The Journey of a Lifetime

Maintenance is just as hard as dieting. That may not be too profound but it is a battle everyday. I have lost 55 pounds and over 60 inches and I refuse to gain it  back. I have to continue to make good choices. I also have to not let myself believe that I can eat whatever I want now that the “diet is over”. That is a lie. The lifestyle change that I committed to back in December has got to stay alive.

The weekends are hard because we eat out so much. I just have to remember to choose things to eat like I did when I was “dieting”. I know I can keep the weight off. It is going to take work and I am not afraid of hard work.

I have been on maintenance now for about a month. It has gone pretty well. I weigh everyday and if I am up on the scale I just adjust plan my meals to fit. It works for me. It has been kind of hard this week because we have eaten out a lot at lunch. I am in class. When I eat out I usually have a tomatoe sandwich for supper. It works well because I have some great fresh tomatoes. I have also been working out 3 times a week pretty consistently. Anyway everything is going well. I sure don’t want to gain the weight back. Here is a partial list of the freedoms I am not enjoying….after losing 55 pounds. These are in no particular order.

1. Respect from others    2. Feeling wonderful physically   3. Feeling wonderful emotionally  4. Being able to shop anywhere and buy cute clothes   5. Being able to walk without getting winded   6. Walking at a brisk pace easily   7. Being able to keep up with my students   8. Not being embarrased in front of the classroom 

These are just a few of the reasons I have to, and I mean have to, keep this weight off. It is not an option. It is a necessity!

I will wi tomorrow at MRC for the last week of stabilization. I have added back in all the foods and have still maintained my goal weight…150 I did gain a little back while we were in Charleston. It was hard not to eat the good food. I have lost it all though. I think it was mostly water weight anyway. It’s gone and I am so glad.

I am a little worried about keeping the weight off but I really think I have learned a lot about healthy eating and making good choices. I will not gain back the 55 pounds I lost. I know I am going to have to work hard though. I will continue to go to the gym at least 3 times a week and make good food choices. There are several reasons I will keep the weight off:

1. I feel wonderful. I have so much more energy.  2. I love shopping for cute clothes. It has been wonderful trying on 8’s and 10’s and they fit. I tried on a 12 in a store in Charleston and it was too big…..amazing.  3. I have really gained the respect of people. I have gotten so many nice compliments about my success. I sure don’t want to lose that respect.   4. I don’t mind pictures with my friends anymore. I am not the biggest one in the picture anymore…whoo hoo.   I am sure there are many more reasons and I will add them as I think of them.

I have not written in a while. I am supposed to go on to stabilization Wednesday when I go to weigh in. I have really been bad this week though. It started Wednesday with eating out for lunch and supper. I did not make very good choices. I have got to realize I have to make good choices for a lifetime. Thursday I went to an end of the year adult party if you know what I mean. I drank and ate whatever. That did not look good on the scale the next day at all! Then Friday, I stayed on plan. Saturday did good until I went to another adult party…wine tasting with tapias…good grief. Today has been pretty good so far and I plan to stay on plan the rest of the day. Already have supper planned so it should be all right. I have to stay on plan for the rest of this week….maybe I should say one day at a time. I really want to go to stabilization and maintenance Wednesday. I have lost 51 pounds and over 60 inches. It feels good physically, mentally, and emotionally. I have to remember that! I also need to think about all of the good comments I’ve been getting and all of the cute clothes I’ve been able to buy.  

I think Wednesday I will talk to my center about stabilization. I am 6 pounds away from my goal with MRC. I probably need to lose more and hope to while I am in the process of maintaining. I am really stressed about keeping this weight off. I have been reading the maintenance forum and know that I need to keep the lifestyle I have now. I have to keep eating the way I am eating now and exercising 3 times a week. I can’t go back to my old eating habits because it will only put me right back into my size 18 instead of 8-10. I feel so much better. That is one thing I need to keep in the front of my mind. I know I can do it. It is going to take work but it will be worth it!!!!

I am trying to decide if I should go into maintenance. I feel as if my body is telling me that it is where it wants to be. Should I give in and stop or keep going? I haven’t reached my original goal. I still have about 8 more pounds to go. I have also had people telling me that I look “thin” enough. I like the way I look but of course I am comparing myself to 43 lbs ago. There are a few other reasons I want to go into maintenance although I have really tried to have an open mind and think it through. I don’t want to undo all of my hard work. Anyway here are the other reasons 1. May is going to be a really busy month…trips, end of school, showers for my daughter etc. I just really don’t want to stress out about having to go weigh. I know I need accountability though. I will work with a friend to hold me accountable. 2. I don’t need to spend the money with MRC. I am going to talk to them Wednesday to see what they suggest. I can pay 100 dollars I think and go to maintenance. My contract is up with them and I do not really want to extend it.

I just cannot decide what to do. I feel at peace about going to maintenance but ….

I won the biggest loser contest at my gym. I won $500. I am so excited. Now I have some money to go buy some new clothes. We had to go 3 times a week for 12 weeks to be eligible. I lost 32 pounds and (I can’t remember the inches) 30 something I think. Anyway, that is a real motivator to keep going. I will too.

I am reading 100 Days of Weight Lost…it is a daily motivator. I am enjoying putting my thoughts and wishes down on paper. I may transfer some of those thoughts here every once in a while. It is a great book. I highly recommend it!

I saw some relatives I have not seen in over a year tonight. They could not believe how “skinny” I looked. They were very complimentary of my weight loss. It was wonderful to hear their comments. To tell you the truth I needed it. When people comment on my weight loss, it makes me want to work harder and get to my goal. It really does give me some momentum to keep going in this direction. It is such hard work to lose and so easy to put it on. It really is frustrating. I am a little afraid of what happens when I meet my goal. My contract with MRC is over next week. I am trying to decide if I should resign for 10 more weeks. I have 12 more pounds to lose to get to my goal. If I sign, I should be able to reach that in about 4-5 weeks. That would give me 5 weeks for stabilization. Anyway, I will talk to Jeff about it. I really want to make my goal. Could I do it without rejoining. I don’t know.

It’s been awhile since I posted. I just haven’t much been in the mood for some reason. I have been pretty busy with other things going on in my life.

The lifestyle change has been going along pretty well. I have been exercising 3 times a week. The biggest loser contest is almost over and they tell me I am in the lead. I am not counting by chickens yet though because things can change in an instant. I am not doing this to win the $500…although that will be wonderful. I am doing it for my health. I feel so much better. I have more energy and I am not nearly as tired. It is a great feeling.

I have lost 43 pounds with MRC since Dec. 7. That is amazing to me. It has not really been that hard just expensive. It will be worth it though. I have 12 more pounds until I reach my goal. I know I can do it.

The scary part about losing all the weight is keeping it off. I still picture myself as being fat. I have a dreaded feeling that I will wake up and weigh over 200 pounds again. I know it will not come back that fast but I also know I am going to have to work hard. I know what I should eat and I will have to keep exercising. That shouldn’t be hard because I actually look forward to going to the gym now.

My youngest daughter and I are going to New York on May 14 for a school trip. The food is going to be a challenge on that trip and so will my water consumption. I know I will really have to watch it. We will be gone for 4 days.

My oldest daughter is getting married on June 21. I found my dress yesterday. I bought it despite the fact that I may lose more weight. I will get it taken in if necessary. I was too worried about waiting because I was afraid I wouldn’t find anything.

I will try to get back to posing now. I really enjoy it!

Home scale 169.5

Breakfast: MRC bar, supplement

Lunch: 3oz turkey, 1 oz cheese, veggies, orange, supplement

Snack: Supplement

Dinner: Ate out: Grilled shrimp, grilled veggies, salad, water

Snack: Supplement

Water: 64+ oz.