On our oneness with all that is…..

I was at a meeting in Springfield, MA yesterday - a city plagued by violence, street gangs and poverty. Not neccessarily in that order, of course. Poverty undoubtedly comes first and the rest follow after like obedient baby ducks quacking and splashing their way behind a schizophrenic mama duck who invariably turns on her children and kills them. We who see all of this from the outside looking in tend, I think, to often depersonalize those who are caught in the sadly reoccurring cycle of poverty- frustration - discouragement - anger - violence, etc. I hear them referred to by any number of names and labels ranging from “victim” to “pepetrator” and everything in between. Frequently in my work I am called upon to write a story about some outrageousness, and wax hopeful about the ways in which we (we being the haves as opposed to the have-nots) are “making a difference” with our money, our programs, our “free holiday turkey baskets”.  And, when I collect my paycheck (or more accurately, note that it has been direct-deposited into my checking account) I sometimes have cause to feel guilty for profitting from the misery and hopelessness of others. Because, I reason, if not for them, mightn’t I be shackled with poverty? Mightn’t I be one of those empty-eyed mothers who must daily send their children forth to do battle in the streets of our cities for their very survival? And by what quirk of fate was I designated to be one of the more fortunate ones?

 And then, when it seems I am most depressed and discouraged at the state of humanity (after all, OUR cities aren’t even as bad as some throughout the world) I encounter a woman like the one I met yesterday - at 44, a single mother of four, grandmother of six, the only surviving sibling in a family of seven, and just now earning credits towards a bachelors degree in social work. She looks like a young Sophia Loren (for those of you old enough or interested enough in vintage film to remember who she was) and is highly intelligent, articulate and wryly humorous. She is someone I would be proud to have for a friend. She has encountered significant adversity in her life, and has, throughout it all, maintained an optimism that I think I lost several decades ago. Maybe there is hope, after all?

And, compared to her life-long climb from nothing to something, I feel pretty humble indeed, but I also recognize her as another woman rather than an icon…as another female person with hopes, dreams and desires not unlike my own. We shared a laugh, a mutually knowing glance, and a brief conversation following the meeting. She will be in court tomorrow, giving support to her aunt as her nephew’s killer is brought to trial. She feels no animosity - just sadness, and a sense that justice must somehow be served.

An old mentor of mine once referred to the social services system as “a bunch of people with nets trying to catch all the babies that have been thrown in the river upstream.” His contention was that we - as a society - needed to forget about our safety nets and STOP them from throwing the babies in the river in the first place.

Maybe someday.

And in the meantime, we all just keep on keeping on and hope for some mercy along the way.

And she - Maria - renewed my joy in the tenacity and strength of the human spirit to a very large degree. Her attitude reminded me that WE are responsible for our own reality; that we create it through our personal choices, and those choices exist on every level and in every circumstance.

So that’s a little heavy, but life is sometimes heavy, isn’t it?

We have choices. And that’s why I’m here writing this blog, and you’re here reading it (those few who click on “Down the Rabbit Hole”, that is). We have chosen to take control in one of the areas of our lives that we actually have complete control - our weight. And I LOVE your descriptions of your individual struggles, the ups, downs and all-arounds of who we are, where we are, and what we are hoping for. Aren’t we wonderful?

AND, today will be another successful WW day for me! I’m feeling really good with this, and will continue to feel good - and enthused - so long as I see a weight loss on Saturday. If I don’t, I may scream loudly and eat a candy bar. Or two.

Solidarity, women! We’re in this together!

E!