Nope, don’t think so…
Sadly seems like my son and DIL will be divorcing after all. He is seeing a lawyer this week. Things have gone from bad to really bad for them. My DIL has always had anger issues, I think it comes from being an abused child, she has never been willing to get help for these issues always blaming others for her anger. In fact she has had two criminal charges on her for hitting people…!!! One of them is her mother, who has a restraining order against her now. I know about this problem but she always seemed to in control when I was around. I knew they fought and I knew she would throw things and scream and throw his stuff out in the yard, but he always managed to make light of it. But lately it has really been bothering him, as he hates her screaming around the baby and swearing etc. He said it is horrid and even worse now that they are divorcing. She is telling him that he will never see his daughter again, that she will tell the courts he is a child molester. In fact he told me yesterday that he even fears for his safety right now and didnt think he would ever feel that way. I told him he needs a lawyer right now, and he needs to go for joint custody. No way can he give her total control or she will take the baby away. He is NOT a child molester, not now not ever, that is a horrid nasty and evil thing to say. That breaks my heart. I have loved her like a daughter for 15 years, and now she is doing this stuff to MY SON….I am between anger and heartbreak. I dont even want my grand daughter with her right now, and if I was closer to them, I think I would be interferring so it is better that I am here. Part of me wants to phone her and ask her “what the hell are you thinking? What the hell do you think you are doing?” I want to let my son handle this, but I hear the pain in his voice and the fear for him and for Courtney. I am hoping his lawyer will tell him to demand a psych eval on his wife before any custody hearing. I love her, but I am deadly afraid right now. I think she has had some kind of break down and really needs help. My son said she will not hear of it, and that she lies to her friends and to anyone else that tries to help. I am really feeling helpless right now………
And then there is MY DH. I am still waiting for something to come of this damn job of his. It has been 2 months now and nothing…nada…..fuck all… He keeps saying they are working on it. He goes to Oahu on August 25 in what is suppose to be the beginning of his working there three days a week, but they have not discussed salary etc. And now it comes out that HE will have to pay his own airfare, as HIS BOSS feels he cannot justify the money to fly him there to work. WTF! I dont’ think so……this was to be done so that he would get a raise not so we could spend more fucking money for nothing!!!!! And DH keeps saying, “trust me” Whenever anyone tells me that, I know trouble is coming………..I don’t fucking trust anyone. I hear them on the phone and they are planning and scheming but nothing will come out of it, and my DH will have a million excuses as to why and why he is to weak to do anything about it…..
I HAVE FUCKING HAD IT WITH THIS LIFE……………
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rubyjean
August 7th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
I am so sorry to read that things have become so bad between your daughter in law and your son. I think you are exactly right to advise him to ask his lawyer to officially request a psych evaluation. I am sending you strong hugs, and what strength I have is yours, if only I could send it.
You have been a strong woman all your life, and you will find the strength to deal with this, lousy as it is.
Again….hugs…..
RubyJean
soclose
August 8th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I’m shaking my head—it’s all so sad, that woman sounds truly in need of some major help. Hoping the psych eval does happen. People who are unstable to begin with really act out in situations with increased stress. Hope your son gets a GOOD lawyer who can contain her. Stuff with our kids just pushes all the wrong buttons on us, huh?
I’m so sorry things are so bad for you now. Please do something nice for yourself.
anngirl
August 11th, 2008 at 3:11 am
Dang - it’s all way way too much - hopefully this anger will subside and somehow she can live amicably with the new relationship. Hopefully its the last throes of something she knows is over and she’ll manage to gain control over her emotions.
It’s so sad that Courtney is exposed to this hostility…
DH’s situation is like the icing on this overcooked bundt cake huh?
This has got to get better and it will…. it better. The last thing I need is you being under any more stress than you already manage at your job.
Babe, you’re an awesome, loving Mother and grandmother - your healing wishes as well as those of all of us out here can help somehow - I just know it.
love to you and your family sweets…..
xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxo