the not very good weekend
Not such a brilliant writers’ retreat since yours truly managed to stuff up booking the holiday house. Yes, somewhere in the dim, dark distant past we discussed having the retreat in July, and that’s what I booked. I forgot to change it when we decided on June. Wouldn’t normally be a problem since the holiday house doesn’t get a tonne of use outside of school holidays, but as luck would have it, it was booked for this weekend.
Felt so disappointed to have let my friends down and put sister in law in a bad position. Not an utter tragedy, of course, but a shame.
Picture Book Writer kindly offered her lovely home for yesterday, and we did get a bit of workshopping (and eating) but it just wasn’t the same as three days of fun and talking about writing.
I thought I might go to the midwinter Lantern Festival in Belgrave last night, but it was rainy and cold and I just thought “bugger it” and stayed home with Beloved. Instead we just stayed home and watched Star Trek. Original series. We are playing with our recorder thingy, and having a go at dubbing our tapes onto DVDs.
I spent most of my childhood on board the Starship Enterprise. Was utterly delighted yesterday when I read my story for workshopping and Evil Twin gave me that look she gives and said, ‘You know you’re a nerd, don’t you?’ Yeah! I love being a nerd. Hanging out for the next Star Trek movie.
sigh
Yes, I am procrastinating. Haven’t been on the tready for days. I’ve pretty much forgotten what vegetables look like, and I haven’t even had my ten minutes of sitting quietly and thinking about getting thin time in the morning.
I really have lost the plot. I’m not losing weight. I see how magnificent CrimeWeaver is looking, with all her exercise, and getting stuck into healthy eating and I look at what I lump I am and how disappointed I feel in myself. The fact is, my attempts at healthy eating might have made me healthier inside, but it sure hasn’t made any difference on the scales or in my clothing.
I read all your blogs and feel so inspired, but still can’t seem to make that magic step of eating less. I can. Of course I can. I don’t even have to want to, I just have to do it. I just have to eat less. It’s not rocket science. It’s not even warp engine science. Something just has to reset inside me. I just have to find that switch that will make me believe I’m in a place where eating a lot less food will mean my survival. That’s the only way it can work for me.
When Radio Boy was born, he was large. He weighed 4.115 kgs. That’s exactly 9lbs. Large, for a firstborn, and the doctor suggested I might have had gestational diabetes. Somehow that stuck in my mind and it was during Radio Boy’s first year that I joined Weight Watchers and became a lifetime member. Stuck in my mind was the fear of diabetes and it worked to help me lost weight. But I haven’t been able to find that switch again. Maybe it’s like writing, you don’t just sit around all airy fairy, waiting for the muse to arrive, you just write. You just do it.
Beloved’s on the tready now. He’s been there a while. Must be about time for me to put my shoes on and do some real work.
This…”believe I’m in a place where eating a lot less food will mean my survival”…is exactly how I have gotten as far as I have. However, I lived in fear for a long time before I did anything about it. It wasn’t until my doctor prescribed the “hell fire pill” that I got scared and motivated enough to do something about it. I hate that i let my health get so bad, but yet apparently I wasn’t going to do anything about it until I hit rock bottom.
I love the photos. Beautiful!
You can do this Feathers!! We are all here for you!
I wonder if you’ve ever considered hypnosis? To achieve that inner “click”, I mean. Self hypnosis is better, too, than going to someone you don’t know and hear them speaking for YOUR inner self. Just doesn’t have the impact, in my opinion. I used self-hypnosis to quit smoking; one day I was a smoker, the next I wasn’t, and never have been since. It’s tougher - the weight thing, I mean - because as has been pointed out with some regularity, we can’t one day be eaters and then the next day not be eaters. We always have to eat (damnit). But self-hypnosis can help us to enjoy the stuff that’s “good” for us - as in the stuff that will help us to lose weight - and not like so much the stuff that won’t. There are several fairly decent websites, if you do a Google search, about self hypnosis. A lot like your ten-minute meditations, but with a little more focus and “oomph”, perhaps? Anyway, just a thought -
Hugs to you feathers, dear -
Z
Less food??? I’m an eater! I’ll be darned if I’ll eat a lot less food!
I cut out the junk food, the saucy crap and what not. Isn’t that enough? I eat lean meat(mostly) 
I knock back a sh*tload of veggies,raw cooked I’m not fussy! LOL and don’t nobody mess with my cereal bowl…or else! I have discovered recently that if I eat a hefty amount of chow early on in the day, then I don’t eat so much later on. Good luck to you Feathers! I hope you can find ‘your thing’ something that works for you, and start whittling those pounds off in style! If you must, give yourself a good old kick in the butt and get on with it! 
thats’s what I have to do sometimes…tough love! Yikes 
damn i hear you ms. feathers. i just read this article the other day providing evidence that EATING, not simply exercise is the KEY to losing weight. we need the exercise to keep us limber and young but the food is the key.
man. why did that seem more daunting to me than exercise? I friggin HATE exercise.
yes, we need to get our s&*& together and get this train on the road. we can do it together ms. feathers…. let’s do it!
ok, though tomorrow ok?
xoxoxo
Ms. Feathers, everyone here knows all too well that feeling you describe of wanting to get that “click”. Ella’s suggestion was interesting. I hope you find it dear lady.
P.S. I loved/lived Star Trek too!
I’m going to put on my Drill Sergeant face and tell you: SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP! You CAN do this and I don’t want to see any moping around about how you can’t. The hard part of creating new good habits is all up front when you have to GUT IT OUT while your subconscious pitches fits and tantrums at having to actually CHANGE. But if you can get through that part, if you can hang on by your fingernails just long enough, suddenly the hard new habits are just old hat. SO DO IT BABY, DO IT!
Know what, Feathers, sometimes that Nike commercial is right…JUST DO IT! I think of it like going to work. Sometimes I don’t want to go to work but I have to roll out of bed, slurp up some coffee and just do it! It ain’t easy and it ain’t fun but it makes me feel better so that other things are easier and more fun and I feel better about myself in the long run. Cheering for you, baby! Get UP and just DO it!