My DD has been struggling with her reading. Back in November I had a conference with her teacher and a she mentioned that DD is still switching her letters when she writes and mentioned that if she was still doing that next year that we would need to test her for dyslexia. Well she got her report card yesterday and she got all S’s (satisfactory…they don’t do A,B,C, until 4th grade) or S+’s, but there was a comment at the bottom that said the teacher was concerned about her reading. I am too, so I emailed her back and told her about what I am seeing at my end..some days she reads fairly well, the next day she can’t read at all, she still switches letters when writing, but writes pretty well. She can write but can’t read…weird? So she emails me back and says that we are seeing the same thing and that with my permission she will refer her to be tested. For all of you non-educator’s that means they will refer her to be tested to see if she qualifies for special education. I just feel like crying!
I am a teacher! I refer students every year for services and I know that is what is best for them, as an educator, to ensure that they succeed. However, as a mother…I am terrified! This is a new feeling to me. My oldest 2 have never struggled in school and never brought home anything lower than a B on their report cards. They both were in the gifted and talented program at their schools. Now I have one at the other end of the spectrum, possibly needing special services. My biggest concern…as is all parents, is that other students will know that she is recieving special services and will ostricize her in some way. I know when I was in HS there was a BEAUTIFUL girl, but she was in Special Ed, and no boys would ever ask her out, and no girls except special ed kids would be her friend, except maybe to say hello. This is a horrific situation for me as a parent, because above all else every parent wants their child to be accepted. That is something I learned in my class I just finished about working with special education students, all parents want that above educational goals, just for their child to be liked by the other students. Right now she is popular with her friends, but I am afraid of what might happen after she starts getting pulled out for services. That is how it works now. They don’t spend their entire days all in one classroom together anymore, they get pulled out to go to their Spec Ed classes. So she will still be in the regular classroom. From what I have seen in my field experiences, the other children just accept this at the Elementary level, but I guess I am looking ahead. I know I just need to stop all this and take it one day at a time. She may not even qualify…we just don’t know yet. I just need to chill…
On my end I haven’t mentioned it here, but I have been going to Comp Care for Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). It is super hard to get diagnosed as an adult, but my therapist is sure I have it. I had it as a child, but I don’t think ADD was even around then. If you didn’t pay attention then you were just a bad kid. I have problems getting things done, completing things that I don’t find enjoyable, procrastinating, etc. If you saw my house you would completely agree that I have it. 
I go to see a psychologist on Monday and he will make the final determination as to if I have it or not. I know I do. I have always had it. What he will determine is if I get medicated. I did research on the meds last night and now I am not so excited it. Ritalin is close to cocaine in how it reacts in the body & can be addictive, adderall has some scary side effects & again can be addictive, and strattera is the least scary but still carries the risk of liver damage! EEEK! They all have the side effect of losing your appetite and losing weight! YAY! I think I would like that side effect! So I have noticed some of the same characteristics with my “bubble headed, day dreaming” daughter and wonder if maybe she is ADD too. (It runs in families.) My neice15 just got diagnosed and just started straterra 3 days ago. Hmmm, something to consider…
Food yesterday was awful again. It’s TOM. I have no self control when TOM is here, so I am hoping that after it’s gone that my self control will return. I have done better this morning. I haven’t ate anythng yet. As for my NOT eating breakfast. Some of you had commented on that so I will explain my motives. I am a binge eater. Once I start eating I have a hard time controlling it. If I could stop eating cold turkey I could do that, but unfortunately you must eat to live so I must eat. If I eat breakfast I tend to get hungrier right away which leads to me eating more than if I can just wait it out til lunch. I don’t eat breakfast which gives my body up to 18 hours to fast…a good thing. Your body needs rest from food. (Yes, I believe the naturalistic approach to weight loss. I do not buy into that “If you don’t eat every 4 hours your metabolism shuts down.” I think alot of what the “Weight loss experts” tell you is a bunch of malarky. If it wasn’t we would all be skinny now.) I eat about a 500 calorie lunch and then eat whatever I want for dinner within reason. I don’t snack at all. When I was sticking to my plan, I was losing an average of 8 pounds a month. I have not been on plan as much lately with all the stress and college classes…My head has not been in the game and I was making bad choices. I am not good at counting calories, points, etc. So this plan works for me because it is nearly effortless…something a person with ADD needs. 
The con for it is it takes willpower something I don’t always have. So I am trying to get on my own plan so that I can get back to losing. This is what works for me and I think weight loss is about what works for YOU, not the entire population.
Posted on March 20th, 2008 by lodyangel
Filed under: General, off topic
Thanks for the running encouragement, I need it.
I’m a teacher too, with a specialty in literacy. Is it possible for her to get remedial reading services instead of full out sped? Also, if she is dyslexic, then it would be good to have her on an IEP, and although I know you were thinking about the girl in high school, I feel like things are different now. Besides, there are some advantages, like untimed tests when it really counts like SATs.
Hey hon - getting her tested is a great idea. I remember what it was like to continually fail in school sometimes and how little that made you feel. It’s better that she feels like a success with her school work than think she’s stupid because she’s failing. I understand how you feel about special ed but I think as long as you have her in some school activiites (like band, dance, sports etc) she won’t feel so left out. It’s a hard thing to swallow I know - I was in a special class for english for years and always felt a little less than everyone else - but I managed to be someone in this world and so will your daughter. Having great love and support from you will lead her way. She’ll be able to go to college and succeed in life because you nipped this s&^% early on.
You’re right - not everything works for everybody. Fiber is really NOT working for me right now and that’s supposed to be one of the great answers. NOT.
Glad you’re taking care of your ADD - it’ll help you focus and be all you can be… yep drugs have shit side affects but hey Mel - if it helps you - do it. You’ll be done with your degree and onto bigger bigger bigger things.
love ya!
xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxxooxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Hmmmm….can’t tell you what’s right for your daughter but I can tell you my experience with this. !st and 2nd grade I went to the teachers about my daughter having problems with backwards letters and numbers and I was told we don’t test this early, give her more time. She was VERY SLOW reading and sometimes would read things that weren’t there. In third, the teacher said it won’t be a problem once she learns cursive, which, frankly seemed to me like ignoring the problem. Finally, in 5th, I convinced her teacher to take my request for testing to the administration and was turned down—–they said that if she was slightly affected she was able to compensate well enough to deal with it as far as her grades were concerned ( A’s, B’s, usually a C or 2) and that I REALLY didn’t want to have her labeled (which seems to be one of your major concerns).
So, I let it go, against my better judgement, or so I thought. Well, today she’s in 10th grade, maintaining honor roll in an IB program in the best h.s. in the entire southern part of the state (ranked about 200 in the entire US), and taking over 10 books at a time from the library.
I don’t know what the answer is for your daughter but you need to know that sometimes these things DO work out. It seems like her grades are good so maybe she’ll compensate well enough like my daughter did. I’m glad now that I listened to the advice I got, although at the time I was really mad that they wouldn’t test her. Best advice I can give you is to just watch her grades. You don’t have to decide anything about the testing right this second.
A couple other things (you’ve really been on my mind) —-weekly spelling lists were absolute torture; no matter how hard I drilled her, there were always at least 2 or 3 wrong on the test. As long as I live, I’ll never forget the huge battle we had over the word “dirt”……to her, it was “durt” and that’s all there was to it; and yes, that’s how she spelled it on the test. More than once, I was in tears and ready to tear my hair out.
Also, looking toward the future: I’m absolutely sure that the academic program she’s in now would not have even looked at her if testing had been done and questions raised about any kind of learning disability. A tough reality.
I feel your pain about your worry about your daughter. I am also a teacher, and my second son was born with a terminal neurological disease. Although his lack of cognitive abilities are only one of the things we have to worry about, the first time we had a IFSP meeting (like an IEP but for children younger than 3) I cried my eyes out. Obviously I realized that it was the best thing for him, but it was the first time I had ever been sitting on that side of the table. For years I had been involved in IEP meetings and never truly considered how the parents must have been feeling.
Good luck to you and your daughter.
Brandie