If you want to do something you’ll find a way. If you don’t want to, you’ll find an excuse. -source unknown

Well I am still here.  Collarbones, hip bones and all.  I was pretty scared and of course I turned to some comfort food.  I had some clam chowder and garlic bread.  The guilt damn killed me….or maybe it was a stomach ache from the garlic, or bad clams!  All I know is it made me feel awful.

So I decided I will not do that again :)  Yah, right!  Okay, I will not do that again for a while…there.

Other than the slip with the comfort food, I did pretty good on my days off, no sweets, no more junk food, just stuck with either NS, or small portions. 

So I don’t think the Phentermine is working for me.  I still feel cravings, still think about food, maybe not sweets as much as I used to, unless I actually SEE chocolate I don’t really think about it, and I am able to walk away from foods now that maybe I could not have before.  So maybe it is and maybe it isn’t..hmm.  I am taking it only five days a week not seven, maybe I will have to take it for seven and see.

I am going to switch doctors, a hard decision for me, cause I don’t really like doctors :)  I work with them all the time, and really don’t see a need for them.  I can treat myself…how is that for ego?  But my doc, who I sorta like, is too far away, so I need someone closer.  Someone who will just listen to me and give me what I want and not make a big deal outta anything.  I know what I want and need.  And seems once you are kicking the shit outta 50, they all wanna poke and prod and stick things in every orifice I have……….now I know they have to do it, but I ain’t having no part of having some doc that I work with putting things where the sun don’t shine….sheesh!  I know as a nurse I should be smarter, but hard to when I live in such a small community.  I think I will just go to Oahu where I know no one and have all the necessary evils done there.

Big challenge for me this weekend.  It is my 5th wedding anniversary.  No biggie, but hubby has booked a night at this primo Italian resturant (?). and I know his feelings would be very hurt if I took a NS bar and a cheese stick :)   So Saturday will probably be blown all the shit, but it is only one meal and I will be good the rest of the time.  And he will have champagne, AND I WILL NOT SAY NO TO CHAMPAGNE!  

I know if I tell him it is not a big deal, only five years (and not great years) I won’t tell him that………he will be hurt cause he rarely plans things or thinks of doing things like this so now that he has I just cannot tell him no.    So I will go and enjoy and face the music if it stalls the diet or I gain a pound or two.  I will eat lots of salad too!

Other than that, same ole same ole.  Daily battle with the weight, wishing it would just fall off and I did’t have to diet.  DIET…like Garfield says ” Die with an E on the end”

Ciao