Last night I heard frogs. It was hard to tell, over the wind, we were having one of those tornado nights, but I’m pretty sure he was calling from the pond.

Oh joy.

When the WTC towers fell, it was night time here. Beloved was watching TV, waiting for Star Trek to come on, and I was in bed. Asleep. Beloved woke me and told me I needed to see this. It was a news link to New York. We sat there, quietly watching it, wondering what the hell was going on. As we watched, the second plane flew into the second tower. I don’t know what the reporters were doing, because they didn’t seem to know what had just happened, but it was quite clear, that plane going into the building. I seem to remember calling Radio Boy and Poss down from their bedrooms to see what was happening, though they had to be at school the next day. It was around 2am when I got back to bed and I lay there, wondering what sort of world I was going to wake up to, and I listened to the frogs. Whatever happened to people, there were at least still frogs.

For all your comments, thank you.

This place rocks.

You’re right, Patty, I need to Just Do It.

Josephine, thank you for the serious arsekicking. That was needed. And I think Suck it up, Buttercup is my new motto.

Rubyjean and Ella, thank you for your thoughts about self-hypnosis. I’ve spent the past couple of days having a look round the net. Being the stinge bucket I am, I don’t want to spend any $ of course, but have downloaded a couple of mp3s and will be starting on them next. Years ago a friend of mine had hypnosis to stop herself eating chocolate and it worked so well. One day she thought “this is silly” she was someplace where there were lamingtons, and decided she was going to dammit have one of those lamingtons. So she put it on her plate and was then unable to stop herself from cutting the chocolate off it. Which left her with a stale piece of spongecake. Yummy. My own previous experiences with hypnosis were not exactly stellar. I tended to lie there wondering what I was going to make for dinner or how my footy team was going or if I needed to fill up petrol on my way home. Then the hypnotist tried to make the whole thing a bit more other-worldly so he shone a torch under his chin and I just kept giggling at him and then he started laughing too.

Thanks for the team spirit thoughts, Anngirl and Eryn. It really does help, knowing that there are others there with me. That I’m not walking this path alone.

Hey m3at49, it is so confronting, not to have a nice big plate of everything and just let the world pass me by while I dig in, but I know that too much is too much. Such a hard thing to cope with when it goes right back for me, to when I was very young. But that’s what it’s all about. I’ve got a lifetime of bad habits that I need to get over. I want to be like those girls who annoy me by complaining that they can’t eat all their meal because “it’s too much” or “too rich” what is that? I don’t think I’ve ever experienced too much, and as far as I’m concerned, the richer the better. I need to figure out how they get to that place.

Hey, getupnow, sometimes I think my bottom is a rock.

I’ve decided that Jon Gabriel’s book didn’t work for me. It’s been over 3 months and it just hasn’t happened. Which probably means that I have fat issues that I still need to deal with.

This is still gonna happen because I’m going to make it happen, and once again it’s the little things that are working for me. Like yesterday, when I bought some petrol and went to pay. It’s a very busy petrol station and as I was coming back from paying I noticed that another car had pulled in behind mine. I don’t like to keep people waiting, so suddenly I was running to my car. No effort.

Okay, not far or fast, but the very fact that my legs just made me run, instead of the quick waddle I usually resort to is important. And that there was no pain when I ran was also very important.

Tried something different on the tready last time I was on it (how long ago?) Instead of going faster, I stayed at a steady pace and just pushed the inclination up. I did 1 minute at each new inclination until I got to 13%, which is as high as our tready goes.

Oh wow. That really pushed me. In the end I was holding the rails of the tready and I couldn’t make the full minute at 13%. I dropped back to 0 for about 3 minutes of rest and then pushed up the speed for 3 minutes. It was great. It was something really different and made me work hard.

So I’m going to keep trying.

I’m going to keep with the good food choices and make them as often as I can. I like it when I feel dismay at a plateful of “brown” food group (fried stuff with more fried stuff and chips). I like the colours of fresh, healthy food. I want good health. I want it.

The change will come. The frogs are here.