Well I nearly gave in yesterday, I let myself get to hungry I don’t eat pasta or rice, so I end up making one meal for dh and the kids, then another meal for the toddler as he is allergic to milk and eggs. THEN a third meal for myself since I don’t eat the pasta or rice that the rest usually have for the dinner, I do this three meal fix for EACH meal all day long. This all equates to me making a total of NINE meals per day, which means I get breakfast about 11:00, lunch around 2:30, and dinner most nights ends up being about 8 or 9:00. SO last night it was 10:00 before I got dinner, and I nearly caved in a got some breaded halibut, and fries from a local restaraunt. I held out and made some breaded halibut I had at home, it still cost me more points than I wanted to spend, but was about 12 points less than fries and halibut take out would have been.
Today I DID buy a medium Frapp from Starbucks, I don’t like their lowfat versions as they taste off, but I could have done better if I had gotten a small and left off the whip topping. But it worked out cause I sort of “paid” for the frapp, the kids and I walked 2 miles to the store to get the treats and 2 miles back home as we drank them. The three year old walked 2 miles there, and then rode the stroller home so on the way there I pushed the stroller with 20 lbs of toddler, and on the way home I pushed it with 54 lbs of toddler and preschooler. The drink cost me a couple of points more than I earned during the walk. I haven’t had dinner as of yet, but I have been busy with the kids and probably won’t eat till the twins go up to there rooms for the night.
I do feel more energetic than I had been before I started, but I have figured out that the more I eat of even good food the more sluggish I feel, and the less I eat the better I feel.
I DO remember how it felt when I lost the 130, one time I walked past a store window and I did a double take as I DIDN’T recognize myself, I didn’t have any full length mirrors in the house, I guess like many overweight people, and I was shocked at what I looked like. Nowdays I am back to slinking past the store windows, and all the mirrors need black shrouds on them so they can go into mourning. I would LOVE to lose this 55 lbs again and be able to stand up tall in a mirror, even though I still needed to lose 30 on top of the 130 I HAD lost. I still looked TONS better than I do now. Plus I am just not sure who the heck says fat people look younger, I am nearly 38 and if ONE more person calls me GRANDMA when referring to the kids when we go out I WILL SLAP THE GARBAGE OUT OF THEM! I even got it at the pediatricians office, I took the two little ones in and the receptionst said “and you’re grandma right?” WHAT?? I am now fatter, so yep dressing more dowdy than before, but geez I didn’t think I looked that much like crap! Now I really feel as if I should crawl in a troll hole, to add to it today one of the 11 year old twins said to me “geez mom maybe you shouldn’t have had the little ones, you were ALOT thinner before you had them, how much do you weigh now anyway cause you have gained ALOT!” Nope only gained 20 lbs since before either of them were born, but to him it must come across as 120! Nothing like feeling self-concious even in front of your own kids. I cannot wait till this month is over, as it will mean we are into the last month before SCHOOL starts again for the twins! YEAH!
Heres to hoping tomorrow is another smooth day, on program I am still dreading the weekend since that is when I cave in and dh is also off on Monday this week to, so I have an extra day to try to fend off snacking like he does. We can’t all blessed with a rapid no gain metabolism and the weight of the average thin woman! UGH!
Filed under: Uncategorized on July 24th, 2008 | No Comments »