Through the Looking Glass

I can’t wait until my life is unhectic again, and I can go to the gym and actually log all my food into the daily plate. I haven’t been eating a lot at all, normal foods.. but not really being concious of how much I’m putting in my mouth. I’m gonna join planet fitness when we move into our new house. I’m excited for that, anyone out there go to a planet fitness and can tell me if they like it or not? I hear great things about it.

I’m sick again, and I can’t stand it.. I have like the worst immune system ever!! I keep getting cold, after cold, after cold. Its terrible. I need a nap, I’m being a whiny bitch.

*edit - new pic of me and how i’m looking these days

hellooo. its been a long, long two weeks. i am happy to report i didn’t gain any weight while i was away. i was very good and only ate wrong when i went out to dinner. i was very pleased with myself! i am not 110% back on my diet, deciding to stick with weight watchers in a healthy way and go back to the gym.

i am also in the middle of moving again, back to MA for good. i am happy about that, and hopefully i won’t stress eat too much!

I am excited for tomorrow. I am taking my kiddies to the coppermine, it shall be very interesting. I guess you can see it from space!

I am not excited to be getting on a plane Wednesday and flying by myself. I’ve flown lots of times.. never alone. Did I mention I have a HUGE fear of flying. I hope I don’t get lost, that would be horrific.

I’ve decided WW is not working for me. I eat crazy on it, and I eat all the WRONG things. The detox diet worked for me. I ate good food. I was never hungry always satisfied with lots of energy. I’m going on vacation Wednesday, when I get back.. I plan on starting my new diet. It will be high in protein, veggies, fruit.. and low in carbs. No refined sugars. I will allow myself one cheat day a week. Small portions eat six small meals through out the day. No eating after 8pm. Exercise 30min a day 5-6days a week, moving up to 60min a day by the end of June.

I’m totally going to revamp this blog new layout and new title.

Wish me luck =]

I’ve found once I start eating bad foods I continually eat them and have a hard time getting back in the good food groove. Work has been stressful, and next week I’m going away and its just blah blah blah excuse after excuse. I need to shut up. I’m not dedicated at all to my diet, I havent eaten healthy since I stopped detox diet. Maybe I need to go back to that and just eat the natural foods I ate before. I think that might be the best and not eat all that junk. I mean seriously just because its a 100 calorie pack does not really mean that those 100 calories are good or useful in anyway. The dont back as much good stuff as a carrot does or an apple. I’m going about this the wrong way. Back to square one. I will follow weight watchers points system but eat HEALTHY. I will eat natural good foods with the occasional treat. =] High in protein low in BAD carbs. I was losing more weight when I had protein in my diet. SO here we go again..

I had a good day with food until, my brother brought home some Taco Bell, I didnt even want it at all. It was a whopping 30pts. SICK. Now all I want to do is puke it up. Tomorrow I exercise for 1hour.

I’ve noticed that lately I’ve been eating TWO dinners. I know why I do it, and now am going to stop. I work from 8:30 ’til about 4:30 sometimes later. I work with kids all day so by the time I get home I am starving! But when I get home my family isn’t home yet so I’ll usually heat up some leftovers or whatever I can find and eat. I was thinking ohhh its just a snack and then I’ll eat again when my family gets home at around 7:30. I realized last night that I was going over my points and realized it was from the “snack” and then having dinner. I was so mad at myself. So now I will be skipping my afternoon “snack” and just wait ’til dinner and eat something much more low cal instead of leftovers and what not!

 I went to the gym on Wednesday and now I can’t find my damn gym key pass! I’m gonna have to go and get another from the offices on Monday.. luckily the weather is great so I could go for a nice looooooong walk.

I really am not a BIG fan of the gym when I’m on the treadmill I don’t know where to look, I mean sure I could just keep staring in the mirror at myself, but after awhile I start analyzing everything about myself and wanting to puke. So I just like stare around at the walls and try not to make eye contact with other people. I would watch the tv, but then I’d get all confused with that and my iPod and me trying to keep walking, so I really don’t know what to do there.

I added a picture of myself in the about me section, its from Easter.. I’m too lazy to upload a newer one. That is all.

I need motivation, I stayed the same this week… I know its my own fault for blowing off the gym and not eating well at all.

I am so stressed out because of work, right now we are so understaffed .. its just unbelievable. Also some of the staff we do have just are basically being lazy bums and not doing too much or just stupid stuff. It makes me mad, I come into work early and leave late and work about 10hour shifts, and its crazy because I’m basically working other peoples shifts cause they come in late or leave early. Also the kids are suffering and getting crabby because I’m watching more kids than usual cause there is no one to watch those kids. IT SUCKS. I don’t eat a lot, I just eat the WRONG stuff, and I need to some how curb my habit of doing that and just try and turn to fruit or veggies when I want to stress eat.