Triumphs & Trials

I hate it when I do this, but I yet again used the weekend to slack off. I do this all the time and say to myself that on Monday I’ll start back up. It’s definitely not a good way to go at it, especially because on Monday I’d rather just continue on in the old way and forget this crazy path altogether.

I’m proud to say that today I didn’t do that. Instead of slacking off I’ve gotten up and done some exercise. Today I used our Gazelle, but I’m not sure that I’ll be doing that much longer. It really doesn’t seem like a natural motion for the body and to top it off about half way through my workout it started creaking like crazy. Not only was that really distracting but troublesome as I was sure it was going to give out on me at anytime. That feeling really wasn’t conducive to continuing on and getting the full benefit of using the machine.

I think I’m going to go back to using my WATP dvds. I’ve used them before and I think I lost weight while using them. The last time I used them on a regular basis I wasn’t keeping track of any measurments or weight, so I have no idea. I do know that I felt better when I was using them and I really think that’s the real test of anything, that you’re doing is that you feel better while doing it.

I know I’ve heard it before but it’s definitely a matter of finding something that I know I can do everyday.

Cheers!

No new insights for today.

Actually, I’m rather proud of myself today. I didn’t exercise the way I’d planned, but I did get some in which is always a good thing. Then to top it off I was able, finally, to exercise some food impulse control at lunch. It’s funny how something as simple as saying no to more food could make a big difference in the way I’m feeling, but it definitely did. It’s one of the things I need to work on so today was a great step forward for me.

So all in all it was an ok day. No breakdowns, but then again no breakthroughs.  For now, I think it’s a really steady place to be.

Oh! And I thought I’d mention that I’ve started tracking my progress with my goals online at “Joe’s Goals.com.” I’d definitely recommend the site. It’s got an easy to use layout, and a feature that let’s you write a little about your progress or what you did that day. I believe it’s also got code that will let you post your goal tracking results on other sites/blogs to let others see your progress. I haven’t tried it yet, but I will be probably on Saturday. We’ll see how it works. Oh and as a side note, I stuck a link up to the site on this blog’s sidebar.

Cheers!

So, I’ve already considered stopping this and I haven’t even been at it for 24 hours.

It’s exactly the kind of thing I always do, and the kind of thing I’m trying to avoid this time around. I thought maybe that writing down my fear this time would help. I think that I had this overwhelming urge to stop because I was afraid of what might come of this. There are so many things that could come of doing this, and my biggest concern, as always, is being seen failing at something. I never want to be seen doing the wrong thing, or drawing negitive attention to myself, so in the end I tend to just do nothing and stay out of any kind of spotlight.

I think this whole this is part of the reason that I tend to fail at exercise. I always feel that I’m doing something wrong and that I look foolish. I don’t want to look that way, I shy away from it. So in the end I tend to stop so I can sit on the couch and not fail at that.

I feel very uncomfortable putting myself out there and I kind of think, that in the back of my mind I think that losing weight will thrust me out of this comfort zone I’ve built behind it. It’s like if I’ve overweight no one will see me, or look at me closer than the surface and not see who I really am. I’m afraid that if people see who I really am they won’t want to get to know me and I’ll be alone. So, in the end I build up the walls myself so I don’t have to worry about others making the decision. I can do it myself.

Talk about a fresh start. A new blog for a brand new attitude.

I’ve decided that today is the day I need to start actually working at losing weight. I talk a big game, but I never walk that same path. I’m constantly saying to myself that I need to get rid of this extra weight. I’m constantly starting exercise, but never keeping it up. I’m also constantly trying to eat well and slipping up a couple of days into the process, and once I slide I just keep on falling downward.

So, I guess the thing is to figure out how I’m actually going to do this. I need to start and keep exercising. That’s my biggest thing. I have the hardest time motivating myself to go that far. I can start, do a couple of great days and then I miss a day. Once I miss a day I typically have trouble just jumping right back on the next day. It’s not for lack of things to do either.

I don’t know. I’m hoping that making myself write in this everyday will help me to stick to my plan.

I’m thinking about doing a weekly picture post, in which I also post my measurements and weights. We’ll see. I’m going to build this as it goes. My biggest thing is just to keep myself motivated.

Cheers!