Goddess in Progress

OK.  So the weekend didn’t go as planned and not for lack of trying.  I did try.  I got sick Saturday evening though.  In fact, I ended up in the emergency room at the local hospital.  I was having upper chest pains right across my body.  I don’t know what it was so I called a 1-800 medical line the province of Ontario offers (it’s quite good actually…registered nurses on the line to help with questions).  Anyway, after going through some questions she asked, she recommended that I head directly to the nearest hospital.  In fact, she suggested I call an ambulance in case something happened.

To make a long story short, I had an ECG and my heart rhythm came back normal.  I was then sent for a chest x-ray.  That came back clear, so pneumonia was ruled out.  Problem is, no one could figure out what the problem was.  I’ll have to figure it out myself, I suppose.  No one could explain why I’m covered in hives either.  I’ve had hives for about a week now and they’re not going away.  I’ve been taking Benedryl but they still flare up.  I’ve had hives only two other times in my life.  When I was pregnant with 2nd child and when I developed a reaction to Advil.  Neither is applicable in this case.  I did speak to my mother today and she said that my dad  had been breaking out in hives.  In fact, he told her that he broke out in hives every time he ate Doritos.  *ding, ding, ding*  I had some Doritos Saturday afternoon and I got sick Saturday evening.  As stupid as this sounds, I’m hoping it’s the Doritos that did this to me.  I would like to wait until my hives clear and then have Doritos just to test it and see if that’s the cause.

I did some internet research and there are a lot of hits for “Doritos and Hives”.  Who knew?

We got home really late (3:30 a.m.) so I slept in on Sunday.  I decided to miss church and just sleep in and enjoy my sleep-in with no guilt.  I didn’t do very much yesterday either except cross-stitch while watching a Rocky marathon on TV.

So having said that, I wasn’t able to prepare meals like I had planned over the weekend, so my Day 1 actually starts tomorrow.  I will stop at the grocery store on the way into work to buy fruits and yogurt for my snacks.  I’ll probably get a frozen meal for lunch (b/c my food stash at home is really low) and I’d rather eat a Lean Cuisine frozen meal than throw everything away.

I’m so tired right now and this is a last post so I’m off to bed.  Good night!

Really…how many times have we all said that?  What makes this one time any different for me?  Not sure.  My goal?  I really don’t need to lose a lot of weight.  I’m aiming for about 10 lbs.  What I’m really after is a firmer figure and a nice core, not a six-pack necessarily but close to that.  I know that in order to achieve it, I need to cut all the crap I’ve been eating.  So why is this so hard to follow?  Do I really need to eat that tootsie roll b/c I’m bored driving to and from work?  The answer is NO!

In the end, I would like to take a tasteful semi-nude portrait.  One that displays my tattoo nicely.  You will only see my back and the tattoo on the lower right hand side.  I want to do this now before I get any older.

That’s another story altogether.  When did age creep up on me like this?  I know I’m still young by comparison but I’m getting up there.  Maybe it’s hard to accept b/c I don’t look my age.

Oh well, so far food is good.  Mind you, it’s not even lunch yet, but I’ll take it.  I have to stop at the grocery store for some fruit or something for my afternoon snack.

I’m aiming for my gym sessions to begin Sat & Sun.  Hopefully, I’ll get all the cleaning and laundry out of the way so I can do just that.  I mean, what’s my iTouch for anyway?  To listen to music at the gym baby!

After being down for what seemed like forever, I’ve decided to shake out of it and move on.  The first step will be loving myself.  No more negative talk of failing.  NO MORE!  I love me.  I can do it.  Things can be worse so enjoy your blessings.

Having said that, I’m on my 4th day of healthy eating.  Still haven’t found the gym time yet but I’ve been so busy with movement and walking that I’m sure I’ve burned some calories somewhere.

I stopped at the grocery store yesterday for some much needed supplies.   When I got home, I began the task of cleaning out the fridge.  I got rid of expired cheeses and old salad dressings and marinades and replaced them with my new ones.  I had three chicken breasts.  I marinated one of them with garlic lemon marinade, another with honey garlic marinade and a third with regular bbq marinade.  Each is in its own baggie waiting to be baked tonight.  I will be slicing these up to be used in a salad for my lunches and dinners throughout the week.

I also marinated some beef stew chunks.  This will be dinner tonight atop some egg noodles.

I purchase a rack of ribs.  I will need to cut these tonight so I can boil them and, again, marinate them for tomorrow’s dinner.  These will be cooked in the crock pot throughout the day tomorrow.  Most likely, this will be served with a side of homemade roasted potato wedges.

While all this cleaning and prepping was going on, I was also preparing dinner.  I made garlic lemon Tilapia, brown rice w/ mushrooms, celery, onion, and steamed cauliflower and broccoli.  I have leftovers for lunch today.

I also managed to cut up the remainder of my celery and green onions and packaged them separately.  This saves so much time for me.  For future cooking, I can just reach and measure out what I need.  I will try and find some time tonight to cut up the green, red, and yellow bell peppers.  I will use these for snacks throughout the day along with the rest of the broccoli and cauliflower that I didn’t use for dinner.

Even typing all that out seems like a lot. 

Now that I have my eating back on track, I will have to get my gym time back on track.  After all, can’t really have one without the other.

I wanna look like that!  LOL.  Fat chance (no pun intended).

I think I’ve finally broken through my slump and am slowly making my way back into proper eating and exercising. I almost talked myself out of going to the gym last night but I did it anyway. I’m so glad I went. I had a good workout. I will be going to the gym tonight as well. I will do cardio and try to squeeze in my weights (lower body). I’m on a time limit today so we’ll see how much I can do. I probably won’t get to abs but I can always do that at home.

Dinner last night was tilapia with cherry tomato confit, chorizo olive saute and pesto orzo. Not sure of the calorie count as it wasn’t provided with the recipe. I entered all the ingredients into SparkPeople but the count seemed WAY too high and threw my totals over 2,000. That can’t be right. The dinner consisted of 4 different pieces that needed to be put together. I had 4 pots going at the same time. I COULD CONQUER DAMMIT! Each component had olive oil in it. For example, I poached the grape tomatoes in 1/2 c olive oil. But I didn’t drink the remaining olive oil (yeck), for example, so including 1/2 c olive oil in the calorie count wouldn’t be incorrect. I might not even make it again. I liked it and DS like it. DH said it was just “ok” and of course, DD hated it. So why even bother? I doubt it’ll taste good as a leftover today anyway. We shall see.

Not sure what’s for dinner. Gotta figure that one out throughout the day. Stopped at Wal-mart on my way to work today and picked up a 750 ml “SubZero” stainless steel water bottle. I no longer have to use plastic bottles. Just another one of my contributions to the environment. I’ll help any way I can.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  I’ve just been so down (mostly, anyway).  I can’t seem to get out of this rut.  And I’m not just talking diet and exercise.  I’m talking everything in general.  Life is just so blah right now.  I feel like I’ve failed in everything.  My job is boring, boring, boring and the places I’ve applied to for a new job haven’t called me back.  My diet sucks.  Can’t decide what plan/menu I want to follow.  Exercise sucks.  Haven’t been able to get to the gym b/c DH’s working 12 hr shifts and there’s no time to get in a workout after work.  Can’t take my decorating courses (my interest/passion) and can’t take my exec admin courses (not that I need it but it’ll look good on my resume, I suppose).  Can’t afford either one.  Each course is about $300.  I’d rather pay off my credit cards first before I begin adding more debt to them.  The house still isn’t 100% painted.  I don’t know what DH’s waiting for.  I had been hoping to have everything painted for LAST xmas and it STILL isn’t completed.  Asked DH to cut grass on Sunday.  He didn’t.  Would like to buy a few more pieces of furniture but again…don’t want to add extra debt.  Ho hum…

let’s hope i can keep things this way.

had my cousin’s baby shower today and i did well food wise. i did have one serving of rice pudding but that’s excellent for me considering that i love rice pudding (especially when my aunt makes it). lunch started with a potato leek soup, a garden salad with oil/vinegar dressing. that was followed by a steak with steamed veggies and a serving of mashed potatoes. i wrapped the beef up and brought it home for DH. so for two days, i’ve done well avoiding meat and poultry. the hard part comes now when i return to work tomorrow and try to figure out what’s for dinner. i’ll have to make something for the whole family so what can i make that we’ll all enjoy? don’t know. i really have to go on the chapters website and peruse the vegetarian cookbook.

wish me luck!

I can’t even begin to explain why.  Well, I know why.  I’ve just been so depressed lately but why do I let it affect my progress.  I’m so disappointed in myself.  I’m really, really hoping I can get my ass back in gear.  I mean really…who am I disappointing here?  Myself!  Am I not that important to even care about.

Reading this post confirms that I have issues!  ;)  I’m okay.  I know I’ll pull myself out of this funk soon.  I just don’t want to be here anymore.  Now if only I can make work better…

Today was a better day.  I went to the gym and food was OP.  Although…I did have a huge gap in between breakfast and lunch but that couldn’t be helped b/c I was running around from the gym to my eyebrow appointment.    So by the time dinner rolled around, I was starving.  I ended up eating a sandwich, which involves carbs (at night) but it was better than a total pig out.   I’m settling in to watch a movie now.

Tomorrow will be positive eating and exercise.  Still looking forward to working out on the elliptical cross-ramp tomorrow.  I’ve been trying out the different programs to see how easy each one is.  I find I’m not burning as many cals as I would like on the pre-programs so I may try a manual workout tomorrow with my own resistance and ramps.

Um…not so good today. Thought I’d take a day off of the gym b/c I’ve gone 4 days in a row. So I don’t feel bad about that. Food however, wasn’t so wonderful. I had leftover Chinese for lunch (not much, just a bowl’s worth) but then I had McDonald’s for dinner. I know, I know.   *gulp*

I will not let this throw me off the path (as I have let it in the past). Tomorrow I will continue and surprisingly enough, I am still looking forward to going to the gym tomorrow and getting in a good workout. Kids will be at their cousin’s b-day party so I should have most of the afternoon to get that accomplished. I finished the laundry today too. Tomorrow will be light cleaning with the gym session between.

Purchased a new gym outfit today. Can’t wait to wear it (isn’t that sad?).

Today was just a lazy day really.  Well, not really.  I had a miserable night’s sleep but got up a bit earlier anyway and got ready for the gym.  Is it odd that I’m looking forward to working on the elliptical cross-ramp?  Hmm…I don’t know.  Anyway…did the elliptical for 35 min and then did upper body weights (biceps and chest).  After the gym, I headed home and fixed myself a protein shake, got ready for the pool and spent the afternoon basking in the sun while the kids played in the pool.

Everything about today was positive until we headed into dinner time.  We spent more time at the pool than we usually do and I just didn’t feel like making dinner once we got home.  We opted for Chinese food.  I had 4 sweet ‘n sour chicken balls, some veggie fried rice (probably too much) and some chicken lo mein.  Things could be worse I suppose because I didn’t have lunch or my afternoon snack.  I think that calories balanced out anyway.

Well, I’m off to read a few blogs and hopefully…a restful night of sleep.