Well, things hadn’t gone quite as swimmingly as I’d hoped today. Mainly because I was foolish and did what it says not to do in the book: I weighed myself. I don’t know why I did that. It specifically warns not to in the book and I knew it wasn’t going to be good news, I mean, it’s not like my clothes are getting all baggy on me or anything, but I just felt confident and I thought “It’ll be okay. I can just sneak on those scales and nobody needs to know.”

But I knew.

It’s not like I’d stacked on the weight or anything, in fact, I think I’d actually lost a teeeny tiiiiny bit, but not much. Probably only a fart’s worth, you know, the kind of thing that if you breathe in it makes a difference. And it’s not like I wasn’t warned. In the book it says it’s quite possible to put weight on during the first part of the process. So I was warned and I didn’t heed that warning. More fool me.

So then I got stuck into those left over M&Ms from the other day. Oh well. At least I’ve dealt with the M&M infestation. Should have chucked them in the bokashi when I had the chance.

Look, it’s not like today was a total writeoff. I did start Phase II, which is more meditation. I sat on my balcony, overlooking the valley and I meditated. I sat there naked in 11º but it didn’t affect me due to my menopausal superpower of hot flushes. I sat in the cool and meditated on how great it is to be slim. Yeah. It is great. I know. I was slim once, a long time ago.

Then Poss and I went shopping. She needed new underwear because her bras are going feral and shedding their wires all over the place. Then she talked me into a real cute jacket. What can I say? There I was, wishing I could fit into some of those cute clothes. Normally the shop assistants shoo me out of those places, afraid I might scare off the real customers, I guess. Now, why wasn’t I thinking of cute little jackets and things when I was stuffing my face with lollies?

I guess coz I’m not perfect

Kind of a weird picture today. I forgot I bought this. It’s a hyacinth bulb in a bottle thingy. You stick it in a cupboard and forget about it, which is what I did, last week. When I opened the cupboard yesterday, there it was, no longer a bulb but something alive. All those roots. Fascinating.

I have to keep reminding myself that weightloss, true weightloss that involves changes in lifestyle, takes time. That yes, there are some people who can do it quickly but I’m not one of them. And even if I was, I’d put it all back on again just as quickly. Like last year when I had gastro and was so delighted when I got on the scales (well, it’s an ill wind, you know) but I couldn’t keep those 4kgs off. It just wasn’t going to happen.

Who knows, maybe by the time that bulb becomes a lovely flower I’ll have done something worth crowing about. Maybe I’ll have lost some weight by then, but I don’t need to stress about it. I don’t need to fret about it, because even if I haven’t lost the weight, I’ll still have the beautiful flower.

They smell so good.