Leeda: Running in a Fat Suit

Ended up eating about 2000 cals today. Ran 1.5 miles on the treadmill and then did 30 minutes of the firm. Tired now and going to be. Like my use of absolutely no pronouns?

I weighed myself yesterday for the first time in ages. I was 196.8. So I’m up about 4-5 pounds. Which is about what I expected. Also, I’ll probably start my period sometime soon, so that could be a factor as well. I will weigh myself again in a couple of weeks. Will write more later.

Well, we went ahead and bought that used treadmill. It’s a Landice which is supposed to be one of the best treadmill companies out there. We got it for 200 bucks and they normally sell for 3000 or so. Even though it’s kind of old, I still think it’s a great deal. The only problem I have with it is that the elevation doesn’t work and we were told that it did. Oh well, at least it runs! Or rather it allows me to!

Still haven’t weighed myself, but eating has been pretty good. I’m not sure when I will weigh myself. I’m thinking I’ll start doing it every 2 weeks or so. I have the feeling that once I start losing again that I’ll go back to everyday, but I hope not. I ran 2 miles on the treadmill and then did weights. Tonight I’ll probably walk on it a little and then do the firm.

Got the treadmill and I love it! It’s pretty old, but it’s commercial grade and in great condition. I just hope that it lasts for at least a year as I got it dirt cheap. I ran 2 miles on it tonight and felt great.

DH, the baby, and I went out to eat. I got a chicken sandwhich and tried to listen to my body to tell me when it was full. I stopped with almost half of my sandwhich left and half of my potatoe salad. Tonight I had a handful of almonds and feel pretty satisfied, though that gnawing feeling of  “hmm, a peanut butter sandwich sure would feel good in my tummy before bed” Away, satan!

Things to remember:

Exercise makes my body feel better and, in my mind’s eye, look better.

Eating is not all there is to life.

Sometimes babies like to stick things in strange places.

First I want to say thanks for the “We miss you” posts. It really means a lot. I have been avoiding this blog on purpose.

I have been avoiding it because I have been spiraling out of control the last month or so.  I have no idea what I weigh and have no desire to know right now because it will only serve to discourage me, though I can tell by the way my body feels that I have gained weight. I’ve been a little depressed about the whole thing, I feel like a failure in a big way. I’ve not been running significantly in over a month. I get resentful that I have to pack the kiddo up in order to get a run in (not resentful towards my kiddo, but the situation and maybe at people who don’t watch him for me, so that I could run).

The last week has been a little better, I ran last weekend and walked tons. I did the Firm twice this week, but nothing nearly like I’d been doing. I just finished reading intuitve eating hoping something would strike a chord with me in that book and for the most part it did. There are some things that I disagree with, but overall I get the point. Doing it is another matter all together.

We are going to look at a used treadmill today. Hopefully it will be in good condition and we can buy it. If I can get through the boredom that comes with running on those things, then I can start running again in earnest.

I’m still going to calorie count…I just need to learn not to eat “just because”.

I’ll write more later.