Well, this isn’t going to be much of a blog at all because so far – nothing’s happened. But I’ll tell you this for free: I’m not going to go on a diet. No way. Been there, done that.

Actually, I emailed Jon Gabriel when I did the first blog on this site, just to let him know that I’m doing it and make sure it’s okay with him that I’m mentioning his book. He sent me back a couple of emails and I have to say he sounds like a really nice person. He also sent me this link: http://www.jongabriel.com/pdfs/Whydietsdont.pdf which is, okay, a bit of an ad for his book, but I don’t mind that. It also states very clearly why I won’t be going on a diet this time or ever. Because diets don’t work and there’s a very good physiological reason for this. I like it when things get explained to m.

I told Jon I didn’t believe his testimonials. Not that I think he’s telling porkies or anything, it’s just part of my skeptical nature. I am, in truth, a bit of a Fox Mulder: I want to believe. Really, I would totally love it if this blog turns into another testimonial to Jon’s method. If it doesn’t, then I’ll just have to say that it didn’t work for me. It’s good when these things work for others, I just want me to be the winner this time. Who knows, maybe he’ll finish up with two Amandas from Melbourne who have lost fabulous amounts of weight.

Well, I’ve been up for hours now, procrastinating on the computer as I avoid going on the treadmill. Really must do that now. Then I get some breakfast.

I’m trying to go on the tready every day. I only do 20 minutes but it’s interval training which I got from a book by Bill Phillips I never did get the utterly brilliant transformation as promised by Body For Life (gee, you’d never guess, huh?) but that’s mainly because I’m not interested in spending my entire life living on a diet of protein bars and whey shakes. Funny about that. Just not my style, although the pictures of the amazing changes people have made are fabulous and inspiring. – sorry, I did put in links to these pages, but they hijacked my whole browser so I took them out. You can find them if you just go bodyforlife and billphillips in your address window.

Okay. Now I’m going. I have a treadmill to abuse. I have breakfast (sheesh, it’s nearly lunch time!) to consume. I have a postie to wait for.

I wish this picture of me was more inspiring. I spoil my own good times by being so fat. It’s from 9th of Feb, and Rebecca (middle) and Rachel (right) were the actor and director of my very first play.

I suppose day one should start with a bunch of statistics. And a photo. So don’t wanna go there, and as for the photo, well, wasn’t there something about not putting offensive material in these blogs?

Yeah. I know. I have to stop thinking about myself in that way. Fact is, I avoid looking at myself. I avoid mirrors and reflective surfaces and I shy away when cameras are brought out. I hate how I look. I think I am a disgrace. But in the interest of honesty I’m going to put a photo here, or else I’ll take one and put it here because this is an experiment.

I’m probably like a lot of people here: I’ve tried them all. I was a fat little girl and I grew into a fat adult. Twice in my life I’ve managed to lose weight and I LOVED how it felt. The first time I was in my early 20s. I spent an hour a day doing situps then I spent the next hour running then I spent the next hour doing more exercises. You know what? Three hours a day is BORING. I was fit, I weighed about 57 kilos and I was fit. This is what I looked like then:

It was all good. Even got me my first (and only) boyfriend. We’re still together. Thing is, though, sex and pizza are so much more fun than three hours of exercise a day. I stacked on the weight and some time during that first couple of years together my thyroid shut down, only the doctor didn’t diagnose it. I got pregnant and morning sickness made me EAT. Oh, you wouldn’t believe it. I ate everything – as long as it wasn’t a green veggie. Fried bacon sandwiches, yes please!

Our son was born, lovely Nick, but he was big. 4.150kg. There was some suggestion that I might have had a big of gestational diabetes and that scared me. That really scared me. Nick was born in October 1986 and I promised myself that I would join Weight Watchers in the new year.

Like my 3 hours a day of exercise, I was very focussed on the weightloss group. Nick was their mascot and I lost .5kg just about every week. I was the pinup girl. Really. A solid, slow, steady weightloss. There were only 2 things in my life: my baby and my diet. (Okay, my honey bunch was in there too, solid as a rock by my side). It was total focus and it worked. I lost something like 30kg. I weighed around 50kg.

Then I got pregnant again. It had taken about 9 months of utter commitment for me to lose that weight. People who really didn’t understand, said I’d do it again, easily, once the second baby was born. Even though I got the morning sickness again and survived it by eating too much, I really didn’t stack on a ridiculous amount of weight. Mai was born in September 1988, she came in at a massive 4.59kg and I wanted to lose weight straight away. But it was too much for me. The perfectionist.

The weight just kept going on and on, no matter how hard I tried and frankly I was prepared to try anything: except eating less and exercising a whole lot. I went to the gym, I took pills, I walked, I got treatment for the thyroid disorder, I sulked. None of it worked.

This is what I look like now:

Scary, huh? Don’t let the kiddies near that before bedtime or they’ll have nightmares. You can see why I avoid cameras and reflective surfaces.

So here are the stats:

I weigh 111kg (got on the scales just then)

I continue to delude myself that I can fit into a size 18 (xxl) but it’s pretty tight under the armpits. 20 is more comfortable.

I take medication for the thyroid disorder and depression. Other than that my health seems to be good. I do not have high blood pressure or cholesterol issues. Despite the large birthweight of my children, I do not have diabetes. Last year, as part of the Oxfam trailwalker, I walked 40kg on a 38C day. The only reason we stopped (the walk was 100km) was chafing. I’d just about chafed the skin off between my thighs. Story of my life, really.

Okay, so this is the plan:

I’ve bought this book

Should get here in the next couple of days. I have to say, already I’m excited about it. You know how it is, you think “this might really be the answer”.

You know, I see all this stuff and I read all the testimonials and I wonder, I really wonder if they truly work. So I’m going to give it a shot. I’m going to be that guinea pig and you can see if it works, too. If it doesn’t, well, the book comes with a money back guarantee, and I’m not scared to capitalise on that if I don’t think it’s worked.

I’m probably going to blog about once a week because I so don’t believe those “I lost 4kg in two days” testimonials. We’ll see how it goes. Wish me luck.

Well, I’m off to get on the treadmill now. See you soon.