The Journey of a Lifetime

I have not written in a while. I am supposed to go on to stabilization Wednesday when I go to weigh in. I have really been bad this week though. It started Wednesday with eating out for lunch and supper. I did not make very good choices. I have got to realize I have to make good choices for a lifetime. Thursday I went to an end of the year adult party if you know what I mean. I drank and ate whatever. That did not look good on the scale the next day at all! Then Friday, I stayed on plan. Saturday did good until I went to another adult party…wine tasting with tapias…good grief. Today has been pretty good so far and I plan to stay on plan the rest of the day. Already have supper planned so it should be all right. I have to stay on plan for the rest of this week….maybe I should say one day at a time. I really want to go to stabilization and maintenance Wednesday. I have lost 51 pounds and over 60 inches. It feels good physically, mentally, and emotionally. I have to remember that! I also need to think about all of the good comments I’ve been getting and all of the cute clothes I’ve been able to buy.  

I think Wednesday I will talk to my center about stabilization. I am 6 pounds away from my goal with MRC. I probably need to lose more and hope to while I am in the process of maintaining. I am really stressed about keeping this weight off. I have been reading the maintenance forum and know that I need to keep the lifestyle I have now. I have to keep eating the way I am eating now and exercising 3 times a week. I can’t go back to my old eating habits because it will only put me right back into my size 18 instead of 8-10. I feel so much better. That is one thing I need to keep in the front of my mind. I know I can do it. It is going to take work but it will be worth it!!!!

I am trying to decide if I should go into maintenance. I feel as if my body is telling me that it is where it wants to be. Should I give in and stop or keep going? I haven’t reached my original goal. I still have about 8 more pounds to go. I have also had people telling me that I look “thin” enough. I like the way I look but of course I am comparing myself to 43 lbs ago. There are a few other reasons I want to go into maintenance although I have really tried to have an open mind and think it through. I don’t want to undo all of my hard work. Anyway here are the other reasons 1. May is going to be a really busy month…trips, end of school, showers for my daughter etc. I just really don’t want to stress out about having to go weigh. I know I need accountability though. I will work with a friend to hold me accountable. 2. I don’t need to spend the money with MRC. I am going to talk to them Wednesday to see what they suggest. I can pay 100 dollars I think and go to maintenance. My contract is up with them and I do not really want to extend it.

I just cannot decide what to do. I feel at peace about going to maintenance but ….

I won the biggest loser contest at my gym. I won $500. I am so excited. Now I have some money to go buy some new clothes. We had to go 3 times a week for 12 weeks to be eligible. I lost 32 pounds and (I can’t remember the inches) 30 something I think. Anyway, that is a real motivator to keep going. I will too.

I am reading 100 Days of Weight Lost…it is a daily motivator. I am enjoying putting my thoughts and wishes down on paper. I may transfer some of those thoughts here every once in a while. It is a great book. I highly recommend it!

I saw some relatives I have not seen in over a year tonight. They could not believe how “skinny” I looked. They were very complimentary of my weight loss. It was wonderful to hear their comments. To tell you the truth I needed it. When people comment on my weight loss, it makes me want to work harder and get to my goal. It really does give me some momentum to keep going in this direction. It is such hard work to lose and so easy to put it on. It really is frustrating. I am a little afraid of what happens when I meet my goal. My contract with MRC is over next week. I am trying to decide if I should resign for 10 more weeks. I have 12 more pounds to lose to get to my goal. If I sign, I should be able to reach that in about 4-5 weeks. That would give me 5 weeks for stabilization. Anyway, I will talk to Jeff about it. I really want to make my goal. Could I do it without rejoining. I don’t know.

It’s been awhile since I posted. I just haven’t much been in the mood for some reason. I have been pretty busy with other things going on in my life.

The lifestyle change has been going along pretty well. I have been exercising 3 times a week. The biggest loser contest is almost over and they tell me I am in the lead. I am not counting by chickens yet though because things can change in an instant. I am not doing this to win the $500…although that will be wonderful. I am doing it for my health. I feel so much better. I have more energy and I am not nearly as tired. It is a great feeling.

I have lost 43 pounds with MRC since Dec. 7. That is amazing to me. It has not really been that hard just expensive. It will be worth it though. I have 12 more pounds until I reach my goal. I know I can do it.

The scary part about losing all the weight is keeping it off. I still picture myself as being fat. I have a dreaded feeling that I will wake up and weigh over 200 pounds again. I know it will not come back that fast but I also know I am going to have to work hard. I know what I should eat and I will have to keep exercising. That shouldn’t be hard because I actually look forward to going to the gym now.

My youngest daughter and I are going to New York on May 14 for a school trip. The food is going to be a challenge on that trip and so will my water consumption. I know I will really have to watch it. We will be gone for 4 days.

My oldest daughter is getting married on June 21. I found my dress yesterday. I bought it despite the fact that I may lose more weight. I will get it taken in if necessary. I was too worried about waiting because I was afraid I wouldn’t find anything.

I will try to get back to posing now. I really enjoy it!

My center wants to take my picture for a newspaper ad Wednesday. I went shopping because I really needed some new pants. I took a 14P and a 12P into the dressing room. I was thinking the 14 would be the best bet! The 12’s fit perfectly. I cannot believe I am wearing a size 12P. I cannot remember ever wearing a size 12P. I was so excited, I bought a shirt too to go with them. I got a medium in that. I wanted to cry.

I know I am going to have to work hard to lose the rest of my weight. I know I am going to have to work hard to keep it off. That scares me alittle. I have to continue making good choices for the rest of my life. I just pray that I will have the strength to do it!

I have to say, I have eaten out way too much this week. I went out with my husband on Wednesday because sometimes we just need a little time to ourselves and that is one way we can carry on a conversation without being interrupted. Thursday night, my girlfriends took me out to celebrate my 50th birthday. We had a blast! Friday night we went to a play and again out to eat before hand. Saturday was my daughter’s engagement party. I must say through all of it, I made very good choices. Except maybe for Saturday when I had a couple of glasses of wine. Oh well. The scale at home shows a loss of one pound. No gain but I realize I am not losing much either. I am a little worried about my wi on Wednesday. I sure hope I show a loss on their scale. I am going to stay op the rest of the week. I know I can do it. I did manage to work out Wednesday and Saturday so that helped too. I just have to hope my schedule slows down a little bit!

The weekends are terrible for me. This one has been especially bad. Friday night everyone wanted to go Mexican. I know I don’t have to go but I want to. Of course I didn’t eat on plan. I did get a salad with steak, shrimp, and chicken. Frankly, the meat was hard to find. Anyway, the chips and cheese dip is what did me in. Oh well. Then yesterday, we went to Hugo’s. I did pretty good there by getting a grilled chicken salad. I ate my apple and drank a supplement when we got home. But yesterday my DD and I decided to go to Savannah shopping. We ate dinner there and I did not have very good choices. Anyway, today we are supposed to go back to Savannah to see the Celtic Woman in concert. I’m totally excited about that. We are going out to eat with a few other couples. Don’t know where. I hope I can do okay. This is not a good weekend for dieting. I am going to try to drink tons of water today and do an additional HNS. Maybe that will help (except for bathroom time.)

Monday I get reevaluated for the Biggest Loser Contest at my gym. I’m still in for the $500. That sure will come in handy if I win. I’m really trying. My arm has slowed down my exercising a bit but I still go and do what I can.  

I weighed in today and stayed the same! I really not surprised at that. I weighed today after eating breakfast and drinking water. Last time I weighed it was in the morning before I had anything. Next time I weigh it will be in the afternoon. I have lost 28 pounds and 41 inches in all. I was really happy about the inches.

I went to the dr. and he took me off the sling. He said it would be better if I use my arm. After seeing him I went to work out. Did the bicycle for 12 min., leg machines, treadmill for 20 minutes. I really feel good about that. I am going to keep on exercising even with my arm hurt. I have to win that Biggest Loser Contest at my gym. I feel in peril now since I can’t exercise as usual.

Tomorrow I will be 50. I can’t believe it. Oh well, considering the alternative, I’m glad!