Or…..”My Life As A Damp, Crabby and Depressed Old Hogwart”. Okay, I don’t exactly know what a hogwart is (isn’t it some sort of creature out of the Harry Potter books or something? Or are they real snorting, snarfeling things that root through the undergrowth and resemble actual hogs?) I haven’t read the Harry Potter books, and I’m too darned lazy to look it up or ask DH, who probably knows, because he’s an avid National Geographic and Scientific American reader. He knows just about everything about everything. If that sounded snide, it probably was. He’s getting on my nerves, but since everything and everybody else is, too, I’ve got to figure this is mostly me and not him/them.)
Okay. I have gained a pound and a half. Way to GO, eh? Oh, the weather - the weather. I have already berated myself soundly in my previous post for complaining about the weather when others around the world have it so much worse, so I’ll just do without that disclaimer stuff. I am feeling oh, so sorry for myself - and, I suppose for my fellow east-coasters as well, but mostly for myself - because this summer, thus far, is turning out to be such a bust. Presumably there’s still a chance for it to get better, but that kind of presumption isn’t doing me one iota of good at this particular point in time. I am soooo tired of waking up in the morning to gray skies, walking around all day in gray, gray, gray, and then having the gray slowly fade to black as night takes over again. I can practically feel the grayness seeping through my pores, and I feel bloated and over-hydrated.
I’ve been indulging here and there in stuff I don’t need to be eating - a piece of cake here, a cookie there - and you all know the slippery slope that can have you sliding down in no time at all. An ounce here, and ounce there, and pretty soon, instead of losing that last damned ten, you’re trying to lose that last damned fifteen, then twenty - and then you’re disgusted with yourself all over again, depressed, miserable….and hogwarty. So a pound and a half is no laughing matter - not something that someone my age can take lightly: not when losing it is like losing twenty would’ve been twenty years ago.
I got my hair frosted and cut. Well, I didn’t “get” it frosted. DH and I did it. Really. I mean, isn’t that a scream? I bought two of those frosting/highlighting kits, and used the plastic cap that comes in them - I pulled through all the front and front/side hairs and DH did the rest. And then I mixed up a double batch of bleach, slathered it all on, covered it with the plastic overcap thingie (really just a rectangularly-shaped plastic bag thing) and waited for an hour. YES, a whole hour! My hair is beastly to bleach down. I even added a drabber to the bleach, because my natural hair is full of red and orange tones, and if you don’t leave the bleach on long enough for all those tones to wash out, I end up looking like a walking Maple tree in October - wonderful fall colors, doncha know? Unfortunately, I can’t seem to find a hairdresser who isn’t scared to death of being sued - scared that leaving the bleach on for so long will make my hair all fall out, or something - so doing it my/ourselves is my only option. My only option if I want a silvery blonde as opposed to a “golden” blonde. I’ve been too old for the “golden” blonde look since I was 30. Just never liked it on me. I’ve always leaned towards the ashy tones, and now that I have more than a few grays coming in, staying with the ashy tones makes perfect sense, because the grays blend right in and I don’t have to keep bleaching my hair quite so regularly as I would have to if I wasn’t getting those grays in. Anyway, I have ample hair, but it’s rather fine, and bleaching it adds a little body, so that’s a help, as well. So, we - DH & I - frosted it, and did quite a nice job - I guess his being an artist and all helps with pulling those hairs through, but I can’t for the life of me figure out why it should. I just know he does a good job with it, so why should I pay a hairdresser who will only end up giving me that awful “strawberry blonde”stuff, anyway? I did, of course, go to the hairdresser for the cut - I have a woman who can really CUT hair, and that’s what I needed as well - needed to freshen up the color and then get it shaped nicely again. I haven’t had it done in over a year, and the sides had somehow grown shorter than the back and the back was all long and straggly - lately I’ve just been wearing it up in a banana clip because there was no shape to it when I let it hang loose. So now it’s all fairly uniform in length - three or four inches below my ears - but with choppy layers that give it some oomph and body, and it looks quite decent, if I DO say so myself. Having better hair is a plus right about now, but I have to say that what’s been simmering in the back of my mind for a few days now is maybe doing a few sessions at a tanning salon. A little crazy - what with the skin cancer warnings and all, and the salons aren’t nearly the rage they were a few years back - but I am seriously suffering from a lack of sunlight (and vitamin D, naturally) and am feeling like 20 minutes in a tanning booth might cheer me up a little. Something needs to, and that’s the truth.
Oh, Anniegirl - that needing to clean the house bit hits home more than you realize. I love, love, LOVE decorating and hate, hate, HATE that dull, repetitive, day-to-day upkeep. Back when I had a little bit of money and the kids were growing up, I always had a cleaning person - I always worked full time, and when I was home, I wanted to spend quality time with my kids, not be up to my elbows in housework. Now, of course, I have no little babies at home anymore (they are STILL my “babies”, you understand - they just don’t live with me) and there’s only me and DH - and he’s home all day, so I don’t feel like I should work all day and then come home and clean up after HIM, if you know what I mean. I COOK - because his cooking is so abominable (although he’s managed to bake some chicken and roast some sweet potatoes for a few suppers, and they’ve been perfectly edible) - but I don’t expect to have to clean, and haven’t done very much of it for quite a while, now. Of course DH doesn’t clean as thoroughly as I would (if I had to) so there are some things that I tolerate for weeks at a time and then just give it a good shot myself from time to time. But overall, I’m not real happy with the state of my house - and feeling too damned gray and depressed to jump up and tackle any of it right about now. We actually have a great screened-in porch that I’ve been meaning to scrub down really good and set up our wicker table and outdoor chairs, which is as we speak floundering in the basement - hang some plants out there, but haven’t even bothered. Who wants to sit out in a screened-in porch to watch it rain? Blah, blah, and DOUBLE-blah is what I say to it all!
My son just got a job designing videogames. Go figure. Yes, I knew he was really good with computer programming and such, but had no idea that he could actually do this sort of stuff. Quite a substantial increase in income for him. I guess he won’t be moving back to Massachusetts anytime soon, so I may as well start searching for inexpensive (IS there any such thing?) flights to LA and back for the fall. I’m actually looking forward to it - it’s smoggy in the mornings out there, but generally speaking, there’s not much rain, ever. That’s what I really, really need - someplace where there’s not much rain, and there’s the BIG BONUS of my son being there, as well. I do miss that child terribly.
So, the fourth of July has come and gone. We went to a cook-out at the home of some of my daughter’s best friends - a huge family affair with parents, grandparents, grandchildren, and every age human imaginable. I brought my famous potato salad that I can’t even eat myself anymore because of this allergy I’ve developed in recent years to eggs. I have a gigantic aluminum bowl, and into this gigantic bowl, I threw one large (diced) onion, two stalks of (diced) celery and a dozen hard-boiled eggs. I then proceeded, using my old-fashioned tin hand-chopper, to chop that stuff into the finest consistency imaginable. I chopped, literally, until my wrists were hanging limp and useless. (Oh, not entirely so - but they were sore, and that’s the truth!) Then, I cut up eight pounds of potatoes cooked perfectly and refrigerated overnight into approximately 1 1/2 inch cubes and added them to the mixture. Then I mixed all that stuff together with *lite* Miracle Whip and a few good squirts of Gouldens brown mustard. Oh. MY! Now I’ve got to say that, simple as that recipe is, my potato salad is known and revered from here to Florida and out to the west coast and back (courtesy of my son, of course) and I only make it three or four times a year just so people don’t get too used to having it and it’s not a “treat” anymore. (LOL). So there you go - a nice, crowd-pleasing, non-diet-friendly summer recipe. (Don’t for a minute think that using *lite* Miracle Whip will do you any good whatsoever!) So, I took my potato salad and a great big package of Italian turkey sausages, and off we went. And guess what! It sprinkled, it stayed cloudy, and all in all, it was a gray, unpleasant day YET AGAIN. Some intrepid folks swam about and threw a beach ball back and forth in the pool (which they said was lovely and warm in contrast to the chilly day) and there were a few games of kickball and a badminton game over in one corner of the lawn. I can’t say I was able to muster much celebratory spirit, although I smiled and told a joke or two (Old song that you young ‘uns wouldn’t remember called “The Tracks of My Tears”. “They say I’m the life of the party because I tell a joke or two….dee dee dah dah (hum here because I don’t remember the words) but something about inside being miserable and you can tell from “the tracks of my tears”) Well, I don’t have any tear tracks, but I’ve gained a pound and a half and I’m vitamin D deprived, and that’s not exactly conducive to shouting with joy. It was okay, though - the folks are very pleaant, and it was nice seeing them and all, but a ray or two of sunshine would’ve been soooooo much more pleasant.
We were planning to go up to our White Mountains retreat over this weekend - I actually took Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday off in order to prolong it, but now we’ve cancelled. The weather predictions are for more rain and thunderstorms all week long until Friday, so there seems very little point in trekking up to the woods to experience more damp and grayness up close and personal. I’m going to go to work on Tuesday and Wednesday and save those vacation days for better weather. I will take Monday off, though. I really do need the break from work. I spent all this past week working on a huge, and extremely technical and complicated grant application, and my brain needs a little down time.
And that, folks, is “all she wrote”. Looks like plenty to me. A little more than plenty, but hey - I had a lot of kvetching to do!
Hope you are all doing well, happy, and most of all, I hope you haven’t gained a damned pound and a half!
Hugs,
Z
Oh, yeah. Monsoon season is upon us. Monsoon season? In Massachusetts, you ask? Oh, yes indeed. The weather patterns, they are a’changin…and that’s the truth. Now you can pooh-pooh Al Gore & global warming warnings all you like, but the proof, as they say, is in the pudding - or in this particular case, in the freaking thunderstorms that we can’t seem to shake. It feels like Flawridder, for pity sake! Hot, humid, and thundershowers every afternoon. We should have some seriously lush shrubs and plants this year, you know? Our tomatoes and peppers are already getting big and full-bodied.
I just checked the ten-day weather forecasts, and it looks like more of the same all through the 4th of July weekend. Oh, joy! We’re going up to our digs in N.H. and meeting up with the usual suspects - staying through Tuesday, and then we’ll take our time getting back, and I’ll work Thursday and Friday. Looks like we’ll have to bring our foul weather gear for sure.
But back to my cutting-edge analysis of weather - and weather-related states of mind. Now upfront, I have to say that I know full well that my personal griping and kvetching (about the weather) is self-centered, selfish and petty, given the terrible flooding they’ve been having in the midwest - the terrible weather-related disasters all over the world, for that matter - and I apologize in advance for this. I am constantly horrified at people’s homes being blown away, washing away, being torn to shreds in high winds. I can’t even imagine the terribleness of losing everything you own in that manner - going from being a homeowner one minute to a victim the next, huddling in a group shelter with dozens of other now-homeless people like yourself. Of course, I have to say that I’m horrified daily by ALL the tragedies that seem to befall humanity - from disaster to crime to accidents, disease, illness - and if you’ll permit me ONE brief cry in the wilderness, so to speak, I wonder at the purpose of prayer in the greater scheme of things. All these people who suffer all these terrible things - I mean, women who die of breast cancer, perfectly healthy people who jog, work out, eat only those things that are good for them and ultmately drop dead of heart attacks, children who are abducted, people who are murdered, soldiers - and innocent civilians - who die daily in Iraq as well as in in numerous other parts of the world. I mean, what IS it? They didn’t pray sufficiently - or well enough - or in the correct way, or others didn’t pray for them in the right way, or whatever OR God has “other plans for them”, and if that’s the case, what’s the point of praying, anyway?
See? I will not pursue that line of thought because it leads nowhere. Forgive my digression. So, back to my petty kvetching about the weather, and how all this rain and these perpetually cloudy skies depress that hell out of me. Season Affective Disorder - S.A.D. - has always seemed awfully self-indulgent to me, but the older I get, the more I abhor humidity and wetness all around me. I MUST say, it’s a good thing I quit smoking back when I did, because this is such NOT-optimum weather for anyone with any sort of respiratory problems, and I was definitely getting short of breath. Did I ever mention how I started smoking? It was back in the early 70’s - everybody I knew smoked, but I never had. Well, I’d tried it once, as a young teenager out “behind the barn” with a few friends, came close to choking to death, and never, ever had the urge to try it again. Then, in college, everybody was hanging about in dim, smoke-filled bars talking about the war, about civil rights, about Kierkegaard and Jung, SMOKING <one thing or another> and sipping cheap wine for the most part, although we were by no means above slurping down a “pint” as they say over in the U.K. Anyway, I felt left out. I did. But I STILL didn’t start smoking. Nope - not me. I waited until I was 28 years old to start. On the spur of the moment, in fact, I walked into a convenience store and bought myself a pack of Benson & Hedges menthol 100’s - because I liked the classy package, and their cigarettes didn’t have those ugly brown filters; they were as white as “the driven snow” - LOL, probably cleaner in my warped little mind. ANYWAY, the first one was a little rough, but by the time I’d gotten through that pack, I was hooked. So, I started, loved it, and within a year, all my friends had quit smoking!!!! I mean, can you believe it? But, being the intrepid one that I am (and late bloomer, besides) I kept right on with it - even found a friend or two here and there who smoked as well, and we kind of encouraged each other. Then, after nearly 30 years, I found myself wheezing a bit going up stairs, feeling completely oppressed when it was humid out, feeling like I couldn’t keep up with our friends on hikes and such, and I decided that I’d had enough. Did the self-hypnosis bit, and was done with it. And, like I was saying, not a minute too soon, because here we are, developing tropical weather patterns in new England, of all places, and if I were still smoking, I’d be gasping for breath right about now.
About the self-hypnosis and smoking VS. self-hypnosis and eating: WAY harder when it comes to eating, BUT it seems to have some gradual impact over time. With the smoking, whenever I think about smoking a cigarette, I automatically think about gasping for breath, and have absolutely no desire whatsoever to smoke. Yay. Case closed. Obviously can’t do that with eating, but I’m finding that I actually am beginning to develop negative feelings about unhealthy foods - junk - and when I think about eating them, I feel real physical discomfort through my midsection. Not pain - just a feeling of blubberiness; a marshmallowy feeling. I’m not sure that describes it exactly, but it DOES cause me to NOT want to eat that particular bit of junk, and that’s a good thing, even if it isn’t quite as stong as the not-smoking vibe. Maybe it will get stronger over time.
Anyway, the weather - and depression, crankiness, etc., etc. First of all, I thought winter was never going to get over with, was soooooo delighted when it finally left for good, and now I’m flailing about in this humidity and rain every day, with no end in sight, and have to tell you that I’m hating it. I am horribly cranky. I know I am. Bless DH’s long-suffering heart; he’s just so good about it.
Speaking of which, Congress has passed that spending bill that will extend unemployment benefits for 13 weeks - which will bring us right up to the week when DH’s first retirement check is due. Whoopee!!!! Poor man was really moping about, and I know that was on his mind - those weeks, I mean, with only my income coming in. Well, President Bush, they say, will sign it into law next week, and then we can breathe a sigh of relief instead of counting every dime that comes in and goes out. We’ve been saving against the time when his benefits would run out, so we would’ve been okay, but not as okay as we would’ve liked, for sure. So this is helpful.
Well, nothing special planned for this weekend - we’ll undoubtedly do some walking, I’ll do the grocery shopping, and we may have a cook-out with the kids if it doesn’t rain. (Hah! Fat chance of that…)
Alright. Enough out of me for the time being. Enjoy your weekends, mes amis -
Hugs,
Z
That great big glass building in the upper left, in case you didn’t know, is the Prudential or “Pru” Tower. The very top is a restaurant with a revolving floor that allows diners to look out in every direction. The view is downright astonishing. I only go up there a few times a year, and not on my own - only for business functions. The prices are pretty astonishing, too. I DO, however, drive through the “Pru Tunnel” every day coming into and leaving Boston. Imagine all those floors on top of where I’m driving! That’s why I have accidental life insurance along with my regular insurance. If it all comes tumbling down some day, might as well leave my kids well-off, eh? Oh, and DH, too, of course. Anyway, once I’ve exited the tunnel, my building is about three minutes down one street and up another. I manage to avoid most of the Boston traffic tangles, actually. And free parking, so I can’t <really> complain. I know a lot of folks who are paying astronomical parking fees to come into Boston to work every day. I have no idea why I felt compelled to share this with you - after all, it’s not like it’s anything terribly interesting, but I WAS thinking about where I spend my life, who I spend it with, etc., etc., and realized that my surroundings - at least at work - are (sort of) interesting in a maybe uninteresting sort of way. (LOL!) Okay, this is admittedly rather self-indulgent and probably of no interest to anyone but myself. But that’s okay. I know you-all will humor me, right? Omigawd! A couple of years ago, I was Ooohing and ahhhhing over the prices of real estate down in the Charlotte, NC area. DH and I had discussed buying a good-sized house down there - 4 or so bedrooms and 3 or so baths, two car garage, etc. - because they could be had for as little as $150,000. We were talking about having it to retire to, and in the meantime for us - and the kids - to use as a vacation home. I can tell you that comparable properties in the Boston area were costing a million dollars and up - and 40 miles west, in the Worcester area, comparable houses were selling in the $700,000+ range. So, I mean, the North Carolina prices were crazy low back then. We ended up not doing it - there just never seemed to be a right time to get down there and look at properties, and then, of course, as most of you know, DH got fired from his job and we downsized considerably here on the home front. But, good grief! I recently was reading an AOL article about the real estate downturn and just out of curiosity, thought I’d check in on the Charlotte market. These SAME houses that were going for $150,000 a few years back are now listed in the $75,000 range! I mean, how crazy is this? Now you know that there will eventually be an upturn, so buying now could end up being an incredible investment over the long term. We like Charlotte because they have quite an up and coming art community, and it’s only an hour’s drive from my sister in Hendersonville. There USED to be $99 round trip airfare specials from Boston to Charlotte three or four times a year, too, so we were thinking (back when we were talking about buying a place) that it would be nothing to just pay for the kids and their families to fly in for a visit every few months. NOW, of course $99 would just about cover your bags! Anyway, I thought we should at least consider taking another look, you know? I actually saw some 3 bedroom, 3 bath condos listed in the $50,000 range, and that would be perfectly do-able for us. Of course I don’t think we could do it while DH is collecting unemployment - probably have to wait until he’s officially retired. I’m not sure how that would work credit-wise.
George Carlin died!!!!! He was 71 !!!!!! Omigawd, does that stink or what? I know sooooo many people who lived (and are living) WAY longer than that, and they aren’t half as funny as him!
My weekend eating was by no means stellar. In fact, I broke my own (new) rule and didn’t bother weighing myself. I knew I’d be depressed if I did. I’m already depressed because we’ve had nothing but thunderstorms and threats of thunderstorms and gray, overcast days for over a week, now. Okay, Saturday wasn’t bad. DH & I went walking at the same place that we walked last weekend, and enjoyed soaking up some vitamin D for a change. Also staked our tomato and pepper plants when we got back from walking. Then had really yummy faux chicken strips on caesar-ish salads with chopped cucumbers, diced plum tomatoes, avocado chunks, red onion and sliced black olives with low-cal, low-fat bleu cheese dressing. Sprinkled some almonds on top. It was delish! I was thinking, though, that it would really be good with some SMART (low carb/low calorie/high fiber) rotini pasta mixed in. Yeah, so that, after some exercise, etc., wasn’t in and of itself a bad choice at all. My bad choices were eating peanut butter sandwiches for both breakfast AND lunch, AND a dark chocolate (MUFA, right?) candy bar, AND a WW ice cream sandwich. Maybe other things, too. I tried not to look. Sunday was more of the same. I mean, nothing totally outrageous, but definitely “too much of a good thing”.
So, today for lunch I brought a box of frozen spinach, two Morningstar veggie burgers, and TWO SLICES OF LOW-FAT, 30 CALORIE-PER-SLICE CHEESE!!!!!! I just recently looked in the refrig in the employee lunchroom, and MY CHEESE IS GONE!!! Can you believe it? George Carlin died, we’re having weeks and weeks of thunderstorms and rain (DH just called to tell me that the electricity is off at home) AND MY CHEESE HAS BEEN STOLEN. Is there no justice - no fairness at all - in the world? Who would take my cheese? I feel a sinus headache coming on. Just for the record, my breakfast was a cup of fresh strawberries (Oh, alright. A cup and a half), a fresh pear and a cup and a half of oatmeal squares. I am RIGHT back on the wagon this morning, and someone has made off with my cheese. I can hardly believe it. Such blatant disregard for the needs of fellow employees! There is a thief in our midst! I am appalled and angered! Like the people who work here couldn’t afford to buy their OWN cheese, for pity sake!
Ah, well. Just a part of that network of events that comprises my life, doncha know? Keeps things interesting, y’might say. (Or, y’might NOT say. I’d still rather have my cheese than an interesting mystery to solve).
The sun is coming out through the clouds around here. I hope the electricity gets restored at home before all the food in my fridge rots. I just did my weekly grocery shopping on Saturday morning, and it wasn’t cheap by a long shot.
Well, that’s all for now, dear folk -
Hugs,
Z
Just busy, that’s all. Nothing special or exciting - just busy. We had a fundraising reception with a whole bunch of muckety-mucks at the Boston College Club, which is on the 36th (or 39th - I’m not sure) floor of the Bank of America corporate (Boston) headquarters overlooking Boston Harbor, and the view was simply magnificent - akin to what you see taking off in a plane. Lofty. Almost above the clouds, which is, of course, where a majority of these people feel that they belong by birthright - or by virtue of their inflated assets, at any rate. The food left a lot to be desired, however - with little trays of bite-sized bits of this n’ that offered up by waiters in white coats and black bow ties. The furnishings and accoutrements were, of course, of the finest, most expensive quality, the silver so thick and heavy that you could barely lift your fork with that little crumb of something or other on it. Have I mentioned how much I abhor these events? When I have to slip into the “little black dress” and absurdly high heels (not that high for you young ‘uns, I’m sure, but WAY high for an old over-the-hill thing like my own self)??? You’re supposed to look like you’ve got some class - supposed to look like one of them doncha know? Because they like to “do deals” and give to their friends - they don’t give a poop about anybody who might truly need the programs and services that their money helps to fund - oh, no; they’re there to see and be seen. They’re there to have their picture snapped with someone higher (never lower) on the income & influence ladder than they are. They write checks simply to outdo the nouveau riche guy at the next table - fine for us, but I mean, c’mon! How crass can you get? Must you get dressed up in black tie and stand around sipping wine and all that in order to share some of your money with the less fortunate? I say, just send us a check! Stay home, put your feet up, swig on a beer if you want and watch TV in your underwear. I don’t care WHAT they do - but wouldn’t it be a whole lot easier to just skip the freaking reception and send a check?????
Oh, blah. So, I didn’t get home until 10:30 or thereabouts on Wednesday night, and then had to drive (2 1/2 hours each way) to North Adams for a meeting up there yesterday. Can anybody say “exhausted”????? Needless to say, I had no problem whatsoever sleeping last night, and slept soundly until the alarm clock buzzed at 5:30 this morning.
I overindulged a bit this week - nothing outrageous, exactly, but I’ve been a tad on the hungry side for some reason. Dying for something sweet. Don’t have a clue why. Gotta get on the scale tomorrow, though. My new routine is to weigh in every Saturday.
More planting tomorrow, along with my usual grocery run. More walking, too, with DH. It looks, incidentally, like Washington is going to pass the unemployment extension along with the additional funding package for the Iraq war, so good news accompanied by bad, in my opinion. I think if we could close the war down by foregoing the unemployment extensions, DH and I would rather just tighten our belts and go without. Of course, his retirement income from Social Security will kick in when he turns 62 - he filled out the paperwork, and I think he said he’ll get his first check towards the end of October. We were expecting his unemployment to stop in mid-July, but have planned accordingly, so we could survive well enough with or without the extension. I realize, of course, that not everyone is in that position, and no doubt need the extension, so I shouldn’t speak for the general (unemployed) population. But I think it stinks that the only way they could pass it was to tack it onto a war spending bill. I don’t disapprove of veteran’s benefits at all, but I sure would like it if we had fewer veterans because there was no war to fight, you know?
I’m a little bit apprehensive about weighing myself this week. Oh, well - there’s always next week if I didn’t do so well this time around, right?
Have a happy, healthy and oh, so wonderful weekend, everyone! We DO deserve it, yes?
Hugs,
Z
Hee hee….I guess most of my blogmates are busy celebrating father’s day with DH & the brood. Well, here’s wishing everybody a teriffic day. Me? Well, I guess this is one of the casualties of matrimonius interruptus, so to speak. AND remarrying someone with no offspring. Oh, my kiddos will stop by later on, undoubtedly, with cards and little gifts for DH - as their much loved step-dad - and DS will call from the west coast later (much later; he worked last night) in the day, but the girls will be taking their bio-dad (kind of reminds me of bio-hazard) out to dinner after church. Along with my son-in-law’s dad, who is a real, honest-to-goodness gem of a man, and if it weren’t for the ex going along, DH & I would most certainly accompany them. But, things are what they are, and so there will be no (or at any rate, very little) “hopping on pop” here today. And none of you need start thinking in any lewd and lascivious directions, either, because I am most certainly not hopping anywhere, and you can take that to the bank. yes indeed. LOL!
Okay, now for the good news! Oh, it’s not all that momentous, but I did finally force myself onto the scale yesterday morning, and have lost another 2.5 pounds. I am indeed pleased, because I haven’t felt like I was “dieting” for months, now, and yet there does seem to be a definite downward progress. Not fast, by any means, but definitely moving downwards, and I am quite happy, for the first time in years and years, with how and what I eat - and the results. For so long, it’s been a matter of eat what I want and steadily GAIN weight, or be miserable eating according to some diet plan and be half-way happy with how I look. Finally - FINALLY - I am eating well, I am happy with what I’m eating, AND I’m steadily losing as opposed to gaining weight. I’m actually beginning to think that maybe by the end of this month I’ll haul out the bathing suit that I invested in last year and try that sucker on (in the privacy of my bedroom; let’s not get too carried away, here…). But wouldn’t it be lovely if during July and August, I could take myself to the beach and actually have my bathing suit on and ENJOY myself instead of wearing a pair of jean shorts over the stupid suit?
In the meantime - more of the same in terms of eating well and exercising (walking) as much as possible. I really admire those of you (Ms. Close - omigawd!) who work out regularly at fitness centers because just the thought of it makes me need a nap. But DH & I have been getting out and trying to stay as active as possible - yesterday was a nice day here in the unpredictable northeast, and we went and did the grocery shopping and then after bringing the stuff home and putting it away, we had a modest lunch and went down to Lake Quinsigamond where we soaked up some vitamin D (VERY good for you, according the Jon Gabriel, eh, feathers?) and walked for 45 minutes in the process. Lovely walk; we really enjoyed it, and plan to go there again soon (except it’s raining today, dangit!). The dirt walking path meanders along the lake, through fields, and into and out of the woods surrounding the lake. Just lovely, really, and yesterday was a little overcast, but sunny-ish and not too hot. Here’s part of the lake (It’s close to five miles long)
and heres part of the walking path:
DH, of course, was born and raised in Texas, while I am a New Englander born and bred, and don’t ask me why my font got smaller after I inserted that last picture because I am also technologically challenged and haven’t a CLUE why it happened or how to fix it. So, if anyone is reading this, now would be the time to go get your glasses or pop in those contacts. Anyway, I raised my kids in Worcester, and many of these places that DH and I are now “rediscovering”, so to speak, are places where my kids and I spent time - Lake Quinsigamond, for example, better known to us locals as Lake “Quinsig” was where their high school rowing teams met, and they played tennis on the public courts at Lake Park, and even put in some beach time there, too. Of course, once the kiddos were grown and off pursuing their own lives, I didn’t have much reason to revisit these places until now, and I’m just now remembering why I did raise my kids here - all the wonderful resources: parks, lakes, recreation, hiking, sports stuff, etc. within city limits - and Worcester is second to Boston, the second largest city in Massachusetts, but so much of it still retains its rural character (the house where my kids grew up was about a ten minute drive from downtown Worcester, but we were on a dead-end street with huge expanses of lawn and shrubs between us and our neighbors, and our backyard bordered on a big forested area.) So, anyway, here I am, with DH, exploring the old haunts and getting in better shape besides. Not a bad way to spend your declining years, eh? Nice, too, with gas prices as high as they are, to be able to find things to do within a two-or three mile radius of home. Speaking of which, it’s now costing me $80 a week at the pumps to drive back & forth to work. SO not optimum! I’m considering making a request at work to telecommute a couple of days a week at least.
Well, it’s getting along after noontime, here, and I’m still in my nightie, I’m afraid. Wet and rainy outside, so we won’t do any walking today. The kids are supposed to be coming by @ 5:00 so I should try to make this place a little tidier.
Hope you’re all having a wonderful day and that you have lovely upcoming weeks, as well!
Hugs,
Z
and a pretty severe thunderstorm last night that took down a lot of tree branches, and in some cases, whole trees in our corner of the world. No, I sure am NOT complaining, considering all those awful midwestern storms - I figure we’re pretty lucky. Lucky, too, that as a result of the storm, it’s somewhat cooler today than it has been. We don’t have central air. One of the disadvantages, I suppose, of living in an older house, but it’s not like we have this abysmal heat year-round, after all. Over the past three/four days, though, it was pretty awful - we had to buy another AC, because the ones we brought from the old house weren’t keeping the whole apartment cool. The kitchen has a powerful ceiling fan, and we didn’t think we needed the AC in there. We were wrong. By Monday, the kitchen was uninhabitable. So yesterday, we got a new AC for the kitchen - just in time for the heat to subside today, anyway. It’s okay, though. We have more haute days ahead of us for sure.
Yellow baloons? Oh. We’re using them at a fundraising event next week - the “strategic decision” to do so was made in a meeting that I was at yesterday. I’m SO not crazy about the idea, but got outvoted. Tsk. Such inanity, I swear. Inanity - and stupidity; such decisions should not be arrived at in a democratic manner. Not when you count the votes of “kids” working here as summer interns, and “kids” working as development “associates”, which means entry-level-here-to-get-experience, right? So, in MY (considerably less than humble, I suppose) opinion, they are not sufficiently experienced to participate in this sort of decision. To baloon, or not to baloon….I mean, that’s lofty stuff. You need a meeting of the board on that one, don’t you? CEO, CFO (after, all, there IS some expense involved), etc., etc. And, hey - this meeting only took up an hour and a half of my otherwise not-terribly-busy (Riiiiiiiight) day - and it sure seems to me that to properly discuss the pros & cons, we needed at least an off-site summit of some sort…half a day, at least! But, in protest, I m spending a little work time here chatting with my bloggies. If they can keep me in a meeting about yellow baloons (Okay, and a FEW other things as well) then it’s obvious that what I am doing with my time is pretty flexible, eh? So I’m flexing.
Did I mention the heat over the past four days? Brutal, but in a nice sort of way. The weekend was pretty decent. Oh, hot (haute), yes, but enjoyable if pretty laid-back. Planted a couple of varieties of tomatoes, red & green peppers and some gladiola bulbs, watched a few movies, and then, on Sunday, went to a revolutionary war battle re-enactment over in the next town. There were encampments of British troops and patriots on either side of the town common, and we did a lot of walking around and chatting with the re-enactors, although we missed the battle which was held on Saturday while we were planting our tomatoes and such. (Good idea to plant our own, considering the salmonella scare, eh?). It was really interesting and fun, and when we left there, we went to a local beach (lake), set up our little beach chairs and soaked up a little more vitamin D before going home. Nice. Unexciting, but pleasant.
DH is going to be officially retired as of August 27, which is when he turns 62. Turns out you can file for your retirement benefits 3 months before you reach 62, so he did. As of right now, he’s still collecting unemployment benefits, and will be through July. Those of you who have known me for awhile may recall that he got fired last November from his job as a software engineer for a big hospital complex in Manchester, NH. This was after having worked there for seven years with regular rave reviews, regular peformance-based pay raises, and no indication whatsoever that they were going to fire him until a few months after his 60th birthday, when they hired a new guy - a guy in his forties - had DH *train* him, and then shortly thereafter, put DH on a 90-day “performance improvement plan”? (What?) No specific complaints, mind you, and no specific goals & objectives - just a “performance improvement” plan (or non-plan, actually). Ironically, despite there being no identified goals or objectives, they told him after 90 days that he had “satisfactorily” completed the performance improvement plan. (Huh? What did he do?) THEN, a month or so after that, he was called in by the department head (a hospital VP) and summarily fired. Needless to say, the *new guy* that he had trained now has his job. The hospital didn’t dispute DH’s unemployment claim, which they probably should have done - just to establish that they fired him for poor performance or something. But they didn’t, so it’s been documented that he was fired through no fault of his own , which leans pretty heavily in the direction of age-ism (ya THINK???). So, we filed an age-discrimination complaint, knowing that 90% of them get screened out by the Commission Against Discrimination and go nowhere. Well, guess what! They didn’t screen it out, and they sent a notice of complaint to the hospital, and the hospital has to respond by July 8. Now, DH has applied for some jobs, but let’s face, it, nobody is really going to hire a 62-year-old software engineer; not when they can get a much younger one for about half the money, right? So, he’s retiring early, which is okay, except that he’ll have to find SOMETHING to do - some kind of gainful employment - just so that he doesn’t drive himself (or me) crazy. (And so that we’ll have the money to continue with our lavish lifestyle….LOL. Not!!!!)
Eating: Truly terrible weekend, I’m afraid. Not that I ate anything outrageous - in fact, don’t have anything that qualifies as outrageous in the house, anymore. BUT, there IS such a thing as “too much of a good thing” and FOUR (yup - 4 !!!) WW Ice cream sandwiches in one day, along with your regular meals, is just plain overdoing it. I also ate a couple of peanut butter sandwiches, and while peanut butter is one of those wonderful MUFA’s that everyone is talking about nowadays, the fact remains that it has a high calorie and fat content (even if it IS of the mono-unsaturated variety!) Of course now that it’s cooler, (and we have a new AC in there) maybe I can turn my oven on again, and maybe bake some chicken and a sweet potato or something. Sweet potatoes seem to satisfy my need for something *sweet* and after having one, I don’t even need my WW ice cream sandwich.
Phyl, I don’t understand why, when I click on your name (on your comments to my blog) nothing happens. With all the others, clicking on their names takes me to their blogs. Wish I knew more about this techno-stuff, but in the meantime, I’m just watching for your blog to appear on the blog-list (which it will do whenever you post). I hope the worst of the storms passed you by. <hugs>
So, that’s about it for moi. Wishing all of you special ones (you know who you are)happy & healthy days…
Hugs,
Z
Anyone remember Paul Simon’s “Rene and Georgette Magritte with Their Dog After the War”? Now that man can WRITE a song, and that’s the truth. Magritte is my youngest daughter’s middle name. Her first name is Dana. Magritte means “my little girl”, which is what she will always be, even now that she has her own little girl, whose broken wing, incidentally, is healing nicely. No surgery. Children are so much more resilient that we old ones, don’t you know? But, “after the war”, indeed. Is there actually such a place? Such a time? I do mourn for the state of humanity sometimes. Oftentimes, actually. Then, of course, being the emotional - and I suppose, basically happy - creature that I am, something or somebody comes along with an idea or thought or pleasantry that cheers me up considerably. The decades really DO glide by - like native Americans? LOL. All this political correctness. Every native American I know (and I know a few) calls him/herself an “Indian”. Probably not even with a capital “i”. One thing people sure do enjoy in this world is their differences. We are all, to some degree or other, proud of the culture that raised us, and to varying degrees, distrustful of all those that didn’t. Instead of feeling pride in our own accomplishments, much of humanity finds it less challenging to simply rest on the laurels, so to speak, of their ancestry, their culture, their country…we are all, when it comes right down to it, tribal by nature. Protective of our borders. Don’t want too many of “THOSE people” coming in and taking us over - taking our jobs, taking our homes and taking over our neighborhoods. Nope - I’m not going to engage in a diatribe about immigration here, but the older I get, the more absurd all of this seems. Maybe I’m just evolving to a more global outlook in preparation for my incipient “graduation” to the next level of existence, but these things do trouble me. I can’t deny that. Our need to acquire more than we need in life, and then fight - and make laws - so that we can keep it all, and by golly, acquire some more if we can! I will never forget being stuck in traffic just outside of Miami a few years back - stuck beneath a highway overpass - there was a stretch limo in front of us, and one in back of us. One, as well, to either side of us. We were literally boxed in by wealth and affluence, and about three feet from the traffic, on the side of the road on a dusty piece of dirt, were at least twenty homeless folks living in cardboard cartons. I don’t imagine that whoever was behind the tinted glass windows of those limos even noticed what they were sitting next to. Never even noticed that three feet away from them were people - human beings like themselves - with noplace to live while they, no doubt had trouble deciding WHICH residence they wanted to stay in THIS month. These people - these oil comany executives, these huge government contractors, these wheelers and dealers (or sons and daughters, grandsons and granddaughters of wheelers and dealers) glide by and through life - not like Indians, no - but like great luxury boats on a sea of tiny rowboats, not caring how many of those little boats get capsized in their wake. Hah! Ever the social commentator, eh? You can take the youth and passion out of the woman, but you can’t take the woman out of the mindset. People today envision America, the land of the free (etc., etc.) enduring forever. To most, it’s incomprehensible that the country could fail, and yet history documents many great civilizations that endured far longer than we have been in existence - and are now no more than overgrown ruins. George Bush hasn’t single-handedly brought us to ruin, but he has certainly hastened the process, and that’s a fact. I somewhat guardedly share Anniegirl’s enthusiasm over Obama’s win, but I do fear that we’ve deteriorated farther than he - or anyone else - can fix.
BUT, having released all of my doom and gloom for the moment, let me relate some GOOD news for a change. :-) DH’s doctor declared him to be pre-diabetic about three months ago, and sent him to a nutritionist and advised him to lose twenty pounds. He immediately started eating exclusively what I eat (for example: when we used to have baked sweet potatoes, he would slather his with real butter - and lots of it, while I sprayed mine with a butter-flavored olive oil-based spray.) He switched to the spray, started dressing his salads with just lemon juice instead of the Bleu Cheese dressing that he used to love, and cut way back on red meat (I hardly cook red meat anymore) just to name a few changes. And, of course, you know that he and I have made a commitment to exercise and walking as much as we possibly can. So, he had a new set of lab tests done a week ago, and had an appointment with his doctor on Tuesday of this week. The lab results were all LOW/normal, and he’s lost seventeen pounds to boot! I mean, how amazing is that? (Plus, feathers, we have incorporated a lot of the Gabriel Method into our lifestyle - including the occasional sprint during our walks and the visualization stuff. So, thanks for the referral!) He came home absolutely delighted with the progress, thanking me for the way I cook for him, and thrilled that he doesn’t have diabetes looming over his head anymore. Really excellent, yes?
And I, of course, continue to plug along, dropping only ounces at a time, and mourning my inability to fit into those old shorts of mine. I feel sad that I’ve allowed myself to get to where I feel “good” about getting into a size 12. There was a time, long, looong ago in a place very much like this place and a time very much like this time, when I thought size 10’s were “large”. Hah! If I’d only known then what I know now, I would’ve enjoyed myself way more, and that’s the truth. Anyway, that’s the introduction that DH uses when he tells stories to the kids - “There was a time, long, looong ago…etc., etc. I always love it when he starts one of his stories. The kids sit around him in a circle with rapt expressions on their faces, hanging on every word… neat, you know?
So, gray and wet in these here parts today, but predictions are for a haute weekend. (I just LOVE haute weekends!) I plan to do some more planting. I bought a gorgeous pot the other day - huge; at least 2 feet high, and with a beautiful design etched into the clay and then glazed unevenly so that it’s rough and old looking. I have just the plant for it, and just the place for it out in my garden. AND we shall do some walking, and perhaps a cook-out if the kids feel like it. Maybe we’ll throw something for ourselves on the grille if they’re going to be busy.
Another hour here at work (and my little self-imposed mental-health break is over; I gotta get back at it) and then home again, home again, jiggety jig. Yay, huh?
Love,
Z
Well, here I am - back at work yet one more time. I try - oh, how I try - to tell myself how fortunate I am to have a decent job when so many others are out of work in this country, but frankly, it’s difficult to muster up much enthusiasm at 5:30 on Monday morning. In fact, I’d be hard put to come up with much enthusiasm until, oh, roundabout Wednesday afternoon, I’d say. And then, the enthusiasm is about having made it half-way through the week, not about how much I love my job for gawd’s sake! ANYWAY, it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood and immediately after eating my Healthy Choice chicken and something-or-other panini for 300 calories, I’m going outside to soak up a few rays. Oh, I just can’t get enough sun, you know? We went to a street art festival yesterday at @ noontime, stayed there walking from booth to booth for a couple of hours, and then stopped by Home Depot for a new plant pot for my spider-baby which is now at least a foot tall, and outgrowing it’s eensy little pot. I was disgusted, to be perfectly honest. An 8′ diameter pot was $24.99. Maybe you-all are used to paying such exhorbitant prices, but please keep in mind that I came of age in the late sixties and raised my kids in the late seventies, through the eighties and nineties. (They were spaced pretty far apart). But I mean, sometimes the prices of simple damned things that you know have about ten cents worth of actual material in them - not to mention that they were most likely made in some foreign sweatshop where workers are given twenty-five cents a day and their pay is docked to cover the cost of their broken-down dormitory rooms - and here’s Home Depot (or WalMart, or Target, or wherever) making 99.9% profit or more - well, I mean, it’s just not to be tolerated or supported. It makes no sense. So, needless to say, I refused to buy a new pot, and am now tring to figure out what to put my spider in before it gets potbound. But, all of that aside, we left Home Depot (with me feeling foul and doing a bit of ranting and raving, I’m afraid) and stopped at the market to pick up a few last-minute things for my DD’s cook-out. I parboiled a great batch of chicken wings on Saturday evening and had the things marinating in buffalo wing sauce all night long. But, I also committed to making a big tossed salad because everyone loves my salads since DH and I became so much more healthy with our eating and all - now I add all sorts of lovely ingredients, and my salads are phenomenal! Enough of blowing my own horn, though - we did our grocery stop and then headed home for the wings and to make the salad. The cook-out was really nice; very laid-back - just my two local DD’s and their husbands and one child apiece. DD30 IS working on having another one as I think I mentioned previously in this here blog, but so far, no progress on that front. We really had a long discussion, though - about the usual, of course. Politics, religion, family relationships, current events (family, country, world) - and Dh and I didn’t manage to get home to bed until nearly 10:00, which wasn’t optimum for me getting up at 5:30. Of course he always gets up about ten minutes before me to make the coffee and feed the cats, so it’s not like he gets to sleep in. (I betcha he took a nap this morning, though!) Now I was planning to just have a Boca burger with FF cheese on a whole wheat bun and a huge big plate of salad at the cook-out, but the burgers that DD made just got the best of me, and I ended up having one, along with three chicken wings AND and an ice cream cone-thing that I was thoroughly amazed to discover had only 150 calories to the 140 calories in our WW ice cream sandwiches! But, eating that stupid burger - and the ice cream, I suppose - ended up making me hungry LATER, so I had a WW ice cream when we got home. I don’t think I went anywhere near over my calorie count for the day, but it sure felt like it.
Now I’m yawning like crazy. Guess I’ll go heat up my panini and catch a little sun.
TTFN,
Hugs,
Z
This is the beginning of our hike (above), and here is the stream where I took my blood-numbing, but mercifully short dip:
Glorious, yes? And probably even more so for those of us who are urban dwellers whose only exposure to “nature” consists of our own rather small yards and public parks. Now, mind you, I just love the White Mountains in summer, but the thought of actually living up there during winter isn’t nearly so appealing. The roads getting to this lovely retreat of ours are narrow and winding, with gravel shoulders that one wouldn’t want to stray onto - even in good weather, because you’d undoubtedly be sent arse over teakettle into the scrub brush. Winter storms tend to interrupt the electrical service, too - and I know I would take well to not having my “Mister Coffee” perked coffee first thing every morning. SO, lovely place, love going there, but could never, ever consider staying up there year round.
I was back at work today - whooohoooo - and encountered the same old, same old, of course. Nothing unusual or unexpected, and the day somehow managed to get itself over with before I became too frustrated and miserable. Looks like I can manage one more day - and then the weekend! YESSS!
I’m feeling hungry for some reason. I was pretty discouraged over those shorts not fitting; you’d think it would’ve been enough to “put me off my feed” so to speak, for a good while, but no - here I am, all finished with supper (stir-fry made with faux-chicken strips, Jamaican jerk marinade, onions, red & green peppers, cubes of sweet potato and fresh brocolli. Served it over brown rice) and I’m still hungry. I’m putting off having my WW ice cream sandwich for as long as I can because I have a feeling it’s not going to satisfy me completely, and my only recourse, really, is to eat it and get myself to bed before I start eating anything else.
Plus, I’m pretty tired and need to be up early. I’ll have my bath in the morning; I’m just plumb worn out tonight. Feel almost like I could close my eyes and fall asleep right here where I’m sitting.
Keep up the good work, y’all - y’know we really ARE doing this weight-loss thing! We need to give ourselves a pat on the back, don’t you think?
((((((((((((((US)))))))))))))))))))))))))
Hugs,
Z
Home again, jiggedy-jig….. and I am sooooooo glad that I took today as a vacay day, too! Even the thoughts of going back to work tomorrow are somewhat unsavory, but if I’d had to go back today, I would’ve been dismally depressed and disgusted. (Probably disenchanted, too. Possibly disoriented and definitely disorganized and emotionally and mentally devastated.) Looks like that’s it for the “d-words”. Maybe I’ll think of some more later? Hmmmm. Soooo. It was actually quite a wonderful getaway. We got up there Saturday morning somewhere around 11:30-ish - just in time to meet up with everyone for the lunch gathering, which was great fun. Greeting and hugging and catching up and chattering and sharing stories, etc. Then, time to unpack, bathe, and get dressed for the evening get-together, with more of the same chatter as at lunch, but with some smatterings of entertainment - a drumming group that was magnificent, and then lots of impromptu performances - story-telling, a song or two, a few poems recited and a flute solo (all performed by members of our odd little group, of course). Finally, off to bed in the wee hours of the morning, up on Sunday a little late, but in time to do the hike, which was wonderful, and back for a late afternoon lunch, more gathering and chattering, another evening get-together - this time outdoors around a huge campfire (much bug spray needed) with conversations ranging from politics to spirituality to quantum physics to hexayurt building (one of our friends just won an award for his hexayurt design - emergency and long-term self-contained shelters for disaster victims and minimalists of all kinds) and everything in between. Then, of course, there were the individual visits and chats - good, nutritious non-junk type foods, and lots of music, laughter, and love. Quite, quite wonderful, including, even, the QUICK dip in a COOOOLD mountain stream that left my skin blue and goose-bumped. But, I did acquire a bit of color otherwise, and outside of a few bug bites, am feeling quite refreshed and renewed. I do need to wash my hair this morning. Sat in my lovely claw-footed tub for over an hour after we got home last night. The facilities up at the retreat are a tad primitive - showers but no tubs, I’m afraid. I needed my soak.
Today is wonderfully lazy and non-productive. I’m still sitting her in my nightie. Not much to worry about doing today. Need to bring in a few more things from DH’s car, and go drop off the throwaway camera that I took pictures with over the weekend. No people, I’m afraid - just scenery; I forgot about the camera until the very last minute and since we were the last to haul out of there, I ran around snapping pictures as DH packed the last of the stuff in the car. We don’t take the digital camera on little jaunts such as this because DH needs it for his art catalogues and such, and we really wouldn’t want to have to replace it if it got damaged or forgotten somewhere along the way. Anyway, if any of them came out half-decent, I’ll post them.
Oh, I may just have myself a nap. I just thought of another “d” word - decadent. That’s what I’m feeling today - lazy and decadent - and I’ve gotta say, there’s a LOT to be said for sheer, unadulterated decadence. I feel like a cat lazing about here this morning. It’s wonderful. 
I didn’t go very far off-plan (eating plan, that is) while away, but I still have to really dig my heels in and get this last ten pounds or so off ASAP. I’m still not thrilled with my less-than (or should I say MORE than) optimum body mass. I WANT TO BE THIN, damnit! THIN - not “average”, not “perfectly alright”, but THIN! THIN, THIN, THIN! Oh, how I can identify with those of you who have, at various times, wished for instant results - expressed your impatience with the whole damned process of weight loss. That would describe me, as well - and especially this morning, because I brought a pair of jean shorts up to the mountains with me that I remember wearing a few years ago, and thought surely they’d slide right on me now (I don’t know the size - the tag has long since faded into oblivion) but they DON’T! They were TOO TIGHT!!!!!! Talk about your “downers”, people! SO here I am this morning, determined yet again to lose yet MORE weight, and wishing for some magic pill that would dissolve away ten pounds by tomorrow morning! This is SO not fair!
But…oooooooohhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm. I need to try to maintain a calm state of mind. Agitation doesn’t help with weight loss, after all. And, I was feeling pretty mellow until I thought about those freaking shorts!
Well, off to wash my hair, maybe have a nap, and do as little as I can possibly get away with for the rest of the day.
I’ve missed you, my jewels - I hope this finds you all contented and well.
Hugs,
Z