day one

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I made this pasta for lunch… whole wheat pasta tossed with tomatos, garlic, spring onions, fresh basil, a little olive oil and for a little sweetness I put in a half a packet of splenda. And I have to say it was very very good… fresh. 

So, today is day one… of many, many days. I’m not looking at this in any other way but I’m now eating healthy and moving more. As far as my cravings for sweets and such… I’m just gonna have to man up and push through it… just like a cigarette craving.

I am now at 184. I’ve gained 10 lbs since I had the baby. Wow, that sucks. But pouting about it now isn’t gonna do any good, is it?

thinking about 2009

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I love my husband. He’s a very good man. And sometimes it amazes me how I fall for him over and over again. He’s kind hearted, strong, a wonderful dad, fun, intelligent… there are so many things about him that make me proud to call myself his wife. I don’t know what made me write this. I guess I was just thinking about it.

So, once again we approach a new year and I’m thinking of things that I would like to do in the next 12 months. They haven’t changed from last year around this time, really. Take better care of myself, lose weight, create closer relationships with God, my husband and the kids… I really want this to be the year that I do these things. I mean I REALLY want this to be the year. I’ve already enlisted the family to eat healthy with me and to start exercising. Sis is on board. I think J is too. He’s just not as excited about it. But he was game to shop for plenty of fruits and veggies and such. So, that’s a good sign.

I spent the $25 gift card from Wal-mart the folks gave everyone this year for Christmas on skin care products. So far so good. I also got my eyes checked and bought some contacts and got my hair cut. I even wore earrings today. I almost felt like a girl again. It’s just so hard to feel cute when I have all of this extra weight on me. I just have to do something about this. Tomorrow is the day I start… not a diet but a new way of life. My goals are to eat a healthy diet of lots a fresh fruits and veggies, lean protein and complex carbs, workout 5 days per week, go out for a walk in the fresh air when I get a chance, take care of my skin and teeth, create a closer relationship with God, be more affectionate with my husband and spend more QUALITY time with the kids.

So, here we go…

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I hope everyone had a good Christmas. We enjoyed our day very much. Sis woke us up very excited that Santa had come. It’s so much fun, so darn cute when she’s so excited.

I’m feeling pretty yucky today. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m having aches and pains like I’m getting the flu again. Goodness I hope not.

I’m feeling pretty low about myself today… fat… ugly… I weighed in at 180 lbs this morning. I just purged all of the sweet crap everyone gave us. Threw it all into the garbage. Cookies, candies, pie, cupcakes… all of it. But going to the in-laws for pizza tonight and J’s mom made a bunch of sweets.

Isn’t it crazy… the power of food? I mean here I am wanting something like looking good, feeling better so bad I can taste it but I can’t stop eating stuff that’s bad for me. It really sucks.

all together now

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Yesterday was a pretty rotten day at our house. Sis had the flu, I felt like my head was going to explode with this cold thing and J started coming down with the flu last night. I feel better today… still just a little stuffy. Sis is going thru the hot flash phase and doesn’t ache every where anymore but poor J is smack dab in the middle of the rough part of that flu. Trent seems to be just fine.

I don’t know what I did with those darn legs to my little trampoline. I’ve looked everywhere. So, now do I let the rest of it take up all that space I can’t really afford to lose in my closet in hopes that the legs will pop up soon or do I toss it out. Anyway, I’m going to start with the walk away the pounds videos again. Yesterday, was a very bad day for eating. I finished off the small birthday cake… and thru the other one away. I forgot it was in the oven to keep it safe from the cats as it didn’t have a lid on it. I turned on the oven and made a big fat mess. Anyway, it’s gone. AND I finished off the peanut butter cookies. What the hell is wrong with me? The day started out just fine… breakfast was one egg with a whole wheat english muffin and two tangerines. Lunch was carrots, brocoli and cauliflower with roasted chicken and just a smidge of ranch dressing for dipping. Then all hell broke lose. oh well try again today, I suppose.

oh come on, now!

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So, I get over the flu now I have a terrible cold. What the heck is going on? And it couldn’t just be one of those sniffles only colds has to be sinus aches, running nose, watery eyes, sore throat… ugh!

Poor little T got my flu. He’s the little 1 year old I take care of. Poor little guy. He just layed on the couch all day yesterday. I called his folks and told them they needed to buy some pedialite because he wasn’t eating, barely drinking anything and pooping like crazy.

One good thing about the flu… I lost 5 pounds. It’s probably water weight but it still looks prettier on the scale. I’ve been looking for the legs to my little trampoline. Darn it anyway! I’ve been doing good with food… well… not as good as I should be but better anyway… considering that I have a birthday cake from J and Sis, a birthday cake from Mom, a box of Christmas cookies and assorted fudge from the lady across the street and a batch of peanut butter cookies Sis and I whipped up today (for something fun to do together) sitting in my kitchen. Sweets… that’s my weakness. I really should just cut them out all together. If I didn’t eat things like that I wouldn’t be fat. The rest of my diet is pretty good. And watching fitTV’s cooking shows  and that show You Are What You Eat helps alot. Tonight for dinner I made Chimichitos from “Just Cook This” it’s just chicken (he used rotisserie from the store. I used part of a chicken breast I put in my little crock pot) with salsa heated together in a pan, wrapped in a tortilla and baked at 350 for 15-20 minutes. I had mine with a smidge of light sour cream. Yep, that was good. Better than what I would’ve had at our normal mexican restaraunt, cheaper and much, much healthier.  I have several things I want to try from that show.

Tomorrow we go Christmas shopping. We usually do everything in one day. We’ll drop the kids off at my mother in laws… which will be the first time I’m away from Trent without being at the doctor or in the hospital. Then, off to the eye doctor to hopefully get some contacts and glasses. Then, start shopping. Should be fun… exhausting but fun.

I need to get some sleep. I can’t wait to start feeling better, finally! Good night.

Yucky flu

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Blah! So, Friday I started feeling some body aches, Saturday was a little worse, Sunday even worse and yesterday was the grand finale. Wow, that sucked. Ya know, the entire body aches from the fingers to the toes, weak… kind of flu. Must’ve gotten while in one of these doctors offices. I sure hope the kids don’t get it. So far so good. I went from healing up from the surgery right into the flu. I’m feeling better today though. A little weak and tired but better.

Thanks so much for the support you guys. I’ve been trying to catch up on everyone but it’s taking me some time. I have decided that nap time for the boys during the day is going to be “my time” since once Sis gets home from school it’s non stop with dinner, clean up, baths, etc. until I crash. The boys are excellent nappers usually a good 2 hours. Perfect for an hour of whatever, 1/2 hour cleaning and maybe a half an hour of exercise.

The boys came back today after a week of them not being here. So, they haven’t had any therapy all week. I’m not going do any extra with them, though. I’ll just start off like any other day. They always enjoy it so much. Speak of the little devils, all three of them are starting to wake up now.

Well, I’m gonna start eating healthier now. Good time for it I think.

yada yada

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So, I got my tubes tied on Monday. It’s kinda sad to know that I’ll never feel that first kick, hiccup or to see that baby that I’ve kept safe inside me for 9 months. But I’m realistic. I have the perfect little family and I’m more than happy with that. I’ve been out of commission a little longer than I had expected. I should have planned better for it as my healthy habits effort has taken a big ol’ dump. Lesson learned. I think I need to plan my meals for the week, all meals and all snacks, make a list and shop for it maybe buying extra fruits and veggies. What I know is that if I’m having “a day” and the easiest, quickest thing to eat is crap… I’m gonna eat crap. So, I need to make sure I’m eating before I’m grabbing crap out of the pantry willy nilly. I do much better with pretty much everything in my life if I sit down and work it out before it comes time to actually deal with it. I don’t make good decisions in a rush, that’s for sure. I don’t want to count calories everyday but I can come up with a healthy meal plan once a week and shop for it… maybe even prepare somethings so all they need at lunch time is a pop in the microwave when I’m trying to make lunch for the boys and feed the baby and get the laundry out of the dryer before they wrinkle. I’ll get there. I have to. I feel more unhealthy everyday.

The fam is doing well. J and I are at a great place in our relationship. I can’t believe how well we’re doing. Who would have thought that all I had to do was open my mouth and tell him what I need? Maybe even get a little sassy now and then. Trent is good… more and more handsome everyday. He’s smiling a lot and making everyone else smile right along with him. Sis is doing great in school. The teacher said she’s a smidge ahead of where they expect them to be at this point of the year. :) She listens to the teachers and has already began to seperate herself from the “trouble makers” in the class. We couldn’t be any more proud of her. She’s asked Santa for big ticket items this year. She probably figures he can afford it more than mom and dad.:) We explained that the economy is hard on everyone right now even Santa. Ya know, since he has to pay the elves, feed the raindeer and pay for the supplies to build the toys… so maybe Santa won’t be able to bring the go-cart or princess moped thing she asked for. She understands completely and she’ll leave Santa a note with the cookies telling him so.

The Christmas tree is up and our 19 (yes, 19) cats have been pretty well behaved so far. They mostly like laying under it and drinking the water from the base. I know 19 cats seems crazy. And it is. But it means a lot to my husband and that makes it okay. I’m here to keep the house clean and most people never guess we have that many until we tell them.

The boys are doing well. I have 3 therapists that visit them weekly to work with them and show me exercises I can do with them. I work with each of them about 1/2 an hour a day. T is 1 and is at a 7 month old level and just starting show interest in crawling. P is 2 and is an 11 month old level. He just started walking, doesn’t talk and has several other issues that I would have had looked into by now if I were his parents. I’ve had several visits with human services reguarding the boys. They stop in and check in on them and are happy they are doing well here. It makes me feel good… like I have a purpose… an important one. This “job” is a perfect fit for me. I wish I would have realized it a long time ago. It’s more work than any out of the home job I’ve ever had but it’s so worth it for so many reasons.

I’ve had and still have so many appointments this month. See, I was on medical assistance since I was pregnant. But I’m off of it at the end of the month. So, no more help with doctors, dentists etc… I know it may sound bad but I need to take advantage of it while I have it. We can’t afford insurance for me thru J’s work so I won’t have anything. So, I’m getting blood work done, talking to doctors about switching me to generic prescriptions, getting my tooth that’s breaking apart pulled, cavities filled and eyes checked before it happens.

Well, I’m gonna do some meal planning and get my little trampoline out of my closet and find a place for it in the living room. My birthday is this week… 35… not a spring chicken any more… I need to start taking care of myself.

changing my ways

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Thanks, Ruby! I just get so obsessed when I count calories. I have plenty to do without trying to figure out how many calories are in anything.

I’ve been watching fit tv. I’m spoiled with Direct TV now… and the dvr.. what a wonderful little invention. Anyway, there’s this guy “Sam the cooking guy” who has a show called “Just Eat This” I love it and am very excited to get to the store and start trying some of his recipes. They all look yummy… and healthy… and quick with easy cleanup. Gotta like that… I’ve been keeping the station tuned for most of the day. It tends to change a girls mind on the tortilla chips with melted pepper jack if you look over and see skinny minnies dancing around on a workout show or how it’s just as easy to choose something healthy on a cooking show.

So, my concentration is on changing habits. I mean for crying out loud I quit smoking, right!?!? I can certainly stop drinking Dr. Pepper and eating crap. Of coarse it doesn’t help when J wants a pan of brownies baked or muffins or cookies. I’ve tried to explain it to him. But he doesn’t get it. But I should remind him he’s not so thin around the middle anymore either and should maybe start eating healthier. Or maybe when he quits smoking (again) I should leave an opened pack of cigs and a lighter next to the coffee maker and see how well that goes for him. I don’t know. In the long run I put what I put in my mouth and no one is holding a gun to my head. I could try to bake healthier… maybe some bran muffins or something. It’s just a matter of learning a different way, right?

As far as working out…? That’s a good question. I’m still working on when I’ll be able to get that in. I’d love to start jogging again but have decided that I need to wait until the weather warms up in the spring a smidge. I might go out for some walks on nicer days this winter though. I’ll get it figured out. I’ll just do the 10/10/10 for now like Ruby suggested.

For now I’m weaning myself from my beloved Dr. Pepper. That would be something J and I have enjoyed for years and he’s nowhere near ready to give that up. I’ve done pretty well the last couple of days… one a day… down from 3-4 a day. I’ve had a horrible headache but I’m pushing through… it will get better. Pop is so bad for the body and cutting out 3 sodas at 210 calories a bottle is a pound a week lost just on it’s own.  And I’m trying to eat more fresh fruit and veggies and lean protein, trying to cut out sweets and eat smaller portions more often.

So, I’m at 179.5 (more than I thought I was)… I would put a goal weight but I’m not trying to concentrate on that right now… just changing habits to be healthier.  But I’ll weigh in now and again maybe once a week or so to see if I’ve lost anything.

here we go again

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So, I’m going to try to lose this weight… again. Every year I say that this IS going to be the year with all of the excitement I can muster. This last year I sort of had an excuse… being pregnant. So this year I have no excuses. I’m going to try really hard to not get all OCD about it. Ya know… figure out how many calories I should have to maintain my current weight, how many calories I should cut to lose X amount of pounds per week, how long it will take me to reach 125 lbs. losing X amount of pounds … and if it will be by summer.Then, endlessly count every single calorie that goes into my mouth and every calorie I’ve burnt off with my workout that day, writing everything down in my calendar and thinking to myself I’ve saved this much this week and burnt this much so when I weigh in tomorrow I should have lost this much. Yep that’s what I do. It becomes all I think about. It’s at all nothing I can keep up with for a short period of time let alone a life time. And isn’t that what I’m trying to do… change my life.

He’s here!

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Trent was born on October 19th at 5:30 am… a whopping 9 lbs. 6 oz. and 22 inches long! He was very anxious to come into the world. My water broke around 2:50 am and we got to the hospital about 3:20 am. By the time the nurse checked me I was already at 7 cm… which means too late for an epidural (!) He was born at 5:30 am. He had to be in NICU for 36 hours because his oxygen levels kept dropping. But thanks to all of the incredible nurses and doctors, he’s fine and we felt safe that he was in good hands the entire time. He is such a handsome little guy and such a good baby… just like his sister was. She by the way, is an incredible big sister and very proud of her little brother. A baby is such a little blessing.

I’m doing well. I only took 2 weeks off from watching the boys. It’s just a money thing. I wish I would have had more time with just our family but what can ya do? Now, I’m thinking about starting to workout again, start eating right, blah blah blah. Of course, finding time to take a shower isn’t even an easy task, let alone work out. J isn’t very hands on with the baby. I didn’t expect him to be, I guess. But a little time to myself would be very nice… just to go for a walk and hopefully start running again. Now it’s getting pretty cold and I can’t take Trent with me in the stroller. So, unless I go around 5am (if Trent happens to be fed, happy and asleep) when it’s dark and cold or at night when J gets home (if Trent happens to be fed, happy and asleep) when it’s dark and cold, it’s pretty much impossible, I think. I’ll figure something out… I guess I’ll just bundle up, where something reflective and go when it’s dark and cold.

Anyway, I only weigh a couple of pounds more then I did before I got pregnant. I think around 175 now. I’ll have to weigh myself in the morning. So, I’m thinking I’ll be happy if I can start eating healthy food, kick my Dr. Pepper “addiction” and start walking (at first). It would be nice to lose about a pound a week. Not very gung ho, I know but slow and steady wins the race. If I could do that I would be around 140ish in May. That would be just fine with me.

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