Hee hee….I guess most of my blogmates are busy celebrating father’s day with DH & the brood. Well, here’s wishing everybody a teriffic day. Me? Well, I guess this is one of the casualties of matrimonius interruptus, so to speak. AND remarrying someone with no offspring. Oh, my kiddos will stop by later on, undoubtedly, with cards and little gifts for DH - as their much loved step-dad - and DS will call from the west coast later (much later; he worked last night) in the day, but the girls will be taking their bio-dad (kind of reminds me of bio-hazard) out to dinner after church. Along with my son-in-law’s dad, who is a real, honest-to-goodness gem of a man, and if it weren’t for the ex going along, DH & I would most certainly accompany them. But, things are what they are, and so there will be no (or at any rate, very little) “hopping on pop” here today. And none of you need start thinking in any lewd and lascivious directions, either, because I am most certainly not hopping anywhere, and you can take that to the bank. yes indeed. LOL!

Okay, now for the good news! Oh, it’s not all that momentous, but I did finally force myself onto the scale yesterday morning, and have lost another 2.5 pounds. I am indeed pleased, because I haven’t felt like I was “dieting” for months, now, and yet there does seem to be a definite downward progress. Not fast, by any means, but definitely moving downwards, and I am quite happy, for the first time in years and years, with how and what I eat - and the results. For so long, it’s been a matter of eat what I want and steadily GAIN weight, or be miserable eating according to some diet plan and be half-way happy with how I look. Finally - FINALLY - I am eating well, I am happy with what I’m eating, AND I’m steadily losing as opposed to gaining weight. I’m actually beginning to think that maybe by the end of this month I’ll haul out the bathing suit that I invested in last year and try that sucker on (in the privacy of my bedroom; let’s not get too carried away, here…). But wouldn’t it be lovely if during July and August, I could take myself to the beach and actually have my bathing suit on and ENJOY myself instead of wearing a pair of jean shorts over the stupid suit?

In the meantime - more of the same in terms of eating well and exercising (walking) as much as possible. I really admire those of you (Ms. Close - omigawd!) who work out regularly at fitness centers because just the thought of it makes me need a nap. But DH & I have been getting out and trying to stay as active as possible - yesterday was a nice day here in the unpredictable northeast, and we went and did the grocery shopping and then after bringing the stuff home and putting it away, we had a modest lunch and went down to Lake Quinsigamond where we soaked up some vitamin D (VERY good for you, according the Jon Gabriel, eh, feathers?) and walked for 45 minutes in the process. Lovely walk; we really enjoyed it, and plan to go there again soon (except it’s raining today, dangit!). The dirt walking path meanders along the lake, through fields, and into and out of the woods surrounding the lake. Just lovely, really, and yesterday was a little overcast, but sunny-ish and not too hot. Here’s part of the lake (It’s close to five miles long)

and heres part of the walking path:

DH, of course, was born and raised in Texas, while I am a New Englander born and bred, and don’t ask me why my font got smaller after I inserted that last picture because I am also technologically challenged and haven’t a CLUE why it happened or how to fix it. So, if anyone is reading this, now would be the time to go get your glasses or pop in those contacts. Anyway, I raised my kids in Worcester, and many of these places that DH and I are now “rediscovering”, so to speak, are places where my kids and I spent time - Lake Quinsigamond, for example, better known to us locals as Lake “Quinsig” was where their high school rowing teams met, and they played tennis on the public courts at Lake Park, and even put in some beach time there, too. Of course, once the kiddos were grown and off pursuing their own lives, I didn’t have much reason to revisit these places until now, and I’m just now remembering why I did raise my kids here - all the wonderful resources: parks, lakes, recreation, hiking, sports stuff, etc. within city limits - and Worcester is second to Boston, the second largest city in Massachusetts, but so much of it still retains its rural character (the house where my kids grew up was about a ten minute drive from downtown Worcester, but we were on a dead-end street with huge expanses of lawn and shrubs between us and our neighbors, and our backyard bordered on a big forested area.) So, anyway, here I am, with DH, exploring the old haunts and getting in better shape besides. Not a bad way to spend your declining years, eh? Nice, too, with gas prices as high as they are, to be able to find things to do within a two-or three mile radius of home. Speaking of which, it’s now costing me $80 a week at the pumps to drive back & forth to work. SO not optimum! I’m considering making a request at work to telecommute a couple of days a week at least.

Well, it’s getting along after noontime, here, and I’m still in my nightie, I’m afraid. Wet and rainy outside, so we won’t do any walking today. The kids are supposed to be coming by @ 5:00 so I should try to make this place a little tidier.

Hope you’re all having a wonderful day and that you have lovely upcoming weeks, as well!

Hugs,

Z

and a pretty severe thunderstorm last night that took down a lot of tree branches, and in some cases, whole trees in our corner of the world. No, I sure am NOT complaining, considering all those awful midwestern storms - I figure we’re pretty lucky. Lucky, too, that as a result of the storm, it’s somewhat cooler today than it has been. We don’t have central air. One of the disadvantages, I suppose, of living in an older house, but it’s not like we have this abysmal heat year-round, after all. Over the past three/four days, though, it was pretty awful - we had to buy another AC, because the ones we brought from the old house weren’t keeping the whole apartment cool. The kitchen has a powerful ceiling fan, and we didn’t think we needed the AC in there. We were wrong. By Monday, the kitchen was uninhabitable. So yesterday, we got a new AC for the kitchen - just in time for the heat to subside today, anyway. It’s okay, though. We have more haute days ahead of us for sure.

Yellow baloons? Oh. We’re using them at a fundraising event next week - the “strategic decision” to do so was made in a meeting that I was at yesterday. I’m SO not crazy about the idea, but got outvoted. Tsk. Such inanity, I swear. Inanity - and stupidity; such decisions should not be arrived at in a democratic manner. Not when you count the votes of “kids” working here as summer interns, and “kids” working as development “associates”, which means entry-level-here-to-get-experience, right? So, in MY (considerably less than humble, I suppose) opinion, they are not sufficiently experienced to participate in this sort of decision. To baloon, or not to baloon….I mean, that’s lofty stuff. You need a meeting of the board on that one, don’t you? CEO, CFO (after, all, there IS some expense involved), etc., etc. And, hey - this meeting only took up an hour and a half of my otherwise not-terribly-busy (Riiiiiiiight) day - and it sure seems to me that to properly discuss the pros & cons, we needed at least an off-site summit of some sort…half a day, at least! But, in protest, I m spending a little work time here chatting with my bloggies. If they can keep me in a meeting about yellow baloons (Okay, and a FEW other things as well) then it’s obvious that what I am doing with my time is pretty flexible, eh? So I’m flexing.

Did I mention the heat over the past four days? Brutal, but in a nice sort of way. The weekend was pretty decent. Oh, hot (haute), yes, but enjoyable if pretty laid-back. Planted a couple of varieties of tomatoes, red & green peppers and some gladiola bulbs, watched a few movies, and then, on Sunday, went to a revolutionary war battle re-enactment over in the next town. There were encampments of British troops and patriots on either side of the town common, and we did a lot of walking around and chatting with the re-enactors, although we missed the battle which was held on Saturday while we were planting our tomatoes and such. (Good idea to plant our own, considering the salmonella scare, eh?). It was really interesting and fun, and when we left there, we went to a local beach (lake), set up our little beach chairs and soaked up a little more vitamin D before going home. Nice. Unexciting, but pleasant.

DH is going to be officially retired as of August 27, which is when he turns 62. Turns out you can file for your retirement benefits 3 months before you reach 62, so he did. As of right now, he’s still collecting unemployment benefits, and will be through July. Those of you who have known me for awhile may recall that he got fired last November from his job as a software engineer for a big hospital complex in Manchester, NH. This was after having worked there for seven years with regular rave reviews, regular peformance-based pay raises, and no indication whatsoever that they were going to fire him until a few months after his 60th birthday, when they hired a new guy - a guy in his forties - had DH *train* him, and then shortly thereafter, put DH on a 90-day “performance improvement plan”? (What?) No specific complaints, mind you, and no specific goals & objectives - just a “performance improvement” plan (or non-plan, actually). Ironically, despite there being no identified goals or objectives, they told him after 90 days that he had “satisfactorily” completed the performance improvement plan. (Huh? What did he do?) THEN, a month or so after that, he was called in by the department head (a hospital VP) and summarily fired. Needless to say, the *new guy* that he had trained now has his job. The hospital didn’t dispute DH’s unemployment claim, which they probably should have done - just to establish that they fired him for poor performance or something. But they didn’t, so it’s been documented that he was fired through no fault of his own , which leans pretty heavily in the direction of age-ism (ya THINK???). So, we filed an age-discrimination complaint, knowing that 90% of them get screened out by the Commission Against Discrimination and go nowhere. Well, guess what! They didn’t screen it out, and they sent a notice of complaint to the hospital, and the hospital has to respond by July 8. Now, DH has applied for some jobs, but let’s face, it, nobody is really going to hire a 62-year-old software engineer; not when they can get a much younger one for about half the money, right? So, he’s retiring early, which is okay, except that he’ll have to find SOMETHING to do - some kind of gainful employment - just so that he doesn’t drive himself (or me) crazy. (And so that we’ll have the money to continue with our lavish lifestyle….LOL. Not!!!!)

Eating: Truly terrible weekend, I’m afraid. Not that I ate anything outrageous - in fact, don’t have anything that qualifies as outrageous in the house, anymore. BUT, there IS such a thing as “too much of a good thing” and FOUR (yup - 4 !!!) WW Ice cream sandwiches in one day, along with your regular meals, is just plain overdoing it. I also ate a couple of peanut butter sandwiches, and while peanut butter is one of those wonderful MUFA’s that everyone is talking about nowadays, the fact remains that it has a high calorie and fat content (even if it IS of the mono-unsaturated variety!) Of course now that it’s cooler, (and we have a new AC in there) maybe I can turn my oven on again, and maybe bake some chicken and a sweet potato or something. Sweet potatoes seem to satisfy my need for something *sweet* and after having one, I don’t even need my WW ice cream sandwich.

Phyl, I don’t understand why, when I click on your name (on your comments to my blog) nothing happens. With all the others, clicking on their names takes me to their blogs. Wish I knew more about this techno-stuff, but in the meantime, I’m just watching for your blog to appear on the blog-list (which it will do whenever you post). I hope the worst of the storms passed you by. <hugs>

So, that’s about it for moi. Wishing all of you special ones (you know who you are)happy & healthy days…

Hugs,

Z

Anyone remember Paul Simon’s “Rene and Georgette Magritte with Their Dog After the War”? Now that man can WRITE a song, and that’s the truth. Magritte is my youngest daughter’s middle name.  Her first name is Dana. Magritte means “my little girl”, which is what she will always be, even now that she has her own little girl, whose broken wing, incidentally, is healing nicely. No surgery. Children are so much more resilient that we old ones, don’t you know? But, “after the war”, indeed. Is there actually such a place? Such a time? I do mourn for the state of humanity sometimes. Oftentimes, actually. Then, of course, being the emotional - and I suppose, basically happy - creature that I am, something or somebody comes along with an idea or thought or pleasantry that cheers me up considerably. The decades really DO glide by - like native Americans? LOL. All this political correctness. Every native American I know (and I know a few) calls him/herself an “Indian”. Probably not even with a capital “i”. One thing people sure do enjoy in this world is their differences. We are all, to some degree or other, proud of the culture that raised us, and to varying degrees, distrustful of all those that didn’t. Instead of feeling pride in our own accomplishments, much of humanity finds it less challenging to simply rest on the laurels, so to speak, of their ancestry, their culture, their country…we are all, when it comes right down to it, tribal by nature. Protective of our borders. Don’t want too many of “THOSE people” coming in and taking us over - taking our jobs, taking our homes and taking over our neighborhoods. Nope - I’m not going to engage in a diatribe about immigration here, but the older I get, the more absurd all of this seems. Maybe I’m just evolving to a more global outlook in preparation for my incipient “graduation” to the next level of existence, but these things do trouble me. I can’t deny that. Our need to acquire more than we need in life, and then fight - and make laws - so that we can keep it all, and by golly, acquire some more if we can! I will never forget being stuck in traffic just outside of Miami a few years back - stuck beneath a highway overpass - there was a stretch limo in front of us, and one in back of us. One, as well, to either side of us. We were literally boxed in by wealth and affluence, and about three feet from the traffic, on the side of the road on a dusty piece of dirt, were at least twenty homeless folks living in cardboard cartons. I don’t imagine that whoever was behind the tinted glass windows of those limos even noticed what they were sitting next to. Never even noticed that three feet away from them were people - human beings like themselves - with noplace to live while they, no doubt had trouble deciding WHICH residence they wanted to stay in THIS month. These people - these oil comany executives, these huge government contractors, these wheelers and dealers (or sons and daughters, grandsons and granddaughters of wheelers and dealers) glide by and through life - not like Indians, no - but like great luxury boats on a sea of tiny rowboats, not caring how many of those little boats get capsized in their wake. Hah! Ever the social commentator, eh? You can take the youth and passion out of the woman, but you can’t take the woman out of the mindset. People today envision America, the land of the free (etc., etc.) enduring forever. To most, it’s incomprehensible that the country could fail, and yet history documents many great civilizations that endured far longer than we have been in existence - and are now no more than overgrown ruins. George Bush hasn’t single-handedly brought us to ruin, but he has certainly hastened the process, and that’s a fact. I somewhat guardedly share Anniegirl’s enthusiasm over Obama’s win, but I do fear that we’ve deteriorated farther than he - or anyone else - can fix.

BUT, having released all of my doom and gloom for the moment, let me relate some GOOD news for a change. :-)  DH’s doctor declared him to be pre-diabetic about three months ago, and sent him to a nutritionist and advised him to lose twenty pounds. He immediately started eating exclusively what I eat (for example: when we used to have baked sweet potatoes, he would slather his with real butter - and lots of it, while I sprayed mine with a butter-flavored olive oil-based spray.) He switched to the spray, started dressing his salads with just lemon juice instead of the Bleu Cheese dressing that he used to love, and cut way back on red meat (I hardly cook red meat anymore) just to name a few changes. And, of course, you know that he and I have made a commitment to exercise and walking as much as we possibly can. So, he had a new set of lab tests done a week ago, and had an appointment with his doctor on Tuesday of this week. The lab results were all LOW/normal, and he’s lost seventeen pounds to boot! I mean, how amazing is that? (Plus, feathers, we have incorporated a lot of the Gabriel Method into our lifestyle - including the occasional sprint during our walks and the visualization stuff. So, thanks for the referral!) He came home absolutely delighted with the progress, thanking me for the way I cook for him, and thrilled that he doesn’t have diabetes looming over his head anymore. Really excellent, yes?

And I, of course, continue to plug along, dropping only ounces at a time, and mourning my inability to fit into those old shorts of mine. I feel sad that I’ve allowed myself to get to where I feel “good” about getting into a size 12. There was a time, long, looong ago in a place very much like this place and a time very much like this time, when I thought size 10’s were “large”. Hah! If I’d only known then what I know now, I would’ve enjoyed myself way more, and that’s the truth. Anyway, that’s the introduction that DH uses when he tells stories to the kids - “There was a time, long, looong ago…etc., etc. I always love it when he starts one of his stories. The kids sit around him in a circle with rapt expressions on their faces, hanging on every word… neat, you know?

So, gray and wet in these here parts today, but predictions are for a haute weekend. (I just LOVE haute weekends!) I plan to do some more planting. I bought a gorgeous pot the other day - huge; at least 2 feet high, and with a beautiful design etched into the clay and then glazed unevenly so that it’s rough and old looking. I have just the plant for it, and just the place for it out in my garden. AND we shall do some walking, and perhaps a cook-out if the kids feel like it. Maybe we’ll throw something for ourselves on the grille if they’re going to be busy.

Another hour here at work (and my little self-imposed mental-health break is over; I gotta get back at it) and then home again, home again, jiggety jig. Yay, huh?

Love,

Z

Well, here I am - back at work yet one more time. I try - oh, how I try - to tell myself how fortunate I am to have a decent job when so many others are out of work in this country, but frankly, it’s difficult to muster up much enthusiasm at 5:30 on Monday morning. In fact, I’d be hard put to come up with much enthusiasm until, oh, roundabout Wednesday afternoon, I’d say. And then, the enthusiasm is about having made it half-way through the week, not about how much I love my job for gawd’s sake! ANYWAY, it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood and immediately after eating my Healthy Choice chicken and something-or-other panini for 300 calories, I’m going outside to soak up a few rays. Oh, I just can’t get enough sun, you know? We went to a street art festival yesterday at @ noontime, stayed there walking from booth to booth for a couple of hours, and then stopped by Home Depot for a new plant pot for my spider-baby which is now at least a foot tall, and outgrowing it’s eensy little pot. I was disgusted, to be perfectly honest. An 8′ diameter pot was $24.99. Maybe you-all are used to paying such exhorbitant prices, but please keep in mind that I came of age in the late sixties and raised my kids in the late seventies, through the eighties and nineties. (They were spaced pretty far apart). But I mean, sometimes the prices of simple damned things that you know have about ten cents worth of actual material in them - not to mention that they were most likely made in some foreign sweatshop where workers are given twenty-five cents a day and their pay is docked to cover the cost of their broken-down dormitory rooms - and here’s Home Depot (or WalMart, or Target, or wherever) making 99.9% profit or more - well, I mean, it’s just not to be tolerated or supported. It makes no sense. So, needless to say, I refused to buy a new pot, and am now tring to figure out what to put my spider in before it gets potbound. But, all of that aside, we left Home Depot (with me feeling foul and doing a bit of ranting and raving, I’m afraid) and stopped at the market to pick up a few last-minute things for my DD’s cook-out. I parboiled a great batch of chicken wings on Saturday evening and had the things marinating in buffalo wing sauce all night long. But, I also committed to making a big tossed salad because everyone loves my salads since DH and I became so much more healthy with our eating and all - now I add all sorts of lovely ingredients, and my salads are phenomenal! Enough of blowing my own horn, though - we did our grocery stop and then headed home for the wings and to make the salad. The cook-out was really nice; very laid-back - just my two local DD’s and their husbands and one child apiece. DD30 IS working on having another one as I think I mentioned previously in this here blog, but so far, no progress on that front. We really had a long discussion, though - about the usual, of course. Politics, religion, family relationships, current events (family, country, world) - and Dh and I didn’t manage to get home to bed until nearly 10:00, which wasn’t optimum for me getting up at 5:30. Of course he always gets up about ten minutes before me to make the coffee and feed the cats, so it’s not like he gets to sleep in. (I betcha he took a nap this morning, though!) Now I was planning to just have a Boca burger with FF cheese on a whole wheat bun and a huge big plate of salad at the cook-out, but the burgers that DD made just got the best of me, and I ended up having one, along with three chicken wings AND and an  ice cream cone-thing that I was thoroughly amazed to discover had only 150 calories to the 140 calories in our WW ice cream sandwiches! But, eating that stupid burger - and the ice cream, I suppose - ended up making me hungry LATER, so I had a WW ice cream when we got home. I don’t think I went anywhere near over my calorie count for the day, but it sure felt like it.

Now I’m yawning like crazy. Guess I’ll go heat up my panini and catch a little sun.

TTFN,

Hugs,

Z

 This is the beginning of our hike (above), and here is the stream where I took my blood-numbing, but mercifully short dip:

Glorious, yes? And probably even more so for those of us who are urban dwellers whose only exposure to “nature” consists of our own rather small yards and public parks. Now, mind you, I just love the White Mountains in summer, but the thought of actually living up there during winter isn’t nearly so appealing. The roads getting to this lovely retreat of ours are narrow and winding, with gravel shoulders that one wouldn’t want to stray onto - even in good weather, because you’d undoubtedly be sent arse over teakettle into the scrub brush. Winter storms tend to interrupt the electrical service, too - and I know I would take well to not having my “Mister Coffee” perked coffee first thing every morning. SO, lovely place, love going there, but could never, ever consider staying up there year round.

I was back at work today - whooohoooo - and encountered the same old, same old, of course. Nothing unusual or unexpected, and the day somehow managed to get itself over with before I became too frustrated and miserable. Looks like I can manage one more day - and then the weekend! YESSS!

I’m feeling hungry for some reason. I was pretty discouraged over those shorts not fitting; you’d think it would’ve been enough to “put me off my feed” so to speak, for a good while, but no - here I am, all finished with supper (stir-fry made with faux-chicken strips, Jamaican jerk marinade, onions, red & green peppers, cubes of sweet potato and fresh brocolli. Served it over brown rice) and I’m still hungry. I’m putting off having my WW ice cream sandwich for as long as I can because I have a feeling it’s not going to satisfy me completely, and my only recourse, really, is to eat it and get myself to bed before I start eating anything else.

Plus, I’m pretty tired and need to be up early. I’ll have my bath in the morning; I’m just plumb worn out tonight. Feel almost like I could close my eyes and fall asleep right here where I’m sitting.

Keep up the good work, y’all - y’know we really ARE doing this weight-loss thing! We need to give ourselves a pat on the back, don’t you think?

((((((((((((((US)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Hugs,

Z

Home again, jiggedy-jig….. and I am sooooooo glad that I took today as a vacay day, too! Even the thoughts of going back to work tomorrow are somewhat unsavory, but if I’d had to go back today, I would’ve been dismally depressed and disgusted. (Probably disenchanted, too. Possibly disoriented and definitely disorganized and emotionally and mentally devastated.) Looks like that’s it for the “d-words”. Maybe I’ll think of some more later? Hmmmm. Soooo. It was actually quite a wonderful getaway. We got up there Saturday morning somewhere around 11:30-ish - just in time to meet up with everyone for the lunch gathering, which was great fun. Greeting and hugging and catching up and chattering and sharing stories, etc. Then, time to unpack, bathe, and get dressed for the evening get-together, with more of the same chatter as at lunch, but with some smatterings of entertainment - a drumming group that was magnificent, and then lots of impromptu performances - story-telling, a song or two, a few poems recited and a flute solo (all performed by members of our odd little group, of course). Finally, off to bed in the wee hours of the morning, up on Sunday a little late, but in time to do the hike, which was wonderful, and back for a late afternoon lunch, more gathering and chattering, another evening get-together - this time outdoors around a huge campfire (much bug spray needed) with conversations ranging from politics to spirituality to quantum physics to hexayurt building (one of our friends just won an award for his hexayurt design - emergency and long-term self-contained shelters for disaster victims and minimalists of all kinds) and everything in between. Then, of course, there were the individual visits and chats - good, nutritious non-junk type foods, and lots of music, laughter, and love. Quite, quite wonderful, including, even, the QUICK dip in a COOOOLD mountain stream that left my skin blue and goose-bumped. But, I did acquire a bit of color otherwise, and outside of a few bug bites, am feeling quite refreshed and renewed. I do need to wash my hair this morning. Sat in my lovely claw-footed tub for over an hour after we got home last night. The facilities up at the retreat are a tad primitive - showers but no tubs, I’m afraid. I needed my soak.

Today is wonderfully lazy and non-productive. I’m still sitting her in my nightie. Not much to worry about doing today. Need to bring in a few more things from DH’s car, and go drop off the throwaway camera that I took pictures with over the weekend. No people, I’m afraid - just scenery; I forgot about the camera until the very last minute and since we were the last to haul out of there, I ran around snapping pictures as DH packed the last of the stuff in the car. We don’t take the digital camera on little jaunts such as this because DH needs it for his art catalogues and such, and we really wouldn’t want to have to replace it if it got damaged or forgotten somewhere along the way. Anyway, if any of them came out half-decent, I’ll post them.

Oh, I may just have myself a nap. I just thought of another “d” word - decadent. That’s what I’m feeling today - lazy and decadent - and I’ve gotta say, there’s a LOT to be said for sheer, unadulterated decadence. I feel like a cat lazing about here this morning. It’s wonderful.

I didn’t go very far off-plan (eating plan, that is) while away, but I still have to really dig my heels in and get this last ten pounds or so off ASAP. I’m still not thrilled with my less-than (or should I say MORE than) optimum body mass. I WANT TO BE THIN, damnit! THIN - not “average”, not “perfectly alright”, but THIN! THIN, THIN, THIN! Oh, how I can identify with those of you who have, at various times, wished for instant results - expressed your impatience with the whole damned process of weight loss. That would describe me, as well - and especially this morning, because I brought a pair of jean shorts up to the mountains with me that I remember wearing a few years ago, and thought surely they’d slide right on me now (I don’t know the size - the tag has long since faded into oblivion) but they DON’T! They were TOO TIGHT!!!!!! Talk about your “downers”, people! SO here I am this morning, determined yet again to lose yet MORE weight, and wishing for some magic pill that would dissolve away ten pounds by tomorrow morning! This is SO not fair!

But…oooooooohhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm. I need to try to maintain a calm state of mind. Agitation doesn’t help with weight loss, after all. And, I was feeling pretty mellow until I thought about those freaking shorts!

Well, off to wash my hair, maybe have a nap, and do as little as I can possibly get away with for the rest of the day.

I’ve missed you, my jewels - I hope this finds you all contented and well.

Hugs,

Z

Oh, isn’t this just glorious? Picture me standing on that flat rock to the right in the foreground in my EMS shorts and with a walking stick in my hand. Real “Old Lady of the Mountain” stuff, eh? I have to tell you that I am REALLY looking forward to getting up there! I especially love it at night when the stars seem almost close enough to reach up and grab out of the sky - everything is so clear and fresh and clean. I have just one more meeting tomorrow morning - up on the north shore of Massachusetts (up where the rich folks stay) - and then we’ll be free to start packing DH’s SUV and have everything ready for an early morning getaway on Saturday. The weather predictions are all in our favor, and I expect to come home with a little healthy color in my cheeks and a spring to my step that hasn’t been there up til’ now. Well, the truth is that I DO have a little color that came from my gardening on Mother’s day with the offspring, and then some walks and a little more planting since then. I know that we women “of a certain age” are really supposed to avoid exposure to the sun, but I don’t think it’s really possible for me to do that. I love it far too much. And, if the price is a few extra wrinkles, than so be it.

This week has been a tough one to get through - mostly because the last place I want to be is at work. Eating has been fine - no *off-plan* binges, although at this stage, I’m not entirely sure what *off-plan* would be, since I’m mostly just eating what I enjoy, and luckily, I’ve developed a real taste for “live” foods and nutritious ones - I can’t say that I’m not occasionally tempted by the stray thought of a nice hunk of nuts and chocolate (something out of a Godiva box, maybe?) but I don’t crave it, and wouldn’t bother buying it. Tonight I’m making us our beloved flatbread (lavash bread - 100 calories for a HUGE rectangle, and 5 grams of fiber!) pizzas. Taco-style tonight. I’m using Morningstar faux meat (soy) crumbles with taco seasoning, diced onions, red & green peppers, and sliced black olives. I use the Contadina squeeze pizza sauce, put that sparingly over a piece of lavash bread, then cover that with a thin layer of fat-free mozarella cheese. Then the taco “meat” and thin slices of pepper & onion, topped off with some sliced black olives to give it a little curb appeal, so to speak. A quick 10-minutes in a 325 oven, and voila! Yum!

My allergies (?) are still trying to ruin my life, which I have no intentions of allowing them to do. I’m hearing that this is a bad, bad year for pollen, but it seems to me I’ve been hearing that every year, now, for at least the last five or so. I’m taking OTC allergy meds, anything that helps, however briefly. And yes, I should probably give the doctor another shot at figuring it out, but I swear they are so dense; sometimes feels to me like I know more than they do, and you know how dangerous an attitude like that can be, eh? I may (or may not) have mentioned before that my mother, with whom I had an extremely adversarial relationship from the day I exited her womb (honest! It’s true!), was a registered nurse, and her pals were all doctors & nurses, and she entertained them fairly regularly with get-togethers at our house. Now I know for certain that they were not necessarily representative of the entire medical profession, but as the old saying goes, “once bitten, twice shy”, and for me, personally, the farther I can stay from hospitals, doctors and the medical community in general, the happier I am. And it’s entirely possible that there may come a time when I simply don’t have much choice in the matter, but while I still DO have a choice, I choose not to be bothered. Apologies in advance to any who happen to be members of the aforesaid community; I’m sure that YOU are wonderful, upstanding citizens and smart as hell.

I need to stop on my way home tonight to pick up a few pieces of weekend gear.

And, through the magic of internet technology, here I am, sitting in front of my very own computer in my very own house, have picked up the weekend gear referenced in the previous sentence, changed into my “comfy” clothes, and am “unwinding a bit” before getting started on the pizzas, which I shall do fairly soon because I’m beginning to feel pretty hungry.

I was rather miffed at one of the “higher ups” when I left work today. The man is such a pompous idiot, and worse, he is a pompous idiot who has nothing whatsoever to be pompous about because he is so damned inefficient and stupid. Of course this organization doesn’t even get rid of it’s stupidest “higher ups” - they just transfer them someplace else, which is what they’re doing with him in another month. Anyway, he had spoken with a funder on the telephone several weeks back (don’t ask me how she got put through to him) and he transferred her to his admin. asst. who knew to refer her to me. So, she called me, left me a voicemail while I was on vacay hanging out with my DS, and when I got back, I called and left HER a voicemail. Then, she sent me an email indicating that she’d spoken to the “higher up”, been referred to his admin. asst., and finally given my name, and that she would like to work with me on creating an endowment for one of our programs. So, naturally, I told her I’d be happy to help her set it up, and that she should email me what info she needed and I would get it for/to her. So, a couple of things she needed needed to come out of this particular “higher up’s” office, and when I sent HIM and email asking for them FOR this particular funder, he acted like he didn’t know what I was talking about; acted like he’d never heard of her, and didn’t undertand why we should release the information to her. SO, I had to forward the ORIGINAL email to him (copied the CEO and everyone else I could think of) where she said she’d talked to HIM, and he’d turned her over to his admin asst. (which, incidentally, was inappropriate, and everybody knows that). I said (in the forwarded email) that I hoped this would clear things up for him. Then I left, not to return again until next Thursday. Bleeechhh!!!!

I can leave later than usual in the AM, and get home earlier than usual. Not a bad deal, eh? I think DD30 is planning to come over tomorrow evening for a while, and then I’ll have a nice bath, wash my hair, and get myself to bed so we can be up and on the road good and early. Yay!

Okay, Now I’m really hungry.

Love to my beautiful net of jewels…

Hugs,

Z

Very ethereal-looking outside my office window today. Since we are diagonally across from “the castle”, which was, in Boston’s early colonial days, a fortress of some sort, one might almost imagine a foggy day in London. But I keep expecting to see whispy bits of ectoplasmic wraiths floating along, dressed, undoubtedly, in Patriot’s garb and carrying trusty (or not so) Revolutionary War rifles…blunderbusses, or some such early weaponry. And of course a colonial lass or two, perhaps with a few muddy offspring trailing in her wake.

Ah, well. So much for times past and gone.  Sufficient unto the day are the struggles therein. Or some such. DS is safely back in southern California. They had a 45 minute layover in Cinncinnati which turned into an overnight when their connecting flight was cancelled because of mechanical problems. Delta. So much for choosing one of the more dependable carriers, eh? Well, at least they were put up in a hotel and given a (miniscule) food allowance. They were extremely glad to get home, though, finally, on Saturday morning. I was glad to HEAR that they’d made it home safely.

It was lovely, having him home. But this time, I think, it really hit me that my *little* boy is all grown up with a life of his own, and no longer dependent on “Momma”. Wow. You can’t imagine what a revelation that was! I mean, honestly, up until now, I’ve always thought of him as a “kid” - but he isn’t. He’s a real, bona fide grown up. Scary, eh?

Well, scary - but kinda nice, as well. My kiddos have turned out alright. They really have. I just can’t wrap my mind around where all those years went. There’s a lot to be said for remaining in the moment - old Ram Dass, and his “be here now” philosophy. We’ve got to squeeze every last bit of enjoyment out of every minute with each other, because these minutes - and days, and months and years - pass very quickly.

Well, either my allergies are kicking up a storm, or I’ve got some other nefarious flu bug or virus because I’ve had a sore - REALLY SORE - throat and dry cough and clogged-up sinuses since yesterday, and am feeling like ka-ka, quite frankly. So am I staying home from work? Oh, of COURSE not. Another day, another deadline, I always say. I’m home now, though. (I started this at work this morning, but didn’t have a chance to finish it). The sun, ultimately, did show it’s face for a while this afternoon, which made me inordinately happy - happier than I was, anyway. I can go for several hours without experiencing any major symptoms (just this scartchiness in my throat and general fatigue, and then in the blink of an eye, my nose clogs, my eyes water, I cough & sneeze and feel like a wrung-out dishrag, and then it passes and I’m okay again for a while. Well, all I can say is that I’d BETTER recover by Friday, because I have no intentions of missing our little getaway in the mountains with all of our strange (and wonderful) friends. I am in dire need of a dose of those eccentric professors, mad scientists, warped physicists and playful poets. I need a good debate. I can feel the pressure building. I’d prefer being a little skinnier than I have managed to get (what with the shameless gorging I engaged in from time to time while DS was here) but in the final analysis, I have to say I just flat out don’t care. I yam what I yam, and all that. That’s ONE thing I don’t intend to stress out over this coming weekend. All I want to do is relax, unwind, chat, holler a bit maybe ;)  and enjoy myself. Hah! If I want to, I can dress myself in multi-layers like some sort of wood nymph and cover anything I don’t care to display in brilliant costume, for which I shall be complimented and fawned over. Oh, okay, Maybe not fawned over, and maybe someone will say, “No EMS for the Zoe, I see…” (Eastern Mountain Sports - it’s one of those stores that sell outdoor gear and khaki shorts with a dozen pockets, etc. I have them in khaki, loden and camoflage… ) and express their concern that my layers of brown and green chiffon, while indeed fetching, may prove chilly once the sun sets - it isn’t fully summer yet, after all…

I have made two lovely new meals for us over the past two days. The first is a recipe I found on the ‘net at some diet site I think - anyway, it has Thai elements, I think. I used the *Smart* pasta thin spaghetti - cooked it and then tossed it with shrimp in a sauce made with peanut butter, chopped scallions, thinly sliced red bell peppers and red pepper flakes. It was to DIE for. I used to buy the great big jumbo shrimp to make any sort of recipe like this, but would cut the shrimp into manageable pieces. Now that the jumbos are $13.99 a pound, I’ve been getting the medium/larges for $6.99 a pound. They taste every bit as good, and I don’t have to cut them up. What was I THINKING before? A half pound is plenty for DH and I, so it turns out to be quite an economical meal for the two of us.

Tonight I made a stir fry with *pretend* (soy) chicken strips. I cubed a sweet potato, left the skin on, and started that cooking in a skillet with some olive oil. After it had been cooking for about ten minutes, I added celery and some sliced carrots. I covered it for about ten minutes and then uncovered it and added good-sized chunks of red pepper, green pepper, onion, and the faux chicken slices. I added maybe half a small bottle of adobo marinade that DH picked up at the market - 20 calories in two tablespoons and no fat. It was a little spicy, but the stir fry turned out delicioso! I served it over brown rice. I think MAYBE the next time I make it, I’ll add some fresh pineapple chunks. I think they’d be a nice complement to the spiciness of the sauce and the texture of the vegetables.

I’m glad that DH is fairly adventurous about what he eats, because I do enjoy messing around with new dishes, and I have to admit that they don’t all always come out so great. They’re always perfectly edible, just not always somethiong we can’t wait to try again. These two dishes are definitely on our “do again” list though. I’m even thinking the peanut butter noodle one would be good, too, with the faux chicken slices instead of shrimp. Also might want to try adding some sliced black olives?

I STILL haven’t gotten on the scale! Can you believe it? I think I’ve developed quite a phobia over it. I don’t feel like I’m actually dieting, anymore. I just know that I’m cooking very differently these days, and don’t seem to have much desire for sweets and all that starchy bread and such that I used to love so much. I still think some of these things TASTE good, but I don’t crave them a bit. Of course, maybe it’s just old age - maybe my body just can’t handle all that it used to. <shrug> I dunno.  

Okay, off to bed for moi…I’m starting to stuff up sitting here and I need to take my medicine and make myself prone.

Hugs to all,

Z

Nope, I don’t like it any better, even after a break. In fact, I like it even LESS after a break than I did before a break. Sadly, I don’t think I’d like to be retired, either. I think DH would get on my nerves horribly, and I’m sure I’d get on his. So, I need to be at work. Not to mention that my income is now the main income in the house, and if I were to retire early, we’d be able to pay our bills. Just. No extras. Not really. I doubt that I’d find that very appealing. And, if the economy gets much worse, with groceries going through the roof, gas prices skyrocketing, and companies closing down left and right, even paying for basic neccessities could prove a strain. No, I need to continue working for multiple reasons, so I probably ought to try liking it a bit better. I wasn’t minding the thought of coming back to work after this week off with DS. I really wasn’t. We’ve been romping and running all over the place, staying up way past my bedtime, and by yesterday, the thoughts of sitting in my nice, quiet office all by myself all day was really quite appealing. Then, one of my colleagues - the fellow who is more my “partner in crime” than anyone else here - suggested that I join him and the head of our P.R. firm for lunch. Foolishly, I agreed. The conversation was geared to how to best “cultivate” a big giving prospect, and I found it utterly annoying and crass. How to make somebody feel like their money is going to serve a worthy purpose, and that *we* can be relied upon to see that it’s put to good use. Better use than anyone else might put it. Bleeecccchhhh.

This man is the “manager” of his family’s money. Literally billions of dollars, spread out over several generations of family members, very few of whom have done anything even minutely worthwhile with their lives, other than to turn their money over to this relative a graduate of the Harvard Business School - to be invested and and grown for them. The money originated with an ancestor who built a fortune in shoe factories on the north shore - back in the early 19th century, when lower class women and children could be locked into factories and forced to work 12 hour days for a few cents a day. As far as I’m concerned, this family ought to be giving far more away than they do; generation after generation has enjoyed lives of wealth and privilege - playing tennis and sailing at their country clubs, going on world tours, being waited on hand and foot, living in veritable palaces and summering in 50-room “cottages” in Newport -

 while the lower classes were worked to death in their factories, churning out the merchandise that allowed the wealthy to live their F. Scott Fitzgeraldian lives.

 Seems to me that they owe the lower classes far more than they’re giving them, and the very idea that their charity has to be “cultivated” leaves a sour taste in my mouth. (Which of course helps with the dieting, so there is that…)

Of course, this is not the place for me to rant about the class struggles in the United States, or to lambaste a system that STILL exploits the poor in order to serve the rich, but I can say, can’t I - that it makes me so mad that I CAN’T eat???? Which, is, of course, a good thing considering that I am trying to lose some weight here, so what am I complaining about, right? Maybe I should write a new diet book: “Losing Your Appetite as a Social Protest”.

Okay, enough of that. DS will fly back *home* to L.A. tomorrow afternoon at 5:25 out of Providence, R.I. I’ll leave Boston at 2:00, get back to Worcester by 3:00, take him to the airport with my DD, and then we’ll both sob together all the way home.

This weekend will be a relatively quiet one, which we probably all need at this point.

Then, the following Friday, DH & I will be heading up to the White Mountains, which I am really looking forward to. I love hanging about in shorts and T-shirts and philosophizing and debating and what-have-you. I am SO ready to just relax and let it all hang out.

I need to remember to bring a camera this time.

Have a great day, my jewels,

Z

Well. It’s been quite a week, I must say. Or an almost-week. Since last Tuesday. Just a few more days to go. <sigh> It’s been (and is - we still have a couple more days. I mustn’t start missing DS until he’s actually gone, after all) SO lovely having him here. I do miss that boy so when he’s all those miles away in California. Yesterday was really quite terrific. We all had a huge brekkie together, and then everyone (except DH & I) were off to church. The children still attend their father’s church, which is where I brought them quite faithfully when they were growing up, but I’m afraid that my life experience has led me to a less than positive view of religious organizations in general, and I simply cannot do the church scene any longer. Add to that the fact that their father, whom I divorced because of his constant and consistent philandering (I just LOVE that word) some thirteen or so years ago, is still a trustee and deacon there. So, even if I were likely to go to church, it wouldn’t be that one. But for the kids, it’s their “church home”. Many of the same women who were there teaching their Sunday school lessons, leading their children’s choir, serving their little plates at the church suppers are now the church elders, and it’s like having multiple grandparents, I suppose. I know it’s not about choosing their father over me because they have a very limited sort of relationship with him. He was always out in the community posturing and playacting, and had little time for them. Now, they have very little time for him, and his current spouse, whom I’ve met several times, is a rather inane and simple woman. Her virtues include ownership of a big house on the immediate outskirts of Boston in one of the posh bedroom communities where, up until a year or so ago, a tool shed would’ve sold for a million dollars. Not so now, of course - now that property values are plummeting all over the country, but no matter. Enough said on that subject. The kids all went to church.

DH actually had to be up in New Hampshire for a storytelling performance, so while all my chicks were at church, I took a long, relaxing and rejuvenating Mother’s Day bath in that big old tank of a bathtub of mine and then gave myself a lovely pedicure, did a mud mask on my face, and read the latest Harlan Coben novel.

When the kids got home, everyone changed their clothes and came out with me to do yard work. Yep. When they asked me what I wanted to *do* for Mother’s day, they were undoubtedly anticipating dinner out at a restaurant (no cooking; no cleaning up) or, perhaps not, knowing me as they do. I wanted the yard - back & front - terraced with paving stone paths, shrubs, seating arrangements and flower beds, but no grass. We have a stone wall in front, and the lawn slopes upwards to the house. I bought some forsythia and lilac bushes the other day, and the kids all bought bushes and urns and flats and mulch and such, and we worked outdoors from 1:30 until 7-ish. There was me, my son, my two son-in-laws, my two daughters, and my granddaughter (7) with the broken wing, and grandson (6).

We shoveled and raked, mulched and put down pavers, planted shrubs and flower beds, had a grand old time exercising, enjoying the sun, and working some muscles that haven’t been worked in a while. Me, at least. And today I feel like a creaky and achey old woman, but it was worth it. It looks so lovely - and as the bushes grow and the flowers spread, it’s going to be wonderful out there.

DD30 & I went to the market at @ 7:00 and picked up loads of cold cuts from the deli, wheat rolls and cibatta breads, lettuce, tomato, chips, cookies, etc., etc., and we all had (BIG) sandwiches (many of us had more than one, but not me) and sat around visiting and admiring our efforts and each other well into the evening. A most gratifying day. Oh, and on top of all the work and various and sundry plants and urns and other outdoor stuff, I was also given several very *me* pieces of clothing that I shall wear with great enjoyment, and a plethora of cards. I, of course, bought my girls gifts as well. They are wonderful mothers to their little chicks, and it’s only right that their mother should acknowledge and praise them for that.

DS will be, I’m convinced, watching him with his little neice and nephew, a wonderful dad someday. And that feels like a HUGE achievement, considering the poor parenting he got from his father. I am always so gratified and happy to see my children working together, playing together, and just plain loving each other the way that they do. Theirs is a life-long bond that will serve them well as the years pass, their children grow up and they pass into middle and old age. Family ties are, I think, so critical to having happy, fulfilled lives. DD30 and her DH let us know, too, that they’ve decided to try for another baby. Little (broken-winged) Morgan is seven, now, and that’s quite an age gap already with a new little chicklet, but DD30 and my middle girl are seven years apart, and just as close as they can be with each other, and with DS, who is 4 years younger than DD30. So, I’m sure it will all work out just fine. I, of course, am jumping for joy, as I’ve long wanted a new little grandbaby in the family, and had begun to despair of ever having another one. DS and his girlfriend seem very far from that kind of commitment yet. ANYWAY, DD30 and her DH have been waiting until they could “afford” another child, which, as most of you know, never will happen. They’ve finally decided that they have enough savings to see them through - some of you know that DD30’s DH is a Boston high school teacher, and DD30 is a social worker. Both have good, steady jobs with decent benefits, but will certainly never be materially rich. But enough with all that - hopefully, we’ll have another baby on the way soon, and I just can’t wait!!!!!

Today, DS and my middle DD (the one who owns this house) are heading down to Ikea to do a little fun shopping. I love their marketplace, and DD is looking for a coffee and end tables (maybe) for the new, very expensive couch, two chairs and ottoman that she bought on Saturday. (Oddly, she likes to furniture shop with her brother - trusts his taste over her own AND her DH’s.)

Tomorrow I have to go back to work. Bah, phooey! DS extended his stay until Friday, but I can’t take anymore time now because I’ll need it for later in the summer and fall. I’m thinking to go out to L.A. maybe in October, and we’re going down to NC to visit with my sister in August, up with our White Mountains group for three or four extended weekends and probably at least one full week, and I need to *save* a week for unexpected possibilities.

Enough out of me for now - hope all my jewels are happy, well, and having decent weather this week. It’s been cold here.

Hugs,

Z