There\’s Nothing To It But to \”Do It\”

I broke 188! Let the clouds part and the angels sing, Hallelujah and Turkey Meatloaf forever (with homemade ketchup)!

 What a relief.

Now, on to the feelings I’d like to eat.

H and I discussed his parents this morning. They still have an effect on me.

For instance, we spent May 10 with them, cleaning their gutters, planting landscape (I cannot fucking believe they simply dumped a load of topsoil on top of the river rock they used 15 years ago to mulch their front beds. To plant 8 plants, I’d have to dig through a couple inches of rock! Unbelievable), and generally sweating our tootsies off. I took up smoking again, on the way home. 

This past weekend, his mom panicked when H didn’t talk to her Friday-Sunday, and she called Monday morning around 8:40 (when she thought I’d be gone), and stammered, “Where were you? Are you OK? I didn’t hear from you,” which tells me he has to talk to her (or his dad) ALL THE DAMN TIME. And behind my back. Still.

We’re supposed to spend the night at his SIL’s on Saturday night, and we’ll be pressured to stay with them for as long as possible on Sunday. THEN, we’ll be spending the night at his parents’ house on Wednesday, so they can drive us to the airport on Thursday.

Which sounds like a nice thing, except they EXPECT us to use them for airport transportation. They keep us awake for talking the night before, the bed springs squeak mercilessly when we finally get to bed, then in the morning, they expect us to shower in their crappy, dirty, makeshift shower that has a garden hose faucet for a spigot and no pressure. In 8 years, I’ve only used it 2x’s– And by the way, FIL is about to spend $1,200 on a 42-inch plasma TV, which is so frustrating, given they want us to spend the night all the time. Forgive me, I’d like to take a shower in the morning, without offending them by wearing shower shoes. If they have $1,200 rolling around, why not spend it on a new freaking shower? Or lasting cockroach removal.

We’ll of course have to see them when our plane gets back from FL, because last time, when we took a cab from the airport to their house to pick up our car, FIL yelled at us, because he was supposed to detain us in picking us up so that MIL could get home from work and she could make dinner for us. We were so effing tired, I just insisted we leave. I hate the manipulation. “Don! Keep ‘em there! I’m only 5 minutes away!” she yelled at FIL over the phone. Forget it, we’re leaving, I said.

But that’s not the END of the fun. They’ve decided to sit through a 4-hour sales presentation on a golf-course time-share being sold in our smallish town, so they could spend more time with us and have a free “vacation.” They booked it for the weekend before H’s and my huge week-long bike trip, June 12-14. They did this without checking our schedules, and I know we’ll be pressured to take additional vacation time for them.

My concern is, they are so involved in my H’s life still, although he often lies and says he doesn’t talk to them “that often.”

Why would a grown man want to, or feel the need to, talk to his parents on a practically daily basis? I just wish my FIL would stop treating my H like his best-buddy, and I wish my MIL would stop treating my H like a husband.

And THAT is the million dollar phrase, that I think has effected our marriage the most. I think my H LIKES to be his dad’s best-buddy, and he has a weird sense of obligation to give his mom the attention she’s not getting from his dad.

Oh, yuck. We’re definitely going to marriage counseling.

Posted on May 21st, 2008 by nike
Filed under: General