Ain’t life grand? Just when you start to get comfortable and think you can relax a little is when the disaster strikes. Yup. I’ve noticed that about life, you know? And I haven’t been hit with a real good disaster for quite awhile, now. I guess it was overdue.

DH got his unexpected walking papers at work today. Yup. Fired. They’re downsizing the department, they say. Basically, I think they’re downsizing HIM because he was the highest-paid (and oldest) member on their development team, and just got through training…you guessed it! His own replacement. Wasn’t introduced as his replacement, of course - just a new teammember, which DH figured they needed because the work volume was supposed to increase rather dramatically after the first of the year. Riiiiiight.

Talked to DD’s at length and they’re demanding that he file a complaint for age discrimination. Maybe. In the meantime, we’re going to have to make some decisions pretty quickly. Frankly, we can’t afford these outrageously high mortgage payments without his paycheck. There’s a LOT we can’t afford without that, trust me. He’s got about $10,000 in earned time coming to him, which represents a little less than 5 mortgage payments - that is if I were to cover all the other expenses out of MY pay, which is next to impossible. I haven’t even BEGUN to strategize, because my mind is still reeling. I don’t want to throw that $10,000 down the drain and still end up with no house in the end. Maybe we SHOULD have been prepared for this sort of thing happening - especially in the IT world where a new “techhie” hits the deck running every 30 seconds, and since they all cut their teeth on videogames, they’re quick thinkers and innovative, imaginative…well, you get the picture. DH knows his stuff inside out, but it’s his stuff - old stuff, I guess.

But still, even knowing this, we were - and are - totally unprepared and still trying to come to grips with what this is going to mean over the short - and long - terms for us. My daughter owns a two-family house and has a nice, empty apartment that she’s often said how she wished DH and I would move into. I just always preferred having my own home where my kids would come to visit me. I never, ever wanted to live with any of them. AND, frankly, I’ve always enjoyed the fact that we had sufficient disposable income so that we could buy nice things for the grandkids (Just bought a gorgeous bedroom set for my granddaughter a couple of months ago.) We paid cash. Good thing, huh? We have about $11,000 worth of credit card bills which doesn’t make me happy, but the motor blew on my DS’s car about 15 minutes after the warranty ran out, and we put $6,000 and change on the card for that. The rest is our own stuff. DS can’t afford to pay on that - we’re just thrilled that he’s keeping his head above water out there in Cali. We have our two car payment, two insurance payments for the cars, one crappy and a few little credit card balances, the regular utilities, gas for the cars (and that’s a HUGE budget item), etc., etc.

Anyway, I suspect that even in this deflated market, we could get at least what we paid for the house and be able to move on - probably into the daughter’s house - unencumbered by too much overwhelming debt. In fact, I bet I know some people who would dearly LOVE to get a deal on this house…<sigh>

So, I don’t know where this will all lead. I guess that luxurious old age that I was hoping for isn’t going to materialize after all. <shrug> Well, on the bright side, I’m not hungry. Couldn’t even eat my supper, actually. When my stress level gets REALLY high, I lose my appetite - as opposed to the medium-high levels of stress that make me eat everything in sight. When I was going through my divorce - and for a couple or three years afterwards, I stayed at about 135, which trust me, is NOT my most optimum weight. I look my best, believe it or not, at 145 - 150. Well, I may get there sooner than expected. This has certainly blasted me out of my lethargy and into super-stress-fat-burner mode. You see? Every cloud has a silver lining, after all.

So, let’s see. I can be totally and completely depressed and go stick my head in the oven - but wait, no. That won’t work. It’s an electric stove. I might, at best, manage to singe my hair & eyelashes some, but that’s no fun. I actually considered, earlier tonight, having a few nice glasses of wine - just to mellow out a bit. I am SO not a drinker, and a couple of glasses would suffice to put me to sleep, without a doubt. But, I’ve got to go to work in the morning (somebody has to) and can’t risk waking up feeling crappy. So, I’m drinking chamomile tea. I’m on my second cup now, and my body is starting to feel a little less brittle.

Another new adventure. Another twist and turn that has popped up to teach me some lesson about life, but what?  To expect the unexpected? I mean people always say that, but do we ever REALLY expect the unexpected? I don’t honestly think so. If we expected it, it wouldn’t be unexpected, right?

Well. Somehow, my choices have all led to this. I don’t think I mind, actually. There’s always the Peace Corps, after all. And in the meantime, DS’s empty apartment is awfully nice. Less room, but how much room do two old geezers need, anyway? I would still have one guest bedroom for when DS visits home from L.A., and I don’t actually need extra guest bedrooms for anyone else. Most of this house sits empty 80% of the time. Maybe it needs a young and growing family to fill up all of its spaces.

Change happens. And we adjust. We always adjust. Men go to sleep and women adjust. We keep on keeping on. Until we don’t, anymore.

Hugs,

Z