butterfly emerging soon

SW:263

GW:165

TW: sigh 192.8  sigh

Breakfast Points:

Lunch Points:

Dinner Points:

Snack Points:

Workout:

sigh, groan, grumble, cramps, bloating, kind of crabby, wonderful TOM is doomed to make its appearance at any moment in my life.  That explains the 1.8 pound weight gain. yet I am still a glutton for punishment and refuse to stop weighing myself even though I know I will gain 1-3 pounds in water. 

On a much brighter side. We are taking our two little ones trick or treating in the old Victorian section of the town closest to us. It is so pretty and i am looking forward to taking my two little ninjas out . This will be a great walk for me as long as the kiddies hold out.  LOL

Well I am off to workout, teach, play with toddler, do laundry, do laundry, do laundry, LOL  Toodles!

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Disclaimer! 

 I got a very nasty comment that I did NOT post about my blog

sooooooo

 I know that I might have really pissed some people off about my very snarky comments about the female police officer from close to where i live and her little tirade over my offer to help before i saw who she was.  let me explain a tad. My grandfather was a police officer, my DS was an MP, my BIL is a agent for ATF, my DH works very closely with and is good friends with the police where he works.  I am not am not anti police. I so however expect an officer who is expected to have a higher tolerance degree in the way that they react to situations. If she reacts like that to me who only tried to help how would she react in a REAL situation that calls for good judgment????? Just a thought.  I am sooooo shamed that I said the B work in front of my kids and about an officer. Red face moment for me. Not a shining moment for me as a mom. But if that is the worst thing i do I am not doing that bad i guess.   Soo that is all I have to say about that.  

~~~~~~~~~~ 12 p.m.

Yahoooooo I am done teaching for the day. Gave DS a test in Spelling, Math, English, and Science. He is now doing some map work and he is all done. I have a few loads of laundry to do and then i am done for the day. Toodles for now.

SW:263

~~~~~

GW:165

~~~~~

TW: 191.0

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Breakfast Points:0.5

Lunch Points:10

Dinner Points:9

Snack Points:5

Workout:15 min. on Elli and 1 set arms /50 crunches

Good morning all of you sisterchicks!

Thanks so much for all of the nice comments and the few questions yesterday. I will answer them in yesterdays comments area.  Thanks again for all of the support!

Yesterday I had to renew my drivers license. Lets just say I am soooo ashamed of my photo!!! It looks awful! Do those EVER turn out well? I tried to smile just a little and look right at the light just as they said to. I look like a human deranged chipmunk!!!!  I give up!!! To think I had to pay for that!

Later in the day we made our trip to Walmart for a milk/bread/eggs run. It was BRRRRR cold! On our way back to our car I see the head of this woman on the side of a car and she was obviously trying to slim jim open her car where the keys were locked in. Been there and done that!!!!  There was another women on the passenger side talking to her as she was working. I thought man it is cold out here let me see of they need some help or a cell phone. I called out and asked if they need help. Then I got far enough along to see that the woman trying to open the car was a OBERLIN police officer. Lets just say she got nasty, mean, and very sarcastic. QUOTE of the female OBERLIN police officer on duty 10/29/08 “If you think you can do better than you do it!”    I said in return ” Sorry I did not see your uniform I did not know you were the police”   she muttered “stupid idiot” under her breath but I heard it.   Stupid idiot??!! For trying to help someone who i thought was in need. So I put the cart back and I was FLIPPING PISSED OFF!!!!!  I got in the passenger side of my van and as I shut the door I called her a BITC-!  I know that she heard me and I don’t care!!!!  So OBERLIN police department in OHIO you have one officer who ought to take leave for her freakin PMS!!!!!!!  Jeesh!!!  Then i felt bad because all of my kids were in the car. OH CRAP!!!!! How do i explain this one. Mommy said the B word plus mommy just called a police officer (our friend and helper) a bitc-.  crap, crap, crap!!!!! Not one of my finer moments.    

Last night I splurged and had 8 ounces of shrimp with coctail sauce for dinner with one peice of whole wheat/rye/ oat bran bread.  Oh YUMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!  Only 4 points 6 with the bread!!!!!!  I can only have this every great once in a while when it goes on sale. YUMMMMMMMOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  I might get this for Christmas as one of my foods that I can snack on and stay well within WW points.

Well I have to dash for now. Toodles!!!

~~~~~~~  7 p.m.

Someone asked me a while back about how my DH is about support , my weight loss etc… I think it was sistah Pat.  I meant to write about that sooner however I forgot. Sorry. I would like to blame my kids and say they suck my brain dry  LOL  However I cannot blame them.  LOL   He supports me and has even made some better food choices for himself in order to help me. He is always willing to go for family walks or let me take off and walk around where we live. He is so happy that I have lost over 70 pounds and is always telling me I look good and am getting so skinny. I accuse him of saying that just to be nice. I just don’t feel pretty or thin. I mean heck I am 191 that is not thin. however compared to what I was I guess it is getting there.  I would not have been able to do this without his support and help.   Well Survivor is going to start soon.   At least it is not going to be pre-empted by some stupid 30 minute infomercial.  I am soooooo sick of all of this election crud. I will be so glad when this election is   O V E R !!!!!!!!!!!       Toodles!!!

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SW:263

GW #1: 165

TW: 191.0

Points Breakfast:

Points Lunch:

Points dinner:

Points snack:

Workout:

Good morning to all of you sisterchicks out there! I hope that you are all having great days so far. Mine is so fantastic. I am down to 191 flat! I did not even hope for this. I was hoping to get down to 195 by the end of October. It is so weird but every time I eat way under points my weight loss stalls. You would think it would be the opposite right? I really need to look at my body different now. It is a machine in a way. This machine needs fuel. For the most part it needs good, healthy fuel. However because I am still human and not just a machine I need treats every once in a while as well. I just need to plan them out very well and have them few and far between. last night for dessert I had 1″ of that divine french coco cake with dark chocolate chips. I had it with a cup of raspberries/blueberries and a few tlb. of sugar free cool whip.  It was divine. It was enough. I got on that scale this morning in total frantic fear of gaining weight from this treat. I lost more weight! The difference is I ate that and now i am done. No more cake.  I am eating healthier and craving healthier foods. This has NEVER happened to me before. I used to hate fish, greens, raw produce, brown rice, wheat pasta, etc… I LIVED on white bread, rice, pasta, chips, fast food, sugar, sugar, sugar!!!  Now it is the opposite I LOVE certain fish and shellfish, whole wheat anything, raw produce, etc…. greasy fast food, chips etc… now make me ill. I now get IBS  (irritable bowel syndrome ) when I eat these things!!!!  I guess this machine even though it was programmed a certain way is now rejecting the CHEAP fuel.  LOL     Do not get me wrong I am still looking forward to a small slice of pumpkin pie with my turkey, spinach salad and wheat bread. I am still looking forward to pudding with hard sauce for Christmas.  BUT the difference this time is they will be a small treat and not the focus of the holidays.  Well I must dash I have to workout, teach some early classes at home so that I can go and renew my lic.    UGLY picture day!LOLOL

Toodles!

OH I almost forgot! I changed my goal! I am changing my first BIG goal to 165. I know that I can reach this by May of 2009. I know to get from 165 down to 155 will take at least 1/2 year. I did not want to be daunted by the time frame. So My first big goal is 165 by May. Then my goal is 155 by December.  This last 10 are the hardest! I will be so glad to be there!

Toodles

SW:263

GW:155

TW:191.8  yesssss!!!

Breakfast Points: 0.5

Lunch Points:9

Dinner Points:8.5

Snack Points:6

Workout:15 min. Elli, 50 crunches, 2 sets arms, 10 push ups (owie!!)

wooohooo!!!  yessssssss!!!!  Happy dance!!!!!!!!   191.8!!!!!!!!   OM Thank YOU dear Lord!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday was wonderful! We all had such a great time! We woke up early so we could get some chores done before we left. I packed up DS school for the road (he was so thrilled~not)  Fed the kids a quick yogurt and some dry cereal before we left. DH and I split a everything bagel with light cream cheese from Panera. Yummo!  We met my Dear aunt “S” at the airport where DH is stationed.  My dear aunt “S” saw me and said “Joy, where is the rest of you! You look wonderful!” She is so sweet. She has not see me since 263 over a year ago. It really made me feel good inside because i know she meant it.  We took her in downtown to a very old place where she went as a child called the ‘West Side Market’. It was built in 1913. It is an outdoor/indoor market. Very European in style. As a matter of fact ‘S” who has been to France said it is a great deal like their markets. She wanted to treat us to dinner so she bought all of the makings for organic chicken with herbs and a grey poupon/lemon juice glaze. It was also stuffed with lemons and herbs. (she also brought the rest of dinner with her that he sister in law made. Soooo nice and she is one great cook!).  We walked a good 30 minutes there. From there we went to Boston market for lunch where she treated us out. I had a Caesar salad with a chicken breast cut up in it , and dressing on the side. Yummoooooo!!!  From there we proceeded to the Medina Antique Mall. It is in a old K-mart and is big. It took us an hour just to walk the place. She found some gifts for her sister and I found 4 old women’s household magazines from the 40’s. Then we took the back way home to look at all of the colors. We talked, and talked, and talked. I love talking with her. She is one of the most positive people I know. I wish i was more like her in many ways.   Once home we made the dinner. Then we took a walk to look at the farms and land around us. BRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!    When I ate I had 4 ounces of chicken, 4 cups of salad with dressing, 1tlb of pasta, 1/2 ounce of bread. I also had 1/2 ounce of dark chocolate cake with 1 cup raspberries and sugar free cool whip for dessert. I had two sips of wine. So soon, too soon she had to leave for her hotel. Our time was so short, too short. I will miss her and cannot wait to see her again soon I pray.

So that was my day. Today it is back to the grindstone for me. School, cleaning, laundry, toddler. She made me realize even more I have got to get out of this middle of nowhere, deep country OHIO!  I am far too social to stay sane out here. I love being around people, especially the ones I love. We have got to sell next spring! Please God let us sell!!!!!!

That’s all for now. Did I bore you to death and kill you with details????  LOL  That’s me!  LOL  I never shut up do I?   

Toodles

~~~~ 12 pm

What a busy, busy day. DS is half finished with today’s school. I had a good amount of flashcard, puzzle and story time with my younger DS. I am behind on laundry but I just do not care!  LOL   I have to re-new my drivers lic. by the end of the week. I turn GROAN/sigh/sniff sniff  42 at the end of this week.  I was hoping to be at goal by my birthday however I am pretty content and happy to be where I am. I have 26 pounds to go till I am big goal #1 (165 pounds). Then only 10 more till my final goal of 155!  I am wondering if I can make my goal of 165 by the end of May of 2009. What do you think??? It might be hard. I know it will slow down more and more as I get closer to where my body should be.

Well off to teach. Toodles!

 6 p.m.

Just finished dinner of leftover chicken with bib lettuce on whole wheat with light miracle whip. I had a cup of raw veggies with it as well as 1/2 cup of grapes and Fat free Pringles. Yummooo. The chocolate cake in the house drove me nuts!!! It is a dark chocolate french loaf cake with dark chocolate chips in it. It called my name over and over. i told it to shut up!  I am making sure my boys eat it ALL tonight before i fall hard off of the wagon. I will be having a bowl full of berries with sugar free cool whip for my dessert. I have been snacking on almonds and dates. They are sooooo good!!! Toodles!!

SW: 263

GW: 155

TW: 193.8

Points today:

Workout today:

~~I had one of those dreams last night. You know the one. We all as women losing weight have them. At least I think we all do.  I dreamt  that I fell off the wagon BIG time and it was not even food that I would fall off the wagon for. It was pudding, pizza, and some other one I forget. I mean a Godiva chocolate ice cream with hot melted fudge and nuts all over would tempt me but PUDDING???   I eat low carb pizza so I don’t even get that one.  The thing is I wake up and it takes a few moments of panicked thoughts to realize I was asleep. siiiiigh   relief!!!  Now what does rational Joy do? She goes in and weighs herself to make sure she did not gain weight.  HUH???  WHA??? What the blankety blank is wrong with me??????  Its a good thing I did not gain my water weight yet for impending TOM or I would have freaked out!! How is it that a person can have a certain level of education yet still act soooo STUPID??!

Well today I am going to be spending the day with my dear Aunt “S”. She is my dad’s sister and so like him. She has his kind and generous heart, sweet yet adventurous spirit. She has been to practically every country I can imagine. She gives me a kind of connection to my dad who passed over 10 years ago.  We are going to spend the whole day together. She lives in Florida and I am in Ohio. That’s love to bear this crappy weather for a visit.  LOL We might get  GASP snow today!!!!!! YIKES! I will tell all Tuesday. You all have a wonderful day sisterchicks!!!!

 OH by the way Patty, jessica, angela etc….. thank you so much for your comments. I answered them on yesterdays comments. I am #5 on comments. Thanks again.

SW: 263

GW:155

TW:193.4

Points Breakfast : 2

Points Lunch:

Points dinner:

Points snacks:

Workout:

Good morning! In case you did not notice I erased yesterdays post because i want to wipe yesterday from my mind and pretend NONE of it happened. 

As you can see the scale has been very kind to me. It probably took pity on me after yesterday!   LOL  I am down to 193.4!!!!!  Can you believe it?????  I just might break into the 180’s by the end of November!  It is now official that I have lost 70 pounds. I want to get down to 155. I want to be healthy, have a little muscle and so NOT be a string bean!  Oh my goodness! I have LESS than 40 pounds to go!!!!!   It seemed so far away when I was 263. Really it has not been that long. I started in March but stuck to it starting in April. That is 7 months!  70 pounds in 7 months!  I am excited to be this close to being a normal weight. It has been so long, too long. Funny thing is I still feel like i look 263 pounds. It will not sink in. When does it???

Well big day today, workout, shower, work on the budget, clean, clean, clean. BUY stock in LYSOL people because cold and flu season is here and i plan on making this company VERY happy. Lysol wipes, Lysol spray, old fashioned in the brown glass bottle Lysol cleaner. Man that stuff smells so bad it could kill any germ known to man.  YES as you can guess because of my kids health I am a TOTAL germaphobic!!!!  i am guilty.  I am also sick of hospital visits, breathing treatments, steroids, epinephrine etc……. I figure it is easier for me to clean the house a LOT in winter than it is to deal with a hospital visit with my child in misery and danger. probably why i developed contact dermatitis!  LOL  The three rooms I stay well away from is my two teens bedrooms (I just don’t want to know or see) and their bathroom (they can clean it YUCKO). The rest of the house in my domain to clean.  Hmmm I wonder if i have a touch of OCD????

LOL

Toodles!

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~~~~~~  12:30 P.M.

I just HAD to post this.

Thanks Jean for passing this on to me and saying i can post this.

Prepare!

This

is

what

falling

of the wagon

looks

like!

Toodles

SW:263

GW:155

TW:194.8

breakfast Points:0

Lunch Points:10

Dinner Points:10

Snack Points:6

Workout:15 min on Elli & 1 set of arms and 75 crunches

DS Jacob had a late night last night with his Awana. He and his younger brother DS Ethan share a room. Now we have enough rooms in our little farmette for each child to have their own room. However Jacob and Ethan are so close they would not have it any other way. I went in early this morning to make sure they were tucked in and warm (cold night) and their little faces (one 9 and one 2) were like little angels. How I love those moments in time where you know  that specific memory will remain in you as long as you live. I seem to notice things like that a little more now that I am not using food to self medicate and at times numb my whole being. I am FEELING more and have to come face to face with my emotions and fears much now that I am not hiding from them in food. On the good side of all of this though is I get to FEEL the good moments more as well. No ice cream , chip, or pasta can compete with a childs laugh or sleeping face. No chocolate can even come close to matching a sloppy jelly face kiss or a embrace from DH.  I am learning to face it emotionally good, bad, wonderful, heart wrenching.  It is real and there is no more hiding if I want this to be for good.   OHHHHH jeeeeez I have to look at the calender. I tend to get this wordy when I am hormonal. Sorry sisterchicks.

Patty to answer your question I  took some whole wheat bread crumbs and 1 tlb. each of Old Bay, Garlic powder, and Onion powder. I put it in a container and shook the fish in it one fillet at a time to lightly coat it. Then I baked it till it flaked. I had it on light whole wheat bread with one serving of baked fries and an apple. My big regret it that I had no malt vinegar. I LOVE fish and chips with Malt vinegar. YUMMO! It was good. I have you to thank for telling me about this yummy fish. It is so cheap at WalMart. My kids prefer fish sticks   ~go figure  LOL   So I make them those while DH and I have Tilapia.

Well my plan is to workout on the Elli. and do a set of arm weights, some crunches, and maybe some push ups. Later since it will not be raining I am hoping we can get in a walk. For the next WEEK it will be  GROAN sleeting/raining. No walking in that crud!

~~~~~~~7 p.m.

Well no walk for us tonight. We just did not have enough time. Oh well such is life. I am sure we will have at least a handful more of walking days before OHIO winter sets in for a while. I had to clean out our upstairs storage closet this afternoon while Ethan was settling down for a nap. I needed to organize all of the Christmas gifts that I have been slowly buying for a few months now. It is the only way we can afford to get gifts for 4 kids. Now all I have to do is buy some things for DH and a few things for his family and the kids stockings then I am alllll done! Well let me tell you that storage closet was a HUGE mess! It took almost 1 hour to get it manageable so i could find stuff. I am such the control freak and always function better in a uncluttered environment.  LOL  I know I have issues.  LOL

Patty, thank you for sending me the poem. You should have that published it is so beautiful and really speaks of the love of being a mother. You are very gifted with your words! Thank you for sharing.

Toodles!

SW: 263

GW: 155

TW: 194.6

Breakfast Points:0.5

Lunch Points:10

Dinner Points:9

Snack Points:

Workout:15 minutes on Elli, 1 set 15 arms & 75 crunches// 30 min. walk in park

I am so glad this week is half over. You see my Aunt is coming to visit next Monday. All the way from Florida. This is my dad’s sister and she is one of the greatest people i have ever known. She is like a breath of fresh air. She has traveled EVERYwhere! Has see almost every corner of the earth and so many different cultures. She is the only person on my side of the family that I have a relationship with. Long story, and a painful one that I just do not want to go into. Soooo I need to figure out something to do with her while she is visiting. She also does WW so it will be easy when it comes to meals.

As you can see the scale has been kind to me once again. I am soooooooo glad to be under 195 by the end of the month. My goal is to be in the 180’s by the end of the year. Do you think that is doable??? I am waiting till after the holidays to join Curves. I would not be able to do while kids are home on Christmas vacation anyways so why waste the money. I really want to kick it up a notch in the workout department. After we move back to civilization I can find a real workout facility with aerobic classes, machines, weights etc….. I used to workout like that when i was younger and I miss it.  I get sooooo BORED working out at home allllll the time.  Ooops   am I whining??? Sorry.

Toodles

~~~~~~~~ 6:45 p.m

We took a 30 minute walk in the park after DH got home. It felt good to be out in the fresh air , moving around, stretching the legs.

We just got done with a fantastic dinner. I made the kids fish sticks, baked fries and mixed veggies. DH and I had Tilapia instead. It was soooo good!  I am off to relax and rest. Toodles sisterchicks!

SW: 263

GW: 155

TW: 195.8

Breakfast Points:0.5

Lunch Points:9

Dinner Points:10

Snack Points:4

Workout:15 min. on Elli.

This month has truly flown by. I find it amazing that soon we will be taking our two youngest trick or treating. They are both going to be two little Ninja fighters. I am almost excited about taking them trick or treating as they are to go. You see this will be our first time tirck or treating in a tiny little town. We are taking them into the rich, old, Victorian section which is just too pretty for words. it will be like stepping back in time. Remember the old Judy Garland movie “Meet Me in St. Louis”?  That is EXACTLY what this little town is like.  We cannot trick or treat where we live because it really is too small to be a town except in name.  LOL     My boys are going to bring home what is to be the genesis of the candy and junk season. Halloween starts it all.  This will be the first year I will need to really contend with and win over my chocolate fixation. You see I LOOOOOOVE chocolate!!!  Thankfully I have gotten picky and the cheaper chocolate no longer holds quite the same lustfulness as the Godiva or Dove chocolate. I doubt those will be handed out. If they are I am a dead woman. 

Well the scale was kinder to me these days. I have lost a tad more weight and am down to 195.8. It did flirt with 195.6 however I will take the higher number to be safe.  While I ate my safe chicken  my boys and DH chowed down on pasta. I have been Sneaking in veggies to different meals for them (kids). I like to grate in veggies into pasta sauce, turkey meatloaf, etc…. so that they get veggies without knowing it. Hence no more battles or me sweating over their nutrition.  I suppose the same thing can be done to lower calories in our food and make it healthier at the same time. Great things to grate in are carrots, zucchini, onion, celery, green peppers. I also use things like flax seed and jars of baby food like sweet potato, pears, squash in sauces and burgers and meatloaf. Believe me they do not know and neither will you. I started this because of my WAAAAAY picky two year old. Then I realized that this made my food healthier and lower in calories as well. Win win for me.    

I have to dash for now sisterchicks. Toodles!

 ~~~~~~~ 12:45 p.m

Finally! I get to have a short break. I was able to workout, shower, get kids up and dressed and fed. I taught a few subjects, washed some nic nacs, did flashcards with DS, fed them lunch and I just gave  DS a reading assignment while i finish some leading on the front door before I paint it some more.  Now here I am while DS finishes so I can give him his English and then he will be watching a DVD on the food pyramid. Fun, fun, fun, busy, busy, busy.  I really like being this busy .  I especially love being with my boys.  You all have a wonderful afternoon! Toodles!

SW:263

GW:155

TW:196.0

Todays Points:24

Workout:15 min. Elli & 30 min. walk in park

Monday morning. It is dark and frigid outside. The fire that my DH lit last night went out long ago in the wee hours of the morning. Let me tell you about men and anything to do with fires be it the grill or a fireplace or out door fire pit. They love this stuff even if they will never admit it to you. I mean i love a nice cozy fore in the fireplace just like the next gal (when we used to have one)   However last night DH took it a teeny bit too far in his battle to defeat damp wood not lighting up in the fire pit. DH stacked and enormous pile of wood . Which is very safe since we live on a lot of land. Then he primes the pump and wets the ground all around the wood pile. I just thought he was being safe. next time i look out there he has the gas can for the tractor mower that we have to mow our few little acres.  Okay I am thinking I do NOT want my child by that. “Jacob , back away until you count to 20 and stay that far away from the fire pit”. He complied as DH was STILL pouring gas on the wood.   Oh holy hell-0 he is going to set the planet on fire!  “Jacob , honey back up 10 more please!”  He rolls his eyes and complies with a “mooooooom”!.    DH lights it and it does not catch the entire planet on fire as I expected. Then all of a sudden  WOOOOOOOOOP BLAMMM!   A  HUGE ball of flame shoots from the ground up 30 feet into the air.  Even DH jumped.  DS very far and very safe yells “COOL!”  It was all Jacob and DH could talk about for a minute or so. Male bonding I guess. I just don’t get it.  I did ask DH not to use that much gas to light damp wood that gas costs way too much.  He just grinned his wicked handsome grin at me and made no promises. OH hell-o maybe i should go out and buy some more fire extinguishers????

My DS Ethan is doing great now. Thanks all of you wonderful sisterchicks for the kind words, support, and prayers for my little man.  After all of this I just feel so blessed to have my boys. Each day is such a gift. I dont promise to not get a little miffed over tantrums and 16 year old attitudes however every day I have with my boys I need to cherish.

My weight, my weight, my stinking weight. I have got to change things up here. Today I am getting off my lily white behind and working out!!!! Then i need to think of some ways to get in more workouts. Well that is about it for now. You all have a wonderful fantastic Monday. Toodles!

 ~~~~~~~7 p.m.

I made the boys and DH pasta for dinner. I made broiled chicken breast for myself. I still am not quite ready for pasta. I think I might be soon but for now i just have to stay away from the stuff. When I do start to eat pasta again it can ONLY be whole wheat pasta and not the white full sugar stuff. The same with rice for me. no more white only brown. It has been so long I really do not miss it too much. I do miss scones though!  My favorite is cranberry with orange glaze!  Yummo and pretty much a NONO for me 364 days a year. 

That is all for tonight. Toodles!