Well I decided to take the advise that some of you were willing to give and I spoke to my DH about my feelings regarding the constant mess in the house and my feelings of losing control and how it was causing me to have bad flashbacks…..and instead of blowing me off like I thought he would or usually does, he took me serious and worked like a slave over the weekend.

We actually worked together as a team, no bickering, no control issues, just hard work.  He totally cleaned out the back room that is to be my office.  Set up my book shelves, my TV and DVD player for my exercise tapes, hung all my new bamboo blinds and helped me move in the furniture.  He set up my computer and everything.  I now have my HAVEN, my sanctuary!   I have a nice clean room where I can retreat to be alone or to execise or just go on the computer.  I can get away from the mess and the noise, and football and everything :)

And then he fixed my car cause the battery went totally dead.  He got up early on Sunday morning and drove 28 miles one way to town to buy me a new battery.  My car runs like a dream now!

And we also got the floor totally finished and all the new baseboards on and some of the wainscoting.  And tonight while I at work he is finishing the wainscoting!  OMG, the house is almost finished!  I have a HAVEN, soon I can clean, and put things away, and be organized and make my lists and have everything where is should be and I have a HAVEN!!!

I cannot tell you how much better I feel.  EXCEPT, that I used the excuse of being tired, dusty, dirty and too sore from all the work I did over the weekend to cook and eat healthy.  So on Saturday, I ate a hot dog at Costco and then came home and made home made salsa and had chips and salsa, AND then on Sunday we barbequed steak, and I ate a HUGE fookin steak.  I passed on the baked potatoe - not being good, I just don’t like potatoes.  Not a very good Irish woman am I?  My grandfather would turn over in his grave if he knew I did not like spuds :)   But I did have garlic toast!  and a huge fookin steak, and some baileys over ice.  And damn it taste good.  And I was stuff and full, and felt wonderful. 

All that hard work, and we accomplished so much and I ate too much and it was a great weekend :)

Today reality is back, and even thou I don’t weigh myself anymore, I can tell that I am paying for that hotdog, salsa and chips and the steak and garlic toast.    Not too mention, I am now fighting to try to control my cravings.  I know I am not hungry but my tummy got used to being stuffed this weekend and now it is rebelling at the thought of NS.  I think my stomach thinks my throat has been cut :)

But would not change this weekend for nothing, not even 2 inches off my hips.  I HAVE A HAVEN!