SO…I’ve been doing HORRIBLE this past week. I’ve gained almost 5 lbs and now I weigh 190. I don’t know what happened but ever since I found out my bookstore was closing I’ve just been eating a lot. I thought I would do okay on thanksgiving. I didn’t even WANT pecan pie. Somehow though it ended up getting eaten. So I think it is time to go back on phase one to get rid of these cravings!!!

I am not completely mad at myself because I have lost 55 lbs. Everyone at Thanksgiving said I looked amazing and couldn’t believe it so that felt really really good. I am not going to give up though! That is what I’ve always said! I have 40 more lbs to lose and I will do it!

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!!

Today I have to admit I ate a lot more than I should and I did it simply because I was sad. I had a big cookie and a chai latte and other little things here and there that really were horrible for me. I usually don’t write about stuff other than dieting but today I feel the need. The bookstore I work at is closing for good and we have to be out of there by mid January. I have always said I love my job more than anything. As a young college student, most of my friends have shitty waitressing jobs and I’ve had lots of horrible part times jobs including at a movie theater and a fast food restaurant for a time. Everyone at this bookstore is like a family. We go out on weekends and we have game nights and parties and work is just so much fun. We all make fun of each other and have inside jokes and really enjoy each others company.

I found out today that we have to find another job. It was such a shock and everyone cried here and there. I think I cried the most. I love my job so much. I feel liked and important. It is the first job I’ve had out of 5 in the last few years where I felt accepted. I wanted to stay there throughout all of college until I found my career. It is such a huge blow. I hate this economy crisis we are going through.

I feel like everything in my life has been coming together in the last few months. I’ve lost weight, guys have shown interest, I feel good about myself, I like school, and I absolutely love every single thing about my job. I am not in the mood for my contentedness to go away so soon!

Tomorrow I’m job hunting.

And going to the gym to work off my off-track eating for today.

This morning I weighed myself and I weight 190.5! I was so shocked because I haven’t really been doing that great and I have been so busy (which really isn’t a good excuse) so I haven’t gotten to the gym. But I am happy because I’m ahead of my goal! My  goal was to be at 189 by December 1st and at the rate I’m going I will get there before then!

I am just really excited about my weight loss. I am so close to losing 55 lbs and I really didn’t think that was possible. 4 months ago I was so depressed and I just ate and ate all the time. I thought eating made me feel better. I buried my feelings into my food and I really didn’t see it getting better. I cried everyday and I knew that I needed to do something about it but it didn’t really click. Everyone can lose weight I think but there has to be a decision both from the inside and out if that makes sense. It has to click! My life has gotten so much better. My confidence has improved so much. I feel like I’m worth it and guys even stare at me when I walk by now! I always felt like I was doomed to be ignored and I didn’t know if my confidence would ever pick up.

To those of you who are struggling and feel like you will never really be able to get out of it, keep on going. It is so hard but it is so worth it. I truly believe if I can do it, anyone can.

I feel better than I have in…a really long time.

Well I had a few days that were just a disaster. Instead of going to the gym I ate several pieces of fudge and other non south beach diet foods. But now after gaining a couple lbs I am back down to 194 and eating right again. I don’t feel too bad about eating the crappy food. I feel like I need to give myself permission to not be perfect all the time and this felt like an okay time to do that.

But I really do feel better when I’m eating less food and lots of fruits and vegetables. My stomach and my head just feel better. Has anyone ever seen the show on BBC America called You Are What You Eat? It is a pretty entertaining show about a nutritionist who works with a different person (or couple) a week to shock them into eating better. She puts all their food out that is a weeks worth and then does lots of interesting things like show them how much sugar they eat or how much fat. I think a lot of her information is weird and incorrect. She also is really strict and strangely enough talks about people’s poop a lot. It is very bizarre. But by the end of the episode it usually shows the people with changed habits and lots of weight lost. If you get a chance you should really watch it. It’s on a I think 11-12 a.m and 4-5 p.m everyday. I would love to know thoughts on it!

The holidays are coming up and I’m hoping I can lose another 15 lbs before Christmas. I usually gain weight during this season though so it will be a challenge. Maybe I will go back onto phase 1 of South Beach for awhile..but I really can’t imagine going without fruit or bread for any period of time these days. I guess I’ll see how my cravings are and decide from there!

Well I had a feeling it was time for me to fall off the wagon a bit. I didn’t want it to happen but my weight loss has been going so smoothly that I felt like there was no drama at all to it! Not that I am happy about it at all. But last night I just didn’t stay on the south beach diet at all. Cream of crab soup, beer, french fries, onion rings, and bites here and there of different greasy foods. It wasn’t even worth it!

I had a couple lb gain today which really sucks but I’m not going to get discouraged. These things happen. Today, on this nice autumn Saturday, I don’t have to work at all or really do anything. I’m going to try to make last night up by walking to the gym (which will take about 45 minutes), doing an hour on the elliptical (800 calories at least), and 30 minutes on the cross trainer (350 calories). AND then I will have to walk home. I will stick to my plan and hopefully it will make up for last night!

Here’s to the small mess ups in life but not giving up!

I have reached the halfway mark. Today I weighed in at 196.5 and my halfway was a lb ago! I am feeling great and really not craving stuff anymore. I am also being a lot nicer to myself when I do go off. This before and halfway there pics really are encouraging!

THOSE ARE BEFORE AT 245 lbs!

Here is after

48 lbs lost and wearing a size 15 jeans! Went from almost size 20! A little squished in 18.

I MADE IT!

I am now 199 lbs! I can’t believe it! I am 4 lbs away from being at my lowest weight in the last 7 years. I am so ecstatic! People are noticing more and I am starting to have so much energy. I am realizing how flexible I am and athletic I can be. I can go on exercise machines now with ease and I like doing it! I was worried about Halloween parties but now I’m really not worried at all. I might mess up but I’m planning on walking to the gym tomorrow and exercising for two hours and then walking home. I might take a cardio kickboxing class. I usually miss it because I have class but thankfully class is canceled tomorrow! And for the Halloween party I’m going to I will probably have a Reese’s peanut butter cup and maybe a bud light or something. I’ll eat before hand I think.

My goal was to be at 199 by November 1st and I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it because this has been a pretty challenging week. After winning the bet we all went to my aunts house and….weirdly enough she had made fattening baked ziti, bread sticks, chicken with a TON of butter, apple crisp pie, snicker doodles, beer, and wine. I loaded up on green beans, a piece of chicken, and I made a pumpkin fluff pie! ITS DELICIOUS! I got the recipe from Weight Watchers a couple years back and I’ve been making it ever since. Everyone always loves it and no one can tell its healthy. It takes 5 minutes to make and if you like pumpkin you really can’t go wrong. I took them recipe from a Weight Watcher Website.

HERE IT IS:

Ingredients:
1 container (16 ounce size) frozen whipped topping, thawed
1 package (5 ounce size) instant vanilla pudding mix
1 can (15 ounce size) solid pack pumpkin
1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice

Directions:

I am finally starting to feel really great about my weight loss. Until now I haven’t really noticed any differences in my body and even the way I feel. It almost feels like overnight I have become aware of how flat my stomach is looking and how much energy I have. I feel like a completely different person!

I have been making the best chicken salad lately and I use Arnold’s 100 calorie wheat sandwich thins. They are delicious. I don’t really have an exact recipe. I kinda just feel it out for how much stuff seems right but I  chop up some green onions and celery, add a little bit of raisins and some tiny apple chunks and I mix it with chicken, light mayo, and curry powder. IT IS SO DELICIOUS! I also have been eating HONEY CRISP APPLES. They are so tasty. They are crunchy and sweet and juicy and taste a lot like honey. I could have so many of those a day. They are more expensive than gala though but if you haven’t tried them you should!

To the person who asked me how many calories I eat a day…I have NO idea. I guess I eat about 1500 calories a day. Maybe a little less or a little more. My biggest meal of the day is lunch and I try not to eat a huge dinner. I even have chocolate almost everyday. I’m not counting calories but I am not eating when I’m full and I find myself getting full a lot quicker than I used to.  South Beach Diet really works for me!

Thanks for everyone’s encouragement!!

Well I won $250 in the bet! It is finally over! I’m excited but also a little disappointed. My relatives were SUPPOSED to weigh in on Tuesday but only 2/5 of them emailed me their weight which sorta makes me don’t think they aren’t going to pay and don’t really care about the bet. My only competition lost 13 lbs which was 9% of her original weight. I lost 36 lbs which was 15% of my starting weight. And even though they haven’t emailed me results yet that pretty much means I’ve won! It’s kind of an anti-climactic winning because most of the people in the bet aren’t even aware of the results yet but that’s okay. I am going to get some money!

I’m feeling pretty good because my goal was to be at 209 by the end of the bet and I was at 203. Now I’m 202 lbs and I’m almost at 199! I’m ahead of my goal! I keep trying to tell myself that I should be proud of my accomplishments. People are noticing that I’ve lost weight and I went from a size 20 to a size 16! And I can tell the 16 is going to be too big soon!

My weight training class is really motivating to me. I haven’t been going to the gym as much as I can so this class at school gives me exercise even when I don’t go to the gym and do cardio. I always hated strength training but it feels good and I feel stronger!

After the bet was over I was going to splurge and get some Chickfila which is one of my favorite restaurants. A sandwich really isn’t that many calories and it is actually pretty healthy but I decided to keep going. I want to be 199 by November 1st! Hehe. I KNOW I can do it!!!!!

I can’t believe it but I have reached the 40 lb mark! I love that number! It is so big! I am ecstatic to have lost 40 lbs especially after the hard day I had yesterday at the Maryland Renaissance Festival with all the fried foods and dipped in chocolate cheesecake on a stick! But I only had very little and I guess it paid off!

Getting to this point makes me know that I will get to my goal. I don’t have any doubt in my mind any more that if I really want to be 150 lbs I will. It may take a long time but if I keep it up I know I will get there! I am SO excited to get to ONEDERLAND! I am only 6 lbs away from that! Today I am going to by a celebratory pair of pants and maybe a shirt or two. I’m swimming in my clothes. I don’t really want to invest in a lot because I plan to keep losing weight but I think I can handle some new jeans!

South Beach diet has been amazing and writing this blog has helped SO MUCH!