It’s H’s and my 8th Anniversary. Could almost call it Anniversary Ate, because I’ve gained 60 lbs. since marrying him (and his fat-inducing family).
Ah, and speaking of the Fat Family, we get to pig out on crab legs with them this weekend. I’m thinking of saving my cheating (which I don’t really want to do anyway) for my friend’s rehearsal dinner on Thursday and her wedding reception on Friday. I think I could swing the crab legs without butter, just lemon juice, and salad and plain baked potato. I really DON’T want to eat all the crap my SIL is going to put out for us on Saturday afternoon and evening, because I’m SICK TO DEATH of eating caloric stuff with H’s family for the last 8 years.
BECAUSE: Yes, indeed, other people CAN make you fat, unless you’re very vigilant about their sabotage.
Literally, H’s family stuffs food in your face. I’ve experienced it and seen it happen. “Open your mouth, you have to taste this,” and they shove it in your face. It’s very claustrophobic. I don’t let it happen anymore. The last time I let it happen, his grandmother did a whole, “Open your mouth and close your eyes,” and she popped in not 1, not 2, but THREE olive roll-ups in my mouth. I was almost choking. That was the end of tolerating or cooperating with that.
That was the same Thanksgiving trip when the shelf of the refrigerator broke, because she had too much food on it. Spaghetti, Ham, Turkey and about 5 sides and 6 desserts for only FIVE people.
At the table, my ILs make a big point of watching what I eat: “Oh, Sarah’s going to be so good! Give yourself a break! Try my _____.” or “You didn’t like my ____! You only had one helping!” or “Don’t you want any ____, Sarah?” or “Why aren’t you eating?”
Jesus, people! Is a 60-lb. weight gain not enough for you!? You all talk about how fat you are, and how you’re dieting, but I see your pantries full of cake mixes, potato chips, etc.! “Oh, it’s for the kids,” they say. Why, so your kids can be fat like you? Why would you do such a thing? “Oh, you don’t have kids, so you don’t know– they have to eat chicken nuggets and pasta, or they won’t eat anything!” Go weigh yourself, and you’ll see, it’s better that they DON’T eat anything. These are their younger years! Instill in them a sense of appreciation for whole, nutritious foods!
If I could make it through the bachelorette part on Saturday with only a beer at the end of the night as a cheat, I think I can make an overnight trip to SIL’s. Especially since I have to wear a bathing suit the following weekend.
Have been hovering around 188 for sometime now– actually, since last Thursday. But, in looking through my records on here, I was fluctuating between 188-191 last Thursday, so hopefully, this week I can get down to….I dunno. I’d like to shoot for 186. I don’t see why I SHOULDN’T be able to hit 186, but then I have no idea why I’m plateauing at 188.
I at least want to be 187.
But maybe I’m being too impatient.
(It’s the journey, not the destination. The journey, not the destination. The journey, not the destination. This is how I travel, this is how I roll, this is not about where I’m going, it’s how I get there, and how I leave there once I get there…..)
Upcoming pitfalls:
1) Library board meeting usually has snacks. I just need to eat my own mid-afternoon snack, right before I go.
2) Tonight: Garden Club meeting. Need to adjust dinner to 6 p.m., so I’m still full when I go. The food, I should be telling myself, is not going to be as good as a size 6 or 8.
3) Rehearsal dinner: I just hope there’s no White Death on the plate. I’m a goner for mashed potatoes and pasta, and I’ll just want to eat MORE if I have a taste.
4) Reception: Oy. Try to keep drinking water, and go for the crudite. Have a glass of wine and save the fatty foods for right before you think you’re going to leave.
5) Graduation meals: Stick to crab legs & lemon juice. Go for the baked potatoes or boiled potatoes. Stay away from the sausage or corn (White Death). Drink LOTS of water, because that crab and potato will have been cooked in boil seasoning.
Pitfalls Avoided:
1) Bachelorette day: Except for missing a few meals, having to eat the “healthy” (read: salty) versions in restaurants, and that one beer at the end of the day, I did a SUBERB job of staying away from all the fatty food I bought and laid out for everyone else. SUPER KUDOS TO ME!
2) H and I really had it out on Sunday, quite unexpectedly. I was so tempted to “eat my feelings,” and I didn’t. Rather, the opposite. It really sucked to fight, but it DID make me realize that stress, depression, rejection, frustration and anger are trigger points for binge eating. I didn’t numb my feelings by eating. I let myself feel the pain, anger, etc. I now realize I need to go through Anger Management classes, but hey, that’s progress, too, in a way.
Posted on May 20th, 2008 by nike
Filed under: General
LOL! White Death!!
I love your self talk about the journey/destination. My problem is that I have had to try really hard to ditch my tendancy to think that if the weight doesn’t come off fast enough, that I am going to fix this somehow by binging. Logic is apparently not my strong suit
Good for you on the avoided pitfalls!!
Right! I used to think, “OK, in 10 lbs., I’ll reward myself with something really fattening and caloric!” Kinda the same thing as you, except I was rewarding my weight loss with….a weight gain! What kind of logic is that, either? Amazing. (& thanks for your support!)