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Posted marina on November 25th, 2008 | Filed under Uncategorized | Comment now »

So I didnt go to the gym today I shopped instead :(

And ive just ate so much I feel really sickand I burned my arm on the oven

whats wrong with me!


urgh

Posted marina on November 23rd, 2008 | Filed under Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Im so full right now, I ate lots but not quite a binge by my standards

I really want to have the confidence to call up that clinic and enquire about an appointment this week

I dont feel so good all of a sudden…………

 

 

 

:/


Today

Posted marina on November 21st, 2008 | Filed under Uncategorized | Comment now »

Today food wise was not so good

Exercise wise I did 50 mins on the treadmill @ the gym on difficulty level 9 (12 is the highest)

Ive been reading the ‘chicks in control’ forum posts, some of what is being said makes me feel really sad that so many of us have these problems and issues with food that seem to consume every aspect of our lives :/

Im off to bed so I cant eat anything else

Hope you all had a good week x


Posted marina on November 20th, 2008 | Filed under Uncategorized | Comment now »

Yay I managed to eat a bit less today woop!

Went to the gym, did 35 mins on the treadmill, 15 mins on the cardio wave and 20 mins on the excercise bike

I was SOOOOOO tired today I must have got like 3 hours sleep last night if that *sighs*

I cant wait to sleep in at the weekend :)

Hope you all had a great week, I need to be in bed before 11 tonight!


A bit better

Posted marina on November 20th, 2008 | Filed under Uncategorized | Comment now »

Wednesday was a biy better

I did eat a little less, I ate a lot but it wasnt a binge thankfully

I went to the gym and did 30 mins on the treadmill and 30 mins on the excercise bike so at least I varied my cardio right?

So im going to add more protein to my diet, I bought loads of different types of nuts and a few lil tupperware tubs that I think give me around a 50g portion which I will eat late afternoon, around 1 hour before I go to the gym. Ive also bought some promax diet bars in chocolate orange cos they are tasty :)

I still havent got round to calling that clinic, im scared to say that I have an eating disorder out loud, I know I shouldnt be as most of us do when you think about it

I better get ready for work its 6:51 hopefully today will be a better day *sighs* I am so tired thou im sure I spent most of 1am-6am awake! :(

Hope you all have a great day :)


urgh

Posted marina on November 18th, 2008 | Filed under Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

You guys are so kind spurring me on but im afraid I binged so bad on Sunday I had to take today off work cos of severe headache and stomach pains, so what did I do! I binged again today :(

I dragged myself to the Gym and managed to do an hour on the treadmill

i did one good thing, I looked up eating disorder clinics/specialists in my area, I cant afford private help and I do not want to go to my GP so I found a clinic that I think is free, now all I have to do is give them a call which wont be easy…………….. but i know its something I HAVE to do and soon cos I know my eating habits are totally messing with my body and future health

ARGH! I really dont know why I do this to myself, when im binging its like my brain gets switched off and there is no thinking just eating :(


Today & Saturday = Major binge days

Posted marina on November 16th, 2008 | Filed under Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

No gym just lots and lots of foood :( why do I continue to do this to myself

I feel so worthless

I was doing so well, I could actually feel my hip bones again

Now I feel disgusting and I have to be up at 6 for work :(

 


Friday

Posted marina on November 15th, 2008 | Filed under Uncategorized | Comment now »

I went to the gym yay! I did one hour on the treadmil at a high gradiant and quite fast, I burned 800 calories :)

I know I should be doing some weights for muscle tone, I did try and I just cant, I just enjoy knowing how many calories I burned off :/ And I should deffo eat more protein, I will try

Today, Saturday, is my day off :) I like to treat myself at the weekend and eat what I want and try and keep it within reason as I used to binge like crazy at the weekends which left me feeling guilty and rough!

I did eat too much last night so I will try and restrain myself today (a little!) :)


im SO tired

Posted marina on November 13th, 2008 | Filed under Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Today I found my wee mp3 player that has like 20 songs ive heard a million times before *yawns* I couldnt even last 5 mins on the rowing machine!

I did just plug my earphones into the treadmill and I lasted for 1 hour 5 mins! and then 30 mins on the exercise bike so not a bad day or a bad week………….. WHY AM I NOT LOOSING ANY WEIGHT!

Im reluctant to reveal my weight and measurements at this stage as you will all think im a  failure as it would seem I have achieved nothing

im going to take my fat negative butt to bed!


argh ate way too much for dinner!

Posted marina on November 12th, 2008 | Filed under Uncategorized | Comment now »

2 baked potatoes (400-500 cals)

veg caserole (200 cals)

Muller Rice (250 cals)

2 lil packets of malteasers (250 cals)

hot chocolate (100 cals)

 

1300 cals for dinner alone! :(

I did go to the gym, I managed to row for just 15 mins without music, 15 mins on the treadmill and 1 hour and 15 mins on the excercise bike

Urgh im so full and pukey

I feel so lousy lately, im always bloated and sad *sighs*

I better go before I start whinging on cos I wont be able to stop!

 

Here is a pic of the beautiful Rachel Bilson to pretty my page up: