Learning to embrace the animal I am

I am ebracing the animal that I am. Realizing that I have biological needs that are based on a body design that has not caught up with the agricultural and industrial revolutions.

I am attempting to eat a lot more whole foods. And cooking from scratch or using ingredients with a lot less chemicals. I am avoiding refined carbs whenever possible. I am getting plenty of pure water. I am exercising more and more and feeling good for doing it. My blood sugars are better. My energy level is higher. My moods are more level. Even my nails are stronger and healthier.

I am amazed by how little food I need to consume to feel full when it’s the right kind of food. I overbuy because I’m sure I will need all sorts of snacks, but I don’t.

I am definitely working the Eat Well, Move Well, Think Well concept of adding things before taking away: add more vegetables before worrying about taking away chocolate for instance. And the idea is that you will naturally want less chocolate.

Another important component is figuring out what role the things that are known to be “bad choices” have in my life. At this point I truly don’t feel like I’m making many “bad choices” but one thing I am absolutely not willing to let go of is dessert. Every day.

Now I no longer have a huge bowl of ice cream with melted peanut butter, or 2-3 small peanut butter whoopie pies with milk, or brownies, etc. I am working on making the healthiest dessert choices possible. But. I want my dessert. Every day. I don’t feel satisfied without it.

I am putting a good amount of energy into finding the best sugar substitute for me - one that is as natural as possible, doesn’t affect my blood sugar (I’m finding I’m pretty sensitive to a lot of them) and is fairly inexpensive. I am putting a good amount of energy into researching recipes and into preparing them. Because I MUST have it.

I eventually want to get to a point where I can skip a day a week, then every other day, etc. But I need to figure out what role it plays and find another way to fill that need.

I am amazed at the things that I feel ok letting go of…pancakes. I made the mock pancakes that are more like a very eggy crepe, and they were ok, it wasn’t the same but I wasn’t all that disappointed. Soda. Juice. Chips. No biggy.

I know that I will have planned “bad days” when I have a few drinks or holidays like Thanksgiving. But I’ve come to terms with the fact that not for my weight, but for my health, for my survival, I have to do this. I want to see my son grow up. I want to live and I want a good quality of life.

I am worried about times of stress. Today was a stressful day..my son had a bad asthma attack so I was up before 5am. Got him situated and was about to take him to school when something “went” in my car. That meant not going to work. Turned out the rear frame in my car had rusted out. Now I needed a car. My husband applied for a car loan to get another used car but I was nervous as we had some credit issues at the first of the year. But I did ok, I grabbed a few unplanned handfuls of almonds but they are an ok on plan food. I also think I’m starting to PMS - my first since I started this life change. I am worried about that too.

But, the same way that I planned things out with weekend and did a great job when we to the movies and out to eat, I’ve just got to keep planning. Planning is the key to help me keeps things in check.