I suppose day one should start with a bunch of statistics. And a photo. So don’t wanna go there, and as for the photo, well, wasn’t there something about not putting offensive material in these blogs?

Yeah. I know. I have to stop thinking about myself in that way. Fact is, I avoid looking at myself. I avoid mirrors and reflective surfaces and I shy away when cameras are brought out. I hate how I look. I think I am a disgrace. But in the interest of honesty I’m going to put a photo here, or else I’ll take one and put it here because this is an experiment.

I’m probably like a lot of people here: I’ve tried them all. I was a fat little girl and I grew into a fat adult. Twice in my life I’ve managed to lose weight and I LOVED how it felt. The first time I was in my early 20s. I spent an hour a day doing situps then I spent the next hour running then I spent the next hour doing more exercises. You know what? Three hours a day is BORING. I was fit, I weighed about 57 kilos and I was fit. This is what I looked like then:

It was all good. Even got me my first (and only) boyfriend. We’re still together. Thing is, though, sex and pizza are so much more fun than three hours of exercise a day. I stacked on the weight and some time during that first couple of years together my thyroid shut down, only the doctor didn’t diagnose it. I got pregnant and morning sickness made me EAT. Oh, you wouldn’t believe it. I ate everything – as long as it wasn’t a green veggie. Fried bacon sandwiches, yes please!

Our son was born, lovely Nick, but he was big. 4.150kg. There was some suggestion that I might have had a big of gestational diabetes and that scared me. That really scared me. Nick was born in October 1986 and I promised myself that I would join Weight Watchers in the new year.

Like my 3 hours a day of exercise, I was very focussed on the weightloss group. Nick was their mascot and I lost .5kg just about every week. I was the pinup girl. Really. A solid, slow, steady weightloss. There were only 2 things in my life: my baby and my diet. (Okay, my honey bunch was in there too, solid as a rock by my side). It was total focus and it worked. I lost something like 30kg. I weighed around 50kg.

Then I got pregnant again. It had taken about 9 months of utter commitment for me to lose that weight. People who really didn’t understand, said I’d do it again, easily, once the second baby was born. Even though I got the morning sickness again and survived it by eating too much, I really didn’t stack on a ridiculous amount of weight. Mai was born in September 1988, she came in at a massive 4.59kg and I wanted to lose weight straight away. But it was too much for me. The perfectionist.

The weight just kept going on and on, no matter how hard I tried and frankly I was prepared to try anything: except eating less and exercising a whole lot. I went to the gym, I took pills, I walked, I got treatment for the thyroid disorder, I sulked. None of it worked.

This is what I look like now:

Scary, huh? Don’t let the kiddies near that before bedtime or they’ll have nightmares. You can see why I avoid cameras and reflective surfaces.

So here are the stats:

I weigh 111kg (got on the scales just then)

I continue to delude myself that I can fit into a size 18 (xxl) but it’s pretty tight under the armpits. 20 is more comfortable.

I take medication for the thyroid disorder and depression. Other than that my health seems to be good. I do not have high blood pressure or cholesterol issues. Despite the large birthweight of my children, I do not have diabetes. Last year, as part of the Oxfam trailwalker, I walked 40kg on a 38C day. The only reason we stopped (the walk was 100km) was chafing. I’d just about chafed the skin off between my thighs. Story of my life, really.

Okay, so this is the plan:

I’ve bought this book

Should get here in the next couple of days. I have to say, already I’m excited about it. You know how it is, you think “this might really be the answer”.

You know, I see all this stuff and I read all the testimonials and I wonder, I really wonder if they truly work. So I’m going to give it a shot. I’m going to be that guinea pig and you can see if it works, too. If it doesn’t, well, the book comes with a money back guarantee, and I’m not scared to capitalise on that if I don’t think it’s worked.

I’m probably going to blog about once a week because I so don’t believe those “I lost 4kg in two days” testimonials. We’ll see how it goes. Wish me luck.

Well, I’m off to get on the treadmill now. See you soon.