Becoming Jody

Well, it’s been another 2 weeks since I lost that 11.8 #, and I have not been OP.  Today I weighed in at 243.4, I think.  I am now re-starting week1.  I did so well on it and my BG numbers came down so much.  I know I need to eat this way for life now.

Other news?  Not so much is happening.  The shop is in full swing and I am working and making chocolates every day.  I think I will take a day off this week and try to catch up on some house work.   Darla can handle it by herself.

Hey, Im still alive.  I have done my week 1 week and survived.  It really wasnt that hard and the best part was that my blood sugars are back to normal, if not lower.  Coming from 200 fasting in the am, to a 90 reading was a real eye opener.  Also I lost 11.8# in that week! 

Now the bad news.  I started week 2 and blew it on the first day, the second, the third, well, you see where I am going with this.  I have not been on program since the first week 2 day.

I am re-starting with week 2 day 1.  I will weigh in the morning and see what damage I have done!

Until then!

Well, I made it through day 1 of Wendy Chant’s Crack the Fat-Loss Code.  It wasn’t easy, but it really wasn’t that hard either.

I did have to fight off the candy that called me, and at one point I thought, aw Hell, I will just start over tomorrow and eat this entire bag of candy bars…But I didn’t.  And I deserved a pat on the back!  I came home and had my cottage cheese.  Yum, I know.

I couldn’t resist the scale this morning.  I have lost 3 # already.  WOW but even better, my numbers are way down.  I didn’t take my one pill last night because I was at 80, and this morning I woke to 122.  Oh My, I have not been that low for so long.  And this is the reason why I am doing it.  I want to be healthier

It has been exactly one month since I last wrote.  And today is DH birthday.

My weight has not changed.  I feel awful actually.  Bloated and bitchy, and I am running out of excuses…SO, Monday morning I am starting the Crack the Fat Loss Code plan.  Will keep up to date better I hope.

Just wanted to post that I am still here and I am still struggling…but trying to hang on

well, another week has gone by and this household is still in a tailspin.  DS, 15, the one who ran into my beautiful shop, well, he has been kinda sick.  Ever since the first day of school.  So, he starts running a fever.  OK, I can handle that.  Tylenol.  Now a sore throat.  A few calls later and we get into the docs.

Doc looks in his mouth.  Hmm, N, how long have you had all these sores IN your mouth?  Oh, about 3 days.  Well, N now has a bacterial infection in his Lymph nodes!

He cannot swallow his own spit.  His tongue is swollen, he has sores and cuts, like canker sores, all over inside his mouth.  We counted 22, that we could see.  The terrible part is that his Lymph Nodes are so swollen, if the antibiotics dont help soon, they will need to do surgery to drain them. FUN!

Today he went back to an ENT doc.  Not much change.  OK, let’s hold off on surgery.  Take an oral rinse, pain meds and eat no dairy.  Not that this kid can eat anything besides chicken noodle soup and watered down instant oatmeal and jellO.

N has missed 3 days of school last week and is not going back until Thursday, if he feels better.  To make matters worse, I e-mailed all his teachers asking for make up work.  2 replied and said they will have it to the AP’s office before 12.  I go at 2 and the Algebra teacher who said would have work there, DIDN’T. 

 Nice.  Thank you so much for wasting my time.  He DID get his Construction homework.  Construction!  Can you believe that?  Well, at least he got something!

OK, now to my weight loss/gain saga.  I am finally on the move again.  I did gain about 5 pounds, but I am glad to say that 3 is back off.  I am packing my lunch and snacks before I go into the shop.  That keeps my fingers out of the chocolate.  And WATER…I am about to float away.

SO, there is my weekly catch-up.  Maybe longer.  Hopefully by the weekend, everyone will be back to “normal” and Life as we know it can resume.

 What a week I have had.  Last Tuesday my 15 year old son drove our tractor into my Candy Shop.  His foot slipped off the clutch and it was a total accident, but everyone just feels so bad.

We spent our 20th Anniversary (Wednesday) working on getting our contractor and appraiser together and trying to clean up the mess.  The front door was pushed in 3-4 feet, but thankfully he was not hurt and he didn’t hit the bathroom or showcase.

My diet is crap right now.  I haven’t been taking my readings or watching what I eat.  I am all nerves.  And trying to feed that empty pit in my stomach, so I dont have to “feel” much.  Just bury them deeper and deeper.

Following day we got the hospital bill for my 18 year old son.  He went to the E.R. for pain in his stomach.  He actually drank some water from a stream coming into a creek.  Yup, he had an infection.  ( he is the smart one that is going for Conservation/DNR in college) 3 bags of saline and morphine, he was good to go home after 6 hours in E.R.  This happened the first week in August.  SO, jump to the 28th, and we get his bill.  $600 out of pocket.  Thankfully he is in college and covered under our insurance.  But still,,,$600.   Now on to Friday, and N drops my favorite ornament of my dog.  Hand painted from my mom, before she stopped talking to me.  No wonder I drink.  LOL  Ü

Wow, what a run on…

So, I just wanted to unload here and say I have not given up and I have not quit.  I am just on a different path right now and I am looking for the fork in the road…

HI, I am still alive.  Been doing the whole Orchard/Dog treat/ clean the shop before inspector comes thingie!

I have not been watching what I eat, well, let’s rephrase that.  I am watching what I eat, but not very strickly.  I know what to eat, so I do, but sometimes things go in that I know I should NOT eat.  Oh well.  I would say I am great about 65% of the time.  The other 35% is pure shit!

Life has taken over for right now and that is ok.  It’s nice to not think or plan, Just DO!

I’ll be back on plan soon!  Promise…

I am lucky to be back.  I forgot my username and password.  Good thing I use something close every time I come here.  Only took me about 15 tries.  HA

Well, I am doing OK.  This Saturday morning I weighed in at 241.8.  That is 11 # loss.  Yeah me!  I am watching everything that I eat.  Call it an obsession!  But a good obsession.  AND I am exercising daily!  yeah haw

Things have been very busy here.  I am getting ready to open the shop next week and the apples are coming in and need to be picked.  We also took some peaches to Market this AM.  We didnt think we would have any.  Now to make some crisp or something, something without too much crust and sugar…hmmm, off to find some easy recipes.

Have a blessed and wonderful Saturday!

this weekend we ate out quite a bit and went to Breitbachs last night.  I am now 245.4 as of this AM.  UGH!

Nothing exciting here, just another Monday.  I am back to eating great foods and walking when I can.  Not easy by any means.

I will try to post more often, but for right now, the days are running together and the orchard work is piling up… More later

So, at what point in a family can you just let go?

I am really struggling with M being gone all the time.  He is 18, graduated, and starting college in the fall.  He will be living at home, but I am already having “empty nest syndrome”

At what point do I turn my head and say GO, be SAFE and I TRUST you?  I do, but it is not so easy to say.  I have spent my life around these boys, have taught them (hopefully) to respect one-another, be carefull, what to look out for, and to have some fun. 

Example: M is going an hour away, in his car (junk) with 2 other kids, canoeing!  OK, I have no fear for his knowledge to be safe, but things happen…did you pack a baggie for your phone?  did you pack enough water?  how about a baggie for your car keys?  Pleasde dont tip the canoe over!  what are you going to eat?  do you have enough sunscreen?  what about the others?  do they have knowledge?  Please, NO beer! 

How is it possible to not worry so much?  I feel like I am having an attack.  I wrapped my arms so hard around them, how do you break it loose and let them BE?

I tried to be fine this morning and told him ” be safe and have fun.  Call if you need me.”

But inside I feel like I am dying.  

Now, the other one wants to get his driving permit.  OMG!

OK, so to keep this weight issued…I am at 243.0.  Yeahaw