I am not a joiner. I don’t do candle parties and basket parties and girly-girl conferences. I am female, but I don’t understand women. I don’t really understand men either, but that is irrelevant. In general, I guess I am pretty independent. I don’t mind being alone and I don’t need someone to go to the bathroom with me. I am fine on my own, thanks anyway. Clearly, it is time that I apply this independence to my diet.
With another weekend on its way, I fear that I will end up feeling isolated again. Monday through Friday, I enjoy my lunch a lot. But on Saturday and Sunday, B is here and is loading his plate up with pringles while I load mine up with lettuce. And at this point, there is something that BUGS ME about that. It feels like a sacrilege or something. I mean, I treat saturated fat like it is the plague and he mindlessly gobbles it down. I am having a hard time dealing with that.
I know that I can’t allow myself to get that way, though. This is about me. It is very much a battle that I have to fight alone. The rest of the world is NOT going to change just to make things easier for me. I alone did this to myself and I alone have to claw my way out of the condition that I put my health in.
I think I have to get used to this new phase. The part where I get strong enough to do what I know I need to do, no matter what people around me might be eating. It is not realistic to control my environment to the point where I can’t make mistakes. What I have to do is control MYSELF. Geez Louise. I am an adult for goodness sakes.
The weight issue…I logged my weight into fitday today and had it show me my loss for the past seven days. Point Six. Seriously? .6 of a pound? Things are starting to look a little better though, so maybe the numbers will start decreasing again. doesn’t matter. I am not changing anything. I know what I am doing is good for my health so I will wait it out.
