Fighting the Dark Cloud of pudge!!

Thank you so much for your support everyone.  Moon Fairy, I would love to tell you that this is a rare occurrence in schools but it is not.  I worry that we share the building with a daycare!!!  I contacted one of my friends who is a principal with the safe schools area - so she moves the kids who cause problems basically.  She told me she was punched in the eye once - and that was a much “better” school than mine.

The problem with my school is that alternative schools can become dumping grounds for problem kids if the people running it let it.  The person before me was sooooo determined to become a VP that she kissed any #ss to get promoted.  This, unfortunately was why she allowed tons of unsuitable kids into our school.

Who should be in our school?  I am not going to say that our client base are “stepford” kids, but usually they have had some hard knocks; they are kids who dropped out etc but at 16 or 17 saw they were going no where so went back to school.  They want to be in school.  Even the spitter did really well when she wasn’t freaking out - which sadly happened too often.  I am only allowing kids who want to make a difference in their lives in.  My admin team is still letting problems we should not take in, but as I refused to sign the registration papers, and as they are not on site all that often, we only get one or two problems rather than 15 or 20.

But as a Special Education specialist (although my present school is not special ed) I dealt with some kids like these in other schools.

Other than ignoring my diette all together, I see today I am actually down 5!  Ok, I had gone up to a new all time high last week, but either it was “fake” fatte, or those leptin pills are actually starting to work!  I will keep you posted on that.

Difficult time to be job searching…

Cheers!

Well, things are just as stressful as I last wrote (or was it the post before).  This week one student cut her finger badly (requiring stitches) in cookig class just 10 minutes before the scheduled lock down drill.  (do you know we now do drills for a lockdown situation as well as fire drills?!!).  As there is a daycare and another small school in our building - and a bad PA system - we have to schedule these things carefully so I had to go ahead with that.  Of course (being my school) the 16 year old’s mother REFUSED to take her to the hospital to which the kid kindly screamed “F off Mom” loudly into the phone, in the girls washroom with the door open so it echoed through out our small school.  Warms the heart that these people have kids, doesn’t it?

I sent the child youth worker off with the kid to get stitches (the kid later decided she had waited long enough and took off before she got the stitches!).   Two very tall (over 6′) boys decided to fight it out in the caf.  I am too small to stop them, but one teacher is 6′4″ so he stood between them.  One still managed to smack the other one once or twice by reaching around the teacher.  Both boys were AMAZED to be suspended.  Moms are due to come in with them on Monday morning.

Yesterday three fights broke out, including the same cut finger girl (did I mention she is on house arrest for trafficking cocaine?) swearing at me.  When I told her to go home she spit in my face but we did get her off school property while I called the police.  They actually showed up about 45 minutes later which is fast for a low grade assault like this.  The kid did phone and apologize before the police arrived and I did tell them but as she threatened to throw a full can of coke in my face before she spit at me, they felt that even if I did not charge her she would be charged by the detective who will be assigned to the case.  Police convinced her to come to school to talk to them (with the threaten of a warrant for her arrest if she didn’t).  One spoke to her and when the other on added something she told the second officer she was not talking to her, swore, spit in her face!  At that time they decided to cuff her (in front of the school) but she resisted arrest.

They did get her into the back of the cruiser and she kicked the window out causing glass to cut the officer’s face.  They radioed that an officer was assaulted which brought a guy with a video camera to the scene.  As he was not on school property I could not remove him but he assured me that as she is a minor her face would be blurred out.  He claimed to be with the tv station but as his truck had no markings I have my doubts.

Where was the principal and VP during all of this??  (Oh and 12 kids decided to just walk out of the school while I was contending with this).  I had called when I was spit on.  I sent an email when I spoke to the police, but my admin team obviously thought they did not have to bother coming to my school.  In fact, I called them after school and they said they were just going to call the girl.  I pointed out that she is now in jail and most likely not even being granted bail.  I was informed that she will gt a 20 day suspension - with a restraining orde that she cannot come near the school or me.  During the 20 days they will do the paper work to expel her completely.

So, my dears, please do not take it to heart that I have not been online lately!  As for me, I have to go to the dr’s because it is possible that I got spit in my eye - which means I have the body fluid of a known drug user in my body!  I actually do not think this is a problem but I figured I would see the dr on work time and not mess my weekend up with it!  Naturally, I am looking for a new job!  I did, in fact, tell my admin team earlier this week that I will not fulfill my contract (hey they did misrepresent the job somewhat) of two years.  Technically I have to stay until the end of the year, but I am not sure now that I will.  We will see what postings come up!

So..how was your week??

Cheers!

Thanks for the great comments on my last blog.  It is nice I have so much support here.

On a happier note, today I was honoured at a conference by the Ontario government.  Roughly 10 years ago when I was a training coordinator there, I created a conference for the clerical staff.  They were widely overlooked for training for quite some time.  The conference I created was in such demand that we had a second conference to accommodate the 250 on the waiting list!  Fast forward and now not only have there been conferences for almost 10 years, but each year there are three in the greater Toronto area so that those in the east and west do not have to venture downtown.  I also learned that all across the province they are holding annual conferences using my original template (which I wrote up as a manual).  Really, I would have been more careful with my proof reading if I had known it would last the test of time!

Apparently a patchwork quilt was made of legacies in the provincial goverment and the conference has its own patch! Needless to say I was a proud mama today!  It had been my plan to start the conferences but eventually to have enough clerical staff trained that they could take it over and then train the next leaders etc.  Well over time these people have gained skills and moved on with their careers.  Coincidentally, now two of the chairs hold training positions I had had in the govt - the one I held when I started the conference and the one I held when I left the goverment.

Personally, I always thought the fact that 1/2 of my committee went onto promotions was as impressive as the actual conference.

This certainly lifted my spirits (as well as getting your emails!)

Cheers!

Last week was a tough one.  We started the new quad (as we are a year round school we have 4 quads rather than two semesters) on November 10th.   I learned one of my students was killed (execution style) in Alberta on Novmember 9th.  (I do teach some difficult students).  All accounts in the paper make him sound like such a bad kid.  From my perspective, he was trying to turn his life around when he came to our school.  He was polite, always had a warm smile and greeting, and managed to get two credits in credit recovery.  It seemed things were starting to go right for him.  No one really knows why he was in Alberta - and the death was drug related.  He was no angel - on probabtion for some assault charge that happened long before he came to our school.  Add to that, his cousin is an aspiring child youth worker who is doing a placement in our school.  So much pain there.

One of the 18 year old gang students showed up DEMANDING that I readmit him to our school.  We are a 16 - 18 year old school.  As he was 18, and never attending, I brought him in at the end of the last quad, gave him information of a nearby school for 18 - 21 year olds and sent him off.  He came back swearing at me (seems he did not bother to go on the dates I wrote down for him so when he did bother to go they were full).  When I asked him to stop swearing he sent the pile of work on my desk (and the remaining donuts for the students) flying across my office, puffed himself up (rather like the hulk), blocked my doorway and tried to intimidate me.  Being me, I walk right up to him, pointed to the door and told him to get the hell out of the school or I would call the police.  He continued a steady stream of swearing so I slammed my office door in his face.  After a few seconds I opened the door and the office manager was standing there.  She had heard me screaming from down the hall and came to investigate. (The only other time she had heard me yell was when my dog ran into the daycare centre on the property) I advised her that if he ever came onto our property again to immediately call the police as he was trespassing.  It took me hours to get over that experience.

On Thursday my Uncle died down in FLA.  I had hoped to get down to the service but I guess my Aunt wasn’t expecting us.  His service was Sunday at 11:30am and neither I, nor my cousins from England, could make it down in time.

Needless to say…waitte and diette went out the window!

This week, the caseworker for the kid who threatened me actually called to try to get me to admit him back into the school!  You can imagine my response.  Seems he can’t get his welfare cheque if he is not in school.

All in all, the rules I put into place last quad (I was new then) seem to have brought most of the kids into line.  Of the previous group only a handful- who skipped too much to know the climate in the school had changed - are causing any problems.  The new kids I interviewed and let in are our true demographic - kids who made some mistakes but have seen the light and want to get their high school credits.  The students are actually enjoying coming to school and asking if their friends can register for the next quad starting in February.  Although the numbers are down in most high schools in Toronto (housing costs are very high), our numbers are up.  On that front, things are looking really good.

Oddly enough I asked one of the long time teachers (granted the school has only been in existence for four years) to arrange the staff Holiday dinner.  She said they never had one before!  A supply teacher who knows me well was standing there and said “There’s a new sheriff in town!”

Just wanted to let you all know why I have been quiet. Just lots on my plate…both figuratively and literally!

Cheers!

I have started taking leptin after reading an article about it.  Seems that all of those artificial sweeteners have screwed with the leptin levels in our brains.  Leptin signals us when it is time to stop eating. The first month of taking it balances the levels.  Apparently the second month there is a waitteloss.  I will keep you posted.

Not much new here.  Enjoyed two weeks off (although I was sick with a cold for part of it and even had to skip seeing Jersey Boys!).  Sadly I am returning to work tomorrow.  Never rested enough to face those teaching challenges.  AND I am teaching this semester.  It is a grade10/11 English class.  Should prove interesting.  Or maybe not!

My waitte has remained more or less the same.

As you can see, not much to report!

Cheers!

Well it seems that my chats have sparked a mutiny!  Some came back, and I caught an awful cold!  Could it be chocolate has been saving me from all of this??

On vacation this week and heading to CT on Friday.  I think I will be well enough to drive down, but I wasn’t well enough to see Jersey Boys this afternoon.  Glad I bought one of the cheaper tickets!  My night class is going to see The Secret Life of Bees this evening.  Theatre is not far from home so DH will drive me and pick me up.  He is a wonderful hubby.  I can’t very well send a supply teacher!

We finally went through the 400 plus wedding photos.  DH is putting them onto a website so I should have more for you later on that.  I do regret not losing waitte now that I see the photos.

I will restart the chats once the cold is gone.  I am thinking that maybe dates and tahini could replace chocolate.  It is sweet and tastes much better than it sounds.  Not sure how much better it is fatte wise, but who knows.  Also I have been reading up on leptin.  I got some pills which are supposed to balance the leptin so I will let you know on that front.  Apparently it takes 2 months and I am not starting until the cold is over.

That’s about it here.  Sadly, no lottery winnings!

Cheers!

What a week this has been!  I was so surprised when my staff presented me with a thank you card and a $30 starbucks card at the weekly school assembly.  Later they said they know I take a beating from the admin for them and as I always show them that I appreciate them, they wanted me to know that I am appreciated!  THEN the day after one of the teachers gave me a bottle of a vodka cosmopolitan and a large box of ferraro roche to thank me for helping him get a night school teaching gig and one with virtual school.  SO that was nice.

And my chats with the fatts is still going well.  I have been paying close attention to the rewarding myself eating and reduced it considerably.  My real reward is a 3.5 loss this week!  I had been quite disenchanted when I stayed at 201 for the week but today the scale jumped down to 198.5.  YAY!

My conversations have not ended.  I have noticed the reach for the sweets whenever I am stressed or depressed.  That is the next thing I am working on.  After some logical assessment I am wondering if I can switch fruit for the chocolate. I know it is a stretch, and I will have to look at a variety of fruits, but we will see.  I am guessing watermelon may help if I can keep it handy.  So that talks contintue.

I will try to log in more often.

I am actually finding this fatt dialogue worthwhile.  At this point I think I have more than one challenge to overcome.  I have concluded that at times I eat to reward myself.  That is, “I am a good person so I deserve some chocolate”.  In part I think it stems from being given candy as a reward by my Mother (and if we can’t blame our Moms, who can we blame?!!) and in part I think it fulfills this desire to always be everything to everyone!  So, because I have been soooo good to everyone else, I reward myself.

It reminds me in part of a line from the movie Holiday (with Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz) where Kate’s character Iris says something to the effect  of “I should at least be the leading lady in my own life!”.  I think I have to start taking the lead and be more selfish.  I need to do what is good for me and not try to be the best employee and the best daughter and the best dog owner and the best wife.  BECAUSE when I neglect myself I really cannot be any of those things.

As I said, I think this is part of the problem.  I think there are more problems that will be unearthed with more dialogue.  Still, this is actually helping me when I make decisions about food.  I still make some wrong decisions, but not quite as many.

Cheers

Well we made it through Thanksgiving dinner. I bought an Opera cake www.alacuisine.org/alacuisine/2004/10/opera_cake_1.html (sorry if that makes you hungry) which is sooo delicious BUT I sent Mom home with about 1/4 of the cake.  I put another 1/4 in the freezer and have the remaining bits for me in the fridge.  AND when I saw Mom today she actually complimented the meal and the condo.  (we moved in June and only because of hosting this dinner is it in reasonable order).  Has an alien taken over her body??

This morning I walked the dog and had another fatt chat.  Really I am trying to work through issues I have always wanted to work through.  But with these dialogues it is a more structured manner.  Does it all stem from the chocolate as reward as a kid?  Does it relate to the fact that even at 5 pounds over waitte I was made to feel huge when I was young?  Or is it a host of other insecurities?  I will say this, after walking the dog for 1.5 hours (ok add in the 15 minute visit with Mom as the dog walked over to her place (only about a 5 minute walk but he took me all over the place before getting there) I came home and made Irish oat bran (how it is different from other oatbrans I am not sure) and was still hungry.  I heard the cake calling me from the fridge.  My husband suggested I have turkey.  Well we all know that 11:30am is too early for turkey but not too early for cake!

So, what did I do?  I put away the dishes from last night and got out the ingredients to make the stew we are having for dinner.  Then I logged on here.  Is the cake still calling me?  You bet.  BUT I know I will nosh while cooking the stew, so I am going that route instead. Maybe it is the talking…

Oh and another revelation?  I was lifting the box of my good china yesterday.  I have come to realize that when my abs feel good, I feel good.  Maybe I should be writing this all down….

Cheers!

I know, I have been AWOL for a while.  Really, my life has been so stressful and my waitte has followed.  Up to 201!  Makes that 197.5 I couldn’t shake look good!  I feel awful and I have been wondering (between breaths) what to do about it.

By coincidence (is there such a thing as a coincidence??) hubby and I have been doing the remaining unpacking to get the place in order to host a small thanksgiving dinner (Mom and my brother).  While unpacking I came across an old Good Housekeeping magazine.  Not a mag I usually read, but something must have made me by it back in March.  Anyway, there was a small article about one woman’s weight loss journey.  (Ok, several articles, but this one was actually more in line with my present thinking).  She said we all do the same thing and we lose and gain back.  What we need to do is have a “talk with our fat”.  We need to figure out what it is “trying to tell us”.  Although it sounds hokey, it made me think of that saying “you are destined to get the same results if you do the same thing over and over again” (or something like that).

So in the silent watches of the morning I started my conversation.  Now, after all these years, I am guessing it is not a simple 5 minute chat - or else we would all do it and address the issue.  But I think I may be on to something here. I definitely think my body is trying to tell me something - or maybe several somethings.

Having said all this about my life, I am overjoyed reading about your successes.  So, don’t think I have descended into the dark dungeon of despair and jealousy.  In all honesty, I think I am too busy right now to descend anywhere!  Instead, I think I am on the brink of one of those self discovery revelations we all get from time to time.

So, happy thanksgiving- even if you are not Canadian!  We are made everything - well except a nice cake I bought for dessert.  Granted I also attempted a pumpkin bread.  I am trying to get the hang of baking with non-wheat flour due to my allergies.  My last experiment was lemony cookies that tasted like lemon flavoured saw dust.  Wish me luck with the pumpkin bread.