Fighting the Dark Cloud of pudge!!

I am actually finding this fatt dialogue worthwhile.  At this point I think I have more than one challenge to overcome.  I have concluded that at times I eat to reward myself.  That is, “I am a good person so I deserve some chocolate”.  In part I think it stems from being given candy as a reward by my Mother (and if we can’t blame our Moms, who can we blame?!!) and in part I think it fulfills this desire to always be everything to everyone!  So, because I have been soooo good to everyone else, I reward myself.

It reminds me in part of a line from the movie Holiday (with Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz) where Kate’s character Iris says something to the effect  of “I should at least be the leading lady in my own life!”.  I think I have to start taking the lead and be more selfish.  I need to do what is good for me and not try to be the best employee and the best daughter and the best dog owner and the best wife.  BECAUSE when I neglect myself I really cannot be any of those things.

As I said, I think this is part of the problem.  I think there are more problems that will be unearthed with more dialogue.  Still, this is actually helping me when I make decisions about food.  I still make some wrong decisions, but not quite as many.

Cheers