Quess what?  Yes I am at work again.  Doing another 16 hour shift.  It is 0245am and I am beat and still have another 4 hours to go :(

My diet has gone to hell in a hand basket.  I cannot seem to motivate myself at all.  And exercise, what fookin exercise?  I think walking all night at work is enough.  Course I did work in the yard, weeding and mowing yesterday before work!  Does that count?  And then all the housework I did on my one day off on Tuesday, and the painting with the house renovation we are doing.  Does that count?  Who care!

Some times I eat good and other times I eat bad.  I had a hamburger, grilled with cheese and a bun and onion on Tuesday, did not have my NS.  Today I stuck with my NS…and some fruit and of course my diet pepsi.

I am really rethinking my NS.  It is costing me almost 300 a month.  That is a lot of money, especially when I don’t stick to it the way I should.  What really makes me angry at myself is when I see other doing it and the weight is falling off and they are being so good and I am being so bad.  Am I doomed to fat all my life because my willpower is weak and I am weak, and I like fatty foods and junk food.  On the other hand I love the ease of NS.  Just pop in the micowave and eat.  It is not cooking (I hate cooking) and I can take to work and eat any time which is good cause I usually have to eat on the run.  But maybe LEan Cuisine or Heath Smart would work the same…I dunno what to do :(

But my pager is ringing so I am needed again….so I will sign off for today..still fat….still depressed…..sigh!