Finding the Real Me

I can’t seem to shake this cold I have.  I’ve spent the last week coughing and feeling yucky.  Hopefully it will be gone soon and I can get back to eating right and exercising.

Sorry I’ve been MIA, but I’ve been sick for the past few days.  I still feel achey and yucky, but I’m getting better. 

Hope you all have a great Memorial Day weekend. :) 

The trip to the beach was amazing.  It rained Thursday and Friday, but that just allowed plenty of time to shop :)  Then the weather Saturday and Sunday was awesome and more than made up for the bad weather the first 2 days.  Other than the migraine I had on the way home yesterday (and the residual I have now) it was a great trip. 

So far so good today.  I’m back on track and committed to finally losing the weight once and for all.  I’m going to take it one day, one meal at a time.   I did a lot of thinking and soul searching on this trip (probably the reason for the migraine…lol) and am really determined this time. 

Cute boy is supposed to call today so we can plan a time this week to get together.  It’s been 2 weeks since we met.  There’s been lots of texting but no phone calls yet, so we’ll see if he actually calls and what happens. 

My diet over the last week or so has been hit or miss.  Some days I do great, some day just okay, and some days it’s horrible.  I just can’t seem to stay focused.  But, I spent part of the day yesterday trying on swimsuits.  It wasn’t pleasant.  It was so unpleasant that it was just the motivation I need to get focused. 

I’m heading to the beach tonight.  I’ll do the best I can there, but starting Monday I’m on NS and exercise hard core.  I will not have a day like yesterday next summer.  I simply refuse to. 

Unfortunately, there’s not a lot to report right now because there’s not much going on.  I’m still trying to stick to NS as much as I can, and eating sensibly when I do go out.  But, I haven’t been exercising like I should.  I really need to get back on that.

Yesterday I had a small victory…I left food on my plate!!  That may not seem like much to some people, but as a lifetime member of the clean plate club, it was HUGE for me.  I actually stopped eating when I was full…imagine that…HA.  I guess either NS really does teach portion control or it at least makes you realize that you get full on much less food than you normally eat (which I guess is the definition of portion control).

As far as the cute boy goes, we’ve been texting everyday, but haven’t made plans to meet again yet.  We tried to make plans for last night, but things didn’t quite come together.  Hopefully, we’ll be able to do something this weekend because I’m going to be gone most of the week next week.  

After a so-so weekend and excessive amounts of alcohol Monday night, I’m back on track.  I am determined to stay on track this time. 

Thanks to everyone for your support and encouragement.  I think I’m finally climbing out of my funk.  I think the longer I continue to go through the motions of being happy, I’m actually getting there…the whole ”acting as if” theory.  And I met a cute boy Monday night, so that greatly improved my mood :)  Who knows if it will go anywhere, but at least it’s a start. 

I did excellent yesterday…until…a friend asked me to go get margaritas.  Margaritas turned into cheese dip, which turned into enchiladas, which just left me feeling way too stuffed and depressed.  I honestly don’t know why I do this to myself.  I’m a fairly rational, logical, intelligent person when it comes to other things.  But, when it comes to eating and my weight, all logic seems to go out the window.  I so badly want to lose the weight and get healthy, but I’m constantly making decisions that go against that.  And one bad decision completely destroys days and days of good decisions.  It’s just so frustrating, and I’m so irritated with myself.