Today is Halloween! 
And I haven’t bought any candy for the kiddies yet. I usually buy it at least a week in advance and then pick at it a little bit each day. Hey…I know I’m weak so why struggle with temptation.
So far this week, I’m doing better and better with my diet. I definitely feel better about when, where and how much I’m eating. I’m starting to feel not as deprived and much more in control. Which is a great thing because I’ve been able to keep my cravings in check. The last two weeks, I’ve felt a little obsessive about my weight. I recognize that I’m becoming a slave to the scale again. So I’m going to put it away tonight and hopefully not drag it back out until Mon.
I’m happy to report that I’ve finally started working out again. I’ve put it off for far too long and was surprisingly enough starting to miss it. I’ve also finally started taking Salsa lessons!! My group class was Tues. night and I love, love, loved it! It was so much fun and not nearly as daunting as I thought it would be. A couple of my friends are going with me so we have something new and exciting to do on the weekends. We had grown tired of the club scene so we started going to wine tastings. Hoping that we could replace drunken dancing in dark crowded bars with sophisticated mingling amongst professionals who enjoy a glass of fancy wine from time to time. You know what we got? Even MORE drunk than usual! Wine tasting turned us into snotty wine connoisseurs aka Winos!
Plain and simple I’ve known that it was time to break up with booze if I want to get healthy and lose weight. Plus I’ve ALWAYS wanted to take dance lessons ever since I saw Patrick Swayze “Dirty Dance” with Jennifer Grey back in the 80’s. My desire to not look like a fool in class kicked in my desire to start working out again. I want to be able to keep up with the instructor and not pass out on my dance partner. (ex. Marie Osmond on Dancing with the Stars)
I’m starting to realize that a part of self-acceptance is accepting everything about yourself and making it work for you. I know that seems like a very simple concept but it’s something I definitely NEVER realized before. In the past, I believed that self-acceptance was about finding a way to ignore any negative feeling you might have about yourself. And just put on a brave smile and pretend to be happy until you actually start to feel that way. I was soooo wrong….I now think it’s more about loving the good AND bad things about yourself. And manipulating your life in a way that let’s the qualities that we perceive to be “bad” about ourselves actually help us achieve our goals. Not sure if that makes sense…but it does in my head! (Ex. I don’t like to workout but we when I do I feel so much better. I’m more able to deal with stress, sleep better, and am just happier in general. The downfall is that when I work out consistently I tend to get a bit obsessive.)
In a effort to channel my all-or-not attitude into something more positive, I’m finally taking dance lessons. It’s a win-win situation because I automatically started thinking about working out again. Being active motivates me to eat better, take my supplements and stop drinking. So in the end, changing one thing has set off a domino effect in multiple other areas of my life. I’m still a slightly crazy person with a touch of OCD but now I’m using my powers for good! 
Well…that’s it for now. I need to get some breakfast in me. And make a run to the store for candy. I’ll probably get the kids something truly sugary and gross that only a small child could enjoy. It’s a small sacrafice but I need to stay away from sweets so I have the energy to move my hips to the Latin beat!
Filed under: Week 4 (10/27 - 11/02) on October 31st, 2008 | No Comments »
Just in time to destroy my recently earned 3 lb weight loss. I know it’s only water weight but it’s still depressing to see the scale jump. Plus, I’m in so much pain that I’m finding it hard to move around much. And my attention span is about 5 seconds long.