The Last Straw

08 Oct, 2008

Must. Maintain. Willpower.

Posted by: getupnow In: General

I made it to bed last night on my 1,213 calories. I was standing in the danger zone waiting on the dog to be ready to come back in and it was one of those moments. I could have scarfed down a lot of calories in that moment. And I seriously thought about it. But I resisted by deciding to do something constructive instead. So I stood there and unloaded the dishwasher instead. Woo! So not only today did I wake up knowing that I had eaten well yesterday, I also had a dishwasher that was empty and ready to load the breakfast dishes into. I wish I would do that more often. I need to retrain my brain into thinking that taking that time and doing something constructive is far more rewarding.

My run today was ok. I ran 3.1 miles in 36 minutes. So the time was not great, but the run felt good. I wanted to do four miles but I was getting really creeped out. Everyone else had left and there was a man up there who is never there. He wasn’t using the track or anything. Just went into the bathroom/picnic shelter area and I didn’t see him for a while. He wasn’t dressed like a maintenance person and was not driving a maintenance truck. I never get creeped out up there. I have run up there by myself numerous times. But there was just something creepy about the whole thing. So I quit at 3.1 and didn’t even cool down with a walk.

Still not going to weigh until Friday or Saturday. I feel like yesterday’s food and today’s run made up for my two bad days. But I am definitely not to the point of actually losing again yet. So no need to torture myself by weighing.

Breakfast and lunch were the norm. Dinner will be Ethiopian food since hubby brought back injera from DC (we can’t get injera here). I have no idea how many calories dinner will be. I am keeping a close eye on the butter/oil that I use and the meat is skinless chicken breasts. The other ingredients are lentils and veggies and tomato paste and a bunch of spices. So it couldn’t be too bad. I will not have any after dinner pumpkin or fruit or anything just to make sure I am not way over on my calories.

3 Responses to "Must. Maintain. Willpower."

1 | grabthebull

October 8th, 2008 at 1:22 pm

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injera? never heard of it. thought for a moment it was some kind of mosquito-borne disease he brought back from dc. lol. i knew i hadn’t read anything in the papers…

2 | m3at49

October 8th, 2008 at 3:40 pm

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Oh getupnow, I don’t like the sound of some guy hanging around where you run. That got my hackles up. Is it a big clear area around the track? Some creepy drifter couldn’t come out from behind something and run up behind you, could they? How old is he? Are there homes nearby and it’s somebody out for a stroll? Did he look that out of place? Oh shit! Take your cell phone and keep a sharp eye out just in case. Ya can’t be too careful cause there’s a lot of effed up people out there and you are a very pretty young woman. Shit!!! Please tell me it’s not as creepy as it sounded. Ask some of the other runners if they seen this person, okay?

Damned ax murders skulking about everywhere!!!

3 | delitaagain

October 9th, 2008 at 8:26 pm

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Very wise. I’ve found that my *instincts* need to be trusted. I go lots of places, even at night by myself without fear. But if my *tingly sense* goes off - off I go, with no apologies. Good for you for not finishing or cooling down. It may have been nothing, but it may have been important. I really admire that you feel okay much of the time and had the sense to take action the time it felt off. And - for emptying that dishwasher (your next post). GREAT thinking on life changes here. I know I need that too. Thanks! Delita

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Test Results (peak/current)

triglycerides: 1008 before diet, 57 now cholesterol: 290 before diet, 126 while on lipitor, currently off of lipitor and cholesterol is 176.

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