Chasing away Chubby

Yesterday was my last day at work.  It’s funny, I always thought that my last day that I would walk out the doors and feel a weight lifted off my shoulders.  To feel the breeze on my face, a song in my heart and know that I am free… That didn’t happen.  I cried most of the day there and most of the way home.  It wasn’t that I was so sad about leaving the job or the agency.  It was the people.  I left people that I have known for years. People who I have grown to love and who were my best friends.  Judy who has been like a best friend to me, and who i told everything to, for the last 9-1/2 years.  Norman, who i rode with every morning. A gentle giant who makes me laugh, and keeps everyone around him smiling.  Erica, tracy, Penny, Tara, and Teresa who were like a second set of sisters, who i laughed with, gossiped with, and who were my friends. These people mean so much to me, and it broke my heart to leave.  It’s not like I think I won’t see them again…I know I will.  It’s that now I won’t be a part of that club.  That I don’t belong anymore.  I know that it will never quite be the same. My boss, Kedra, is leaving too, so the whole group will change…even if I go back to visit, it will never feel the same.

I will miss the kids something awful too.  It’s funny.  Your students drive you bonkers most days but the thought of not seeing them, of losing my classroom- kills me.  One of my students cried when I left yesterday and it was heartwrenching.  We were both crying and hugging.  It was so sad that this 5 year old understood the finality of me leaving.  She knew I was not going to be her teacher anymore and it made her so sad, and me sad along with it.  Gosh, I am gonna miss those kids!

I walked around my classroom taking it in all in, looking it over one last time.  There was barely a poster, a toy that I had not placed where it was.  The entire room was my creation.  A labor of love (and sometimes just a labor) for 9 and a half  years.   I packed up my stuff, turned my key tearfully into Kedra and kissed the babies in the baby room bye one last time.  It was hard to walk away.  Hard to accept that I am not going back on Monday.  Not going back as a teacher ever.

I’m not a teacher anymore.

I had to quit teaching to become a teacher.  How stupid is that? 

“Go day” is today.  I wanted to work out but doubt I will get anything in.  DS4 has t-ball practice at 10:30.  I’m the coach so i have to start getting ready. DD has dance recital at 2:00 and 7:00.  So my day is pretty much booked.  I am going to make smart choices eating wise and if I can fit in some exercise I definitely will do it.

Posted on May 17th, 2008 by lodyangel
Filed under: General