The quest for happy imperfection…

Welps, today was another (stressful) day. Let me just tell you, if JCAHO shows up, I’m calling in dead. That’s all there is to it. Luckily, my choices were pretty good. Breakfast was scrambled eggs and broccoli, lunch was some low sodium minestrone soup, a mini wheat bagel with cream cheese, salad, and grapes. Dinner was some teriyaki salmon, rice, and more broccoli. Unfortunately, some shortbread cookies fought their way into my mouth. No idea how it happened, because clearly it could not have been my hand putting them there.

Well, of course our lovely Delita has inspired me, and I made myself log in all the calories from this last weekend. Wow. Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty, and Sunday was 2010 calories over what I should have eaten. Lovely. But, it’s good. No, not the ridiculous amounts of food that I ate. But that I logged it. Normally, I have a day or two where I siginificantly deviate from plan and I quit logging my foods, partially because I don’t want to face reality, and partially because it takes so darned long to log it all! Regardless of why I don’t follow through with it,  it ends up causing a long drawn out empty space of me not logging anything. And if I’ve learned anything through this awkward journey, it’s that I HAVE to log my foods. Literally,for the rest of my life, I will be hanging out with thedailyplate. And so, logging my horrendous deviation was a true turning point. Hopefully.

I also realize that I need to clarify my goals. Currently, my goal is to lose a little over 70 pounds to end up in the 130-140 pound range. Naturally, DH thinks this is a horrible idea. He’s afraid that I’m somehow going to end up emaciated. Ha. But, poor cute dear. In his mind, I haven’t gained any weight since we started dating 5 years ago, when I was at my goal weight. I don’t know if I should think that’s adorable, or fear that he’s totally delusional. Either way, that’s my general target. I also know that my goal weight isn’t set in stone, it may end up higher than that, wherever I end up feeling comfortable and fit. (I can promise you and poor hubs that it will not end up any lower than 130, and most likely more like 135) How did I come up with such a number? Well I was down to 148 when I got married and still had some fat to go. And, I weighed 135-140 in the peak of my soccer career. So I figure it’s still doable on my figure, even with a good amount of muscle. Will I be working out as much as I was then? Probably not, though I would love to. But, my diet is certainly much better than it used to be!

I would love to clarify more… but right now I’m exhausted and preparing tomorrow’s meal has taken the last of what I’ve got. So, goodnight!