Fighting the Dark Cloud of pudge!!

Perhaps I am just philosophical, but I cannot help but wonder why we continue to have this weight problem- all of us.  Each time I log on I read a few blogs. Some people list what they eat and berate themselves for having too many or too much.  Others talk about their journey.  (Am I only the one who immediately clicks the “back” key when I find a blog which lists the daily exercise and eating rituals?!!  I know everyone’s blog has a purpose in their own life…and we all have a journey,…but I find those blogs so depressing!  <If you write one of those it is only fair for me to accept that you probably hate my blog!>) Really, I see variations of the same blog (mine included) over and over again.  If only this was an obvious war where we could band together and take down the enemy. Imagine how successful we could all be.  Dive bombing them with our accumulative excess pounds alone…..

Yesterday was such a great day- until I realized I did not have the wardrobe to match.  Today was not so great.  My students are driving me nuts (21 more days until exams!!) and I had to go to a Memorial for a family friend.  Yes, I know that means I had two memorials in two weeks.  But honestly, I do not think I had a death aura!  I hope that is it for a while.  (besides next month I have to deal with my first Father’s Day without a Dad *sniff*)

The family friend had also been our Member of Parliament.  In a previous life I spent about 25 years in politics.  (I started VERY young as my Mom was a volunteer).  Isn’t odd how you can leave a “life” and when you glimpse back it looks so baaaaaad.  All the people I was “friends” with have moved onto being lobbyists.  They work every hour god gave them glad handing, but they make pretty good money I am sure.  Now that I am not in politics, I have no real use to them so I barely get a greeting.  These are people I drove across the province with, shared meals with, worked closely with.  Now it is “we must do lunch some time” brush off.  Not that I really want to be back in their lives, but perhaps I am oversentimental in thinking there should be a slight loyalty even to last one drink!

Of course, I left there feeling totally inadequate because I no longer was in politics.  Really, I do not know why I felt inadequate.  In my world I am doing ok.  I have a decent job, a nice boyfriend, a comfortable condo, AND the world’s cutest dog.  I do not spend my hours “befriending” people I do not trust or even like because they are a good contact.  (not that this makes them bad people). So, why I felt inadequate or why I even considered their opinion of any value, I do not know.  I do know I spent some time with my good friend, Cadbury Dairy Milk, pondering it all. Although to my credit I actually thought about whether Cadbury would make me feel better before shoving it all (ok, half a large bar) into my mouth.  A few months ago there would not have been a debate.  So, maybe I am getting better at dealing with these things. One must look at the small steps of success and be proud, right?

Emotionally and mentally I am trying to figure out how so many of us can have such similar problems and be on such similar journies with such little success.  Admit it.  Even when we lose some we feel compelled to overeat and get all those lovely pounds back in hugging distance.  Perhaps if I meditate on it I can figure it all out and then we can all live happily, thinnly, and more healthily ever after.