quit thinking September 22, 2007
well, so much for the binder, i’ve already quit writing in it after 3 days. it’s just something else i have to keep track of along with my long list of ”to do today”
i often find myself ‘daydreaming’ (if you will) of being off of work for a month so i can accomplish some things on my list. every day i get up and feel like i can take on the world then after i go to work and it sucks the life out of me, i come home and have NO energy and just want to sit. my brain is on overload at that point and all i can think about is..i have to do this, i have to do that, i need to do this, i want to work on that and get it off my list. then i’m overwhelmed and kind of short circuit and can’t seem to do anything.
i’m most productive between 7 am and 2 pm. if i had financial security (aka-not living check to check) i could take a serious look at switching jobs to something in the evening and that didn’t have me sitting behind a computer all day.. at least not for someone else. it’s funny, i was so much happier when i worked at a warehouse job. i was on my feet and moving all day and it was exercise. when i got home i would do my artwork. my current job is art related in the publishing industry and i’m sick of being creative when i get home. problem is, i don’t think a warehouse job is going to pay me what my current position does and with benefits. AARRGGHHH!!!
i just want a break from life. i want someone else to take over the reigns for a while. i don’t want to have to think about bills and deadlines. thinking wears me out.
oh yeah, and i have the whole weight thing weighing on my mind all the time. gotta eat right! gotta exercise! gotta show self-control! AARRGGHHH!!!!
