Gotta get it out!

I remember as an overweight pre-teen (puberty did me in), that I ‘daydreamed’ about being able to unzip my ‘fat suit’ when I was teased and then laugh at the other kids because I had fooled them all and that I really wasn’t fat, so joke’s on them. Though I’m not sure what the joke really was. I mean, why would I put myself through that, making people think I was fat when I really wasn’t. Maybe it had something to do with hiding myself away, so no one would notice me, but the trouble was-they did and it wasn’t good. So I guess, joke’s on me-but again, it wasn’t funny.

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If only I could read my posts and others posts throughout the day…wait, make that the evening…to keep myself inspired and on track. I do so good during the day, but at night under the cover of darkness I become… The Shortsighted Saboteur!

It’s nearing the end of the day and Saboteur is tired, worn out and down in the dumps. So what does she think will make her feel better…FOOD! Only trouble is, she’s wrong. What we need a side-kick to help this superhero through the dangers of late night snacking. Someone to say NO! and smack the creamy, bad fat, over-processed foods out of her hand and away from her mouth. What will Saboteur do?

Last weekend was my all girls camping trip. We drank, we ate, we drank, we ate, and we draaaank. I had a great time and laughed the whole time. Got a sunburn on my shoulders and back (I am not a sun worshiper). So all the ‘excuses’ for not sticking to WW are over.

I got back on-program Monday and have written EVERYTHING down. I forgot how it really makes you look at what you really are eating. I’ve done well, but the evenings are difficult. I was down to 3 points after I had my dinner and I wanted to eat, eat, eat. So I had 2 slice of Sara Lee Delicious multi-grain bread and 2 Tbs of garlic hummus, 94% FF popcorn and then cucumber slices w/FF sour cream and ranch mix. I DID IT! I stayed in my points and got through my eating binge.

I am a quantity eater and I’ve found some really good foods that are low in points.

La Tortilla Factory Rosemary and Olive Oil wraps - 1 pt each
Sara Lee Delicious multi-grain bread - 2 slices=1 pt
Deitz & Watson lunchmeats - 2 oz=2 pt (ex: bacon lovers turkey breast or buffalo chicken breast-great in wraps with 1 Tbs of LF blue cheese or LF ranch dressing-1 pt)

Just the 3 items above can be mixed and matched with romaine and tomatoes to make all kinds of different flavorful wraps or sandwiches. Add a slice of LF cheese and make a melt, yum!

Anyway, as long as I make my food into a treat, I can stick with it. And as long as I get through the munchies in the evenings, I can do it.

well, my birthday week vacation is basically over. it’s saturday and i’m doing my usual saturday routine-laundry, cleaning house, etc. i came into this week thinking i would be relaxed enough and not have to get up early like i do for work and possibly be motivated to do some exercise…HA!! not with the upper 80’s high humidity weather we’ve had. and i spent the better part of my vacation drinking and celebrating with friends (which was fun, except my b-day party nite. wow, i drank waaaaaay too much). but i’m getting a handle on things now and i’m chilling out with that. guess i’ve been ‘re’-living my college days that i never got to live since i lived at home during college.

my eating hasn’t been very good until the past couple of days. i went 3 weeks without going to the grocery. just kept eating out, spending more than i normally would by going to the grocery. just like small weight losses, it all adds up…lol! i’m actually sick of the eating out and how it makes me feel the next day. sometimes i have to have that reminder of feeling like crap to see what my body needs. i bought so many wonderful veggies and lean deli meats. i’ve been making whole-wheat turkey wraps with peppers, alfalfa sprouts, tomatos, cucumbers, spinach, LF cheese and LF mayo. mmmmm!!! and salads with most of the same. i forgot how filling and satisfying these can be. breakfast is usually a yogurt and a banana or egg beaters in a wrap with LF cheese or salsa or turkey bacon. i’ve also been drinking more water. although with the heat, i can’t imagine not drinking lots of water.

oh, i dread going back to work on monday. we are so overloaded in our department. we have a new girl, but she has to go through training before she’s up to speed and that’s going to take a while. so while we all work ourselves to death, we have to check on her work and see that it’s going ok. time to stop thinking about that, 2 days to go and don’t wanna spoil them.

after i get my laundry done, my best friend and i are thinking of going to the cincy art museum. i haven’t been there in a long time and really love looking at the paintings and thinking about the use of color and techniques. i’m an artist and really need something to push me to start drawing again. i have a portrait of my cousin’s baby that i should have finished a long time ago and just can’t get into it. sad really, cause i can get lost in it and forget about all the junk that stresses me. but i can’t seem to ‘calm down’ enough to even start anything lately.

yoga. that’s what i need to start again. it calms my mind and tells the voices to shut up. i always feel better after. why is it i know all the things that make me feel better, but i continually push them aside for things that really don’t matter or that make me feel worse? i think it’s an instant gratification thing. i want it all and i want it now….lol! but i don’t know of anything that is instant AND lasting in the feel-good department. everything takes time if it’s really worth anything. i just have to figure out how to pound that into my head and keep it with me at all times. …maybe if i gag the voices so they can’t bother me anymore…LOL!!!