Now I just have to lose about 10 more to get to where I SHOULD have started from!!!

I started at 278 (ugh) and my highest weight before was 266, so I can’t believe I gained 22 MORE than that!

So, yeah, I’m shooting for my previous fattest weight first.  THEN I can really feel good when I lose beyond that. 

I didn’t gain, but I didn’t lose either.  So, I don’t feel so bad about it.

This week I’m trying to be more aware and eat better.  Now if I could just motivate myself to get out the door and walk or something, I know I’d lose more and have something to celebrate!

Why does it seem so easy to gain, but so damn hard to lose??

I gave away just about all of the birthday cake so I wouldn’t eat it and I finished off the last piece to get it out of the house…(good idea eh??)

Yesterday I was going to have a Smart Ones for lunch at work but my dad brought my daughter up and she was hungry too, so we ordered sanwiches from Jimmy John’s and the one I love is 19 points!!!  Needless to say, I used up all of my points and probably some extras that I don’t have! 

I REALLY need to go to my meeting this week to get motivated!  I hope our regular leader is there this week to get me going. 

I bought new scales over the weekend and they tell you how much you’ve gained or lost since the last weigh-in, which is pretty cool.  Funny thing is that they weigh me in the same as my old digital scales, which is 5lbs. less than what the Weight Watchers scales at my meetings says I weigh.

So, which scales do I listen to?  TWO that show the same weight, or the ones at Weight Watchers that go through the computer?  Ugh.  Numbers suck.  So does gravity and fat!

 I’ve done good so far, I had a hot dog and 2 cookies.  Instead of eating 5 cookies and 2 hot dogs!  They actually make me kinda sick.  I’ve got lots of veggies and I made a great cucumber dip w/ dill so I’m going to snack on that. 

I’m not even liking the THOUGHT of cake.  Doesn’t even appeal to me, so I’m sending it all home with everyone so i don’t feel like eating it even though I don’t really want it.

 OH, I bought some new scales and I’ve lost a total of 11lbs. in 2 weeks!!

YAY ME!!

I’m not hard to please, ANY money is an award for me!

I did eat pizza, donuts, etc. because my dad was in town.  We always eat out alot when he’s here but I still stayed within my points.

I think my body just refuses to let go of the fat.  It wouldn’t be so bad if I hadn’t GAINED about 20lbs. since last summer so now I’m just trying to get back to THAT fat size so I can at least get into my summer clothes (which are still a big size 22).  Pretty depressing that I’ll be GLAD to get into a 22!

But I’m determined to really focus this week and I’m GOING to get rid of some more fat this week if it kills me!!!

Only bad thing is my daughter’s b-day party is Saturday and I LOVE the cake we’ren getting from Costco.  God, I LOVE that wedding cake icing and the filling…mmmmmmm.

I’m allowing myself a 2×2″ piece and I’m making everyone take cake home so I have NONE in the house afterwards.  So if ya want some cake, let me know!

I AM going to make some turkey wraps for the party for us fat adults.  I kind of accidentally discovered them when I needed to make something for lunch at work in a hurry.  I used a whole wheat tortilla and threw in lettuce, about 1/4c. WW’s shredded cheese, some thin sliced turkey, then poured some light Honey Mustard dressing on it and wrapped it up and threw it into a plastic baggie.  It was REALLY good and I made one for today for lunch too.  This time I put in more lettuce though.  I like that crunch!

At the party, the kids and the men can eat hot dogs and brats and chips.  I’m getting a ton of carrots and broccoli,etc. and I’m going to try to make a cucumber dip that’s not fattening. 

See?  I’m TRYING so hard and I’m not feeling all freaked out like “OH GOD, I CAN’T HAVE A SNICKERS,etc”

  I just HAVE to get moving but now it’s going to be about 100 out with 105-110 heat indexes this next week and I’ll be dying if I go out walking in that.  No way.  Guess I’ll have to make myself go to the pool and do some in-water workouts! 

 Ugh, I had to buy a BIGGER swimsuit this summer since my other ones are tight and I hate my clothes up against me, especially being fat and having rolls that show.  I always had a flat stomach and small waist so it’s pretty gross to look in the mirror and see this huge barrel waist with a floppy gut that is also stretched out from having a baby and no, it never ’shrank’ back to normal size!

So, wish me luck and hopefully I’ll have some BIG POUNDAGE LOSS to tell you about next week!!  My meetings are Wed. at 6.30, so I’ll definitely be working hard on it!

yay!  It gives me a lot more incentive to keep going, seeing that I’m actually LOSING.

Earlier this summer, I spent 3 weeks eating salad and yogurt and walking over 2 miles a day and I only lost 4lbs!  My sister did WW’s and lost 8 w/ NO excersise.

That pretty much put me over and I knew I had to try what she was doing! 

More next week!

 I mean geez, I look in the mirror and I see this big fat person that just isn’t ME.  I’m also not grasping the idea that I’m already 4 years away from 40, which still seems OLD to me.  I’m looking at that number thinking, “I still have 20 years to worry about getting that old!”.

I just started WW’s a week ago yesterday.  I weighed in at 287.2…disgusting.  Their scales put me in at 5lbs. more than my scales at home, so that pretty much sucked to start out feeling like I’d just gained 5 lbs. 

My sister did WW’s last year for about 6 months and lost almost 60lbs.  It was a big noticeable difference, but she never excercised so she stayed the same ‘fat shape’.  I’m going to try to do a lot of working out in this process so I can get rid of this ‘fat lady shape’ I’m in. 

So, yesterday (Wednesday) was my 1-week weigh in and I LOST 5.8 LBS!!!!  WELL, actually I lost 6.8, but I left my shoes on and the lady printed out the little sticker for my book already.  My daughter said “Aren’t you supposed to take your shoes off?”, so when I did it and re-weighed, that extra pound loss showed up but the lady said it was too late since the damned little sticker was already printed.  CRAP.

 Well, I still got my little 5lb. star and at least I KNOW I lost that extra pound.  And you can bet that I’ll be stripping down everything I can each week before I get on that scale!  I don’t care if it’s 20 degrees out, I’m not giving them that extra pound again.

 As for keeping track of what I eat and doing the points, it’s not really too hard.  I bought the $25 starter package so I got the eating out point book and the ‘everything’ point book and they’ve come in handy.  I also got the little point calculator and I’ve used it a lot. 

One thing I think is kinda vague is how to calculate Activity Points.  It sounds to me likey they’re saying “Did you sweat for 3 minutes? 5? 15?”  And that’s how you figure your points.  Well, when it’s 100 out and 75% humidity and you work in a car wash like me, you sweat ALL THE TIME, so how do I calculate THAT?  According to their questions, I earned about 50 Act. Pts. for this last week, but then I read somewhere else that you can only earn 21 a week and that’s with a lot of major working out.

SO WTF???

But, I’m pretty proud of losing what I did, especially since I started my period the DAY AFTER MY FIRST MEETING AND WEIGH IN, so I could’ve gone crazy with some chocolate cravings this past week but I didn’t.  I even made it thru a barbecue gathering and going out for pizza. (Yes, I ate 3 slices and it was damn good!)  My biggest struggle is giving up those large shakes that I love to have at night while I read.  I’m also going to have to start cooking more, which I hate to do, but fast food is hard on points.

Wish me luck for this week!