So there I was, at around 2:30 this morning, lying in bed and wanting food. I was thinking of what Soclose and Ruby had said about telling myself “this is what thin feels like” and it worked. For then.

But lately I’ve been inundated with documentaries and articles and pictures of people having gastric banding surgery and the more I think about it the more I think it might be a good idea for me.

On one of the shows, it was about a guy with Type II diabetes. This guy was sooooo fat. He weighed about 4 kgs more than I do. You can imagine how good that made me feel. Within 48 hours of having the gastric band fitted, he had lost all symptoms of the diabetes. Obviously nothing to do with weight loss, but WOW!

Then I was watching this show that had Mikey Robbins in it. Mikey’s been on the radio scene here forever. This is what he used to look like:

and this is what he looks like now:

Pretty amazing stuff.

I went to my doctor today. Still on the Zoloft, but at least only 1/2 a tablet a day, so that’s not so bad. I asked her what she thought of gastric banding. Of course it isn’t the magic pill. There is no magic pill. But maybe what I need is just some physical way of stopping me from eating too much. She’s agreed that I am a very high risk for Type II diabetes, and I have to do a fasting blood test in the next few days, and she’s agreed with me that gastric banding might be a good idea.

So I have a referral to an obesity team. On one day I see the physician,  nurse and dietician, and the following week I have appointments with the surgeon and the shrink.

I hope you don’t think I’m copping out with this, but I just don’t think I can do it without some real heavy duty help. I’m fifty years old and there’s still a lot I want to fit into my life and I’m not going to be able to do it while I’m lumbering about the place with all this extra adipose tissue weighing me down. There’s the whole “I’m depressed so I eat and I’m fat so I’m depressed” thing going on with me and I don’t want to keep on with the:

I just don’t want there to be any more “next times”

I read this blog by Shut the FRONT door and love the sound of Linda Spangle’s book.  And I love the idea that food has always been my best friend but now I need a new best friend.

It’s true.

I do.

Here’s a lovely winter wattle blossom thought for everyone

…oh, and why was I awake at 2:30 in the morning? Because one of my chooks had a nightmare. Seriously. Well, maybe. I got woken by this noise and couldn’t think what it was for a moment, then realised it was one of my hens. I know their pen is fox proof, but, you know, you worry. Chooks just don’t operate when it’s dark, and I needed to know why she was carrying on. Shone the torch down into their yard, and there was Boris, just standing there, looking stunned. Why wasn’t she in the hen house with the rest of them? I can only assume she’d had a nightmare or sleepwalked or something.

as they do