I hope you all had a great weekend. We took Mum out to lunch yesterday and Poss and BF came too. Mum can’t help herself. Had to mention that Poss has put on weight. So glad she missed seeing Radio Boy on the weekend because he has put on a lot of weight. Poss, I know, loves to eat just as much as her mother does, poor thing. Not that she’s by any means large, but it is something she needs to get a hold of now, before it harms her the way it harmed me. I keep dropping subtle hints about how she’s welcome to use the treadmill and other exercise equipment any time she likes. I don’t want to nag her.

Radio Boy I do worry about. He is big. I blame his ex-girlfriend. They got together the same summer he got his first car. Instead of walking everywhere as he once had, he was driving everywhere. He and ex would buy a stack of food for lunch: frozen pizza, frozen oven chips, big block of chocolate etc every day and then just spend the whole day in his room (I don’t want to know). It was bad and he stacked on the weight. Now that he’s cooking for himself, he eats pretty well, but like me, too much. I give him magazines and hope he reads them and takes notice and does something. I worry about him. I worry about diabetes.

Beloved keeps talking about “when” I get thinner. The stuff we can do. It’s so exciting. The only thing I can compare it to is the mystery of pregnancy. Especially the first time, when I would look at babies in prams and think about how my bump was going to become one of those and it still didn’t seem real.

I guess the difference here is that I have been thin before. I do know what it’s like (can I remember back that far?) Yeah. The way my legs fitted inside the legs of pants without stretching the material so thin you could tell the colour of my underwear. The way I could walk without my thighs chafing together, and always having to throw pants out because the inner thighs had worn away to nothing.

I remember the way Beloved could put his arms right around me and even pick me up. I remember being so small and light that my dog pulled me right over when we went for a walk. I remember my arse not making an airtight seal on the toilet seat and bathwater flowing around me.

I remember running.

I’ll be able to go bushwalking, belly strap of my backpack actually done up so that I can carry it properly.

I’ll ride pillion on the back of Beloved’s bike, now able to wear waterproofs.

So many changes. 47 hours and 13 minutes.

Not that I’m counting.

Day 5 of 100 Days of Weightloss (yeah, I’ve been slack) is about the magic notebook. I do love the concept of “dealing” with food in ways other than by having to eat it. If you write it down in your notebook, then it’s been dealt with and that’s all you need.

I do have a notebook that I got when I started the 100 days thing. Although here, of course is a great place to have a magic notebook, it’s not quite as handy as a small, paper book that I can carry with me when I face the temptations of the big wide world.

Thanks, everybody, for your kind words and thoughts on this big step I’m taking. Thanks, especially, to you, Dad.

xxx