Sometimes I get down. Sometimes I get very down. I know it’s a common problem. Eating disorders and emotional disorders go hand in hand.

Yes, I have a hormone disorder, too. My thyroid is underactive and has been just taking up space in my neck for nearly 20 years now. And I am being treated for depression.

sigh.

I was down yesterday. For the usual reason: no reason.

Or the usual reason: I’m too fat.

Or the usual reason: we don’t have enough money.

A lot of the problems with my depression is that I get into the habit of being depressed. So I thought about myself yesterday and came up with a few ideas to help myself along.

First of all, the “no reason” reason is that I’m bored and that I’m not writing enough. It’s stupid to sit around waiting for the muse to bite me on the arse and get me motivated to write again, that’s exactly what I tell people not to do. I was lucky this morning to have been doing a radio interview and it got me quite motivated about my accomplishments as a writer and about writing. Okay, so I’m not Stephen King or JK Rowling, but I like to write and it makes me feel good. It’s why I blog.

Sure. I could feel bad about being fat. Wow. That’s going to help. A bit of self pity really burns those kilos off. Not. So I’ll think about the positive thing that I’m doing now. I’ll think about being surrounded by abundance and how my trees are growing and the pleasure I get in the sound of a little frog. If I just keep doing all the right things, then the weight will come off. I just have to be patient, and I’m doing the right thing at the moment and I’m eating clean, so I’m getting healthier every time I eat.

As for the money thing, well, we’re never going to be rich, but here I hope I can count my blessings without arousing the jelousy of any of the gods:

I am so happy living with Beloved

We have two healthy, well-adjusted children who I am so proud to be related to

We have a lovely home and pets and a mortgage which, although it is large, isn’t going to send us to the poorhouse just yet

We have our health

We have friends and family who love us

We both have jobs

So much to give thanks for.

Here’s a nice autumny picture. I am still really enjoying doing the visualisation sessions in the mornings. Jon calls them SMART Mode™  I’m not sure if the SMART is an acronym, and if it is, what it’s for, but I’m enjoying these sessions a lot and want to build them into my regular daily routine.