Ok I don’t even know where to start!   It has been a rather nasty week.  I am starting to come down with the grud that seems to have infected a lot of us here on the blogs.  Feeling rather ugly, both inside and out.  Also feeling grumpy and a tad sorry for myself.

I haven’t let it affect my running and still managed a good strong run on Weds and even upped my run time by another 10 seconds (doesn’t sound like much but multiply that by 10 cycles and I was pretty winded)  elated but winded.  I didn’t run Thurs as had to teach ACLS all day Thursday and Friday morning and then work at 8pm Friday night.  So will run Sat and Sun.  Didn’t get 4 runs in this week but did manage 3 with 4-45 min bike rides.  I am feeling really good about all that I have done regarding exercise this week. 

BUT….  now here is the OMG.    I have been feeling a bit nasty towards my DH.  As you may have noticed I am not too happy with the state of my marriage.  Instead of talking to him, I have been a bit terse.  Tonight it went past terse :(

He had the nerve (I took it that way) to ask me if I had enough hours in this pay period as he wanted to buy some new golf clubs!!!!!  WTF.  I asked him how come it depended on MY hours, and that the way I was raised if you wanted something you worked for it.  He came back with, “I do work, but I don’t make as much money as you do.”  No fucking kidding…OMG I saw red.. and I blew.  I told him that if he would just man up and do something with his useless life that maybe just maybe he could make some money.  Told you it was nasty :(  He looked at me like I was nuts which pissed me off even more so I let him have it with both barrels.  Told him I was sick of his always beening around, never having any time away from him, sick of his dead end useless job and how he was just basically sitting around rotting.  I told him that if I didn’t get away from him, I was going to divorce him.  I told him that I felt if I told him I was going to stop working so hard and just work part time that he would probably leave me anyway.  I told him that he was a responsibility to me, not a husband and I felt like I was a provider and that he needed me but did not love me……did I mention it was NASTY?  I told him that he need to grow a set, and stop looking at me all the time to fix things or buy things or always be the solvent one in this relationship, that I was sick of being his MOTHER.  WTF!  I told him I was unhappy, that I felt we were on a downhill slide with no way out.  I basically told him exactly how I felt and pulled no punches.

He surprised me and actually listen without getting defensive which is his usual tatic.  Then after I had my tantrum and said my piece, he got up off the couch and left….   So I got ready for work and thought, “wonder what is going to happen now?”

Well he phoned me at work about an hour ago.  He called his boss in Oahu and told him that things were going to change if he still wanted him to work for him.  He said that this is what he wants:  1.  A significant raise 2.  he will be coming to Oahu to work 3 to 4 days a week or up to 15 days per month 3. he want benefits and a pension plan 4. airfare to and from Oahu will be paid for by the company

His boss was thrilled.  He has wanted Steve to come back to work in Oahu ever since we moved here.  He used to work in Oahu with this same company, but when I got a chance at this job he moved with me. His boss did not want him to quit so they worked out a way he could work from home and not have to quit.  Orginally he was suppose to work between here and Oahu, but he always found excuses not to go, and then his boss got sick of asking.  The down side for his boss is that he doesn’t get to be away from the shop at all because Steve is not there to oversee things.  He hired Steve as a manger so that he did not have to be there all the time, that Steve would run things, which he does now from home, but that doesn’t help his boss get away from the office because someone must be there to make sure things are running smoothly and that the employees have some one there .  And the purpose of hiring Steve was so that his boss did not have to work everyday.  That is one of the reasons he has not given Steve a raise.   Steve was not meeting his needs.  Now that Steve has finally pulled his head out of his a** and realized that in order to not only save our marriage but perhaps his job, his boss is delighted.   So they are going to work out a salary, benefits etc.  That means that Steve will be in Oahu Monday, Tues and Weds and work from home Thurs and Friday.  That means I will get my needed space.  Steve will get a raise because he will be doing to job he was hired for.  Benefits I don’t care about because we get great benefits with my job.  

Now the most important things are: a) he cared enough to see how serious I was and did something b) he is finally getting off his ass and out of the house c) looks like he is finally growing a set :)

The only thing he asked of me is that he could join a gym while in Oahu cause he lifts Monday thru Friday and doesn’t want to stop doing that……………OF COURSE HE CAN JOIN A GYM.  More power to him, I am thrilled he is working out.

He said he realizes how hard I work, and how I am away from the house so much, and what a pain it is to have to drive 45 mins one way.  He said he has gotten lazy, never leaving the house, some days not even combing his hair or shaving.   That he has not been holding up his end of the marriage, but because I am so strong that he never feels needed, and he wants to be needed as well.  He also said that he knows in order to get a raise and be paid the way he should be for the job he is doing he has to make some sacrifices.  And if one of the sacrifices is that he has to be away from home for a couple days a week so be it.  Unfortunately with his job being on another island he cannot just commute to work, he has to fly.  But he has a chance to go places with the company IF he will just get off his ass, which according to him, he is going to start to do……  That is all I have asked of him.  He doesn’t have to make a trillion dollars, but he should get paid to do this job he was hired to do, but most importantly he should DO the job he was hired to do.  He has sat around and stagnated long enough………..we will see.

Little steps, little steps but so important……

HE LISTENED TO ME!