It has been six weeks and five days since we last communicated. I never thought we’d go this long, really. When I sent you away, I thought it would only be for a week…you know, the usual. But then week after week passed and I never brought you back. To be honest, I didn’t want to. I didn’t know the extent of how you affected my feelings until you were absent from my life for an extended amount of time.

So much as changed since the last time I saw you; the time for one. It gets dark sooooo early now, you wouldn’t believe! It’s also the holiday season. Yep, my favorite time of year. I’m also busy nanoing my behind off. Almost done and I should win again this year. OMG! the president elect….I think I’m still in shock from that. The nation is talking about how we’re heading for change after the election results; but I’m a skeptic. I prefer the wait and see approach. Oh, and there has also been a couple of guys to come into my life that I’ve chased away. Again with my usual. It’s funny, you are part of the reason I chase guys away on a regular. I suppose I measure my self-worth by what you say; the higher the number, the less worthy of love I feel. Sad but true. I know you don’t mean to make me feel this way; you’re just being honest, brutally so. That’s your job, so I accept it. I’d hoped with avoidance, my mind set would change. Without the constant reminder of how much I weigh, I would feel better about my self. It worked somewhat, but there was also your distant cousin, the mirror to remind me of my lack of progress.

So tomorrow we reunite after six weeks of absence. I can’t say that I’m excited. More anxious and nail biting nervous. I’ve been good, I promise. Eating right and working out everyday, but I know you; that doesn’t always matter. I’m hoping that we can be on good terms again but I won’t get hopes up. So yeah, tomorrow, bright and early. Just like old times, huh?

Sincerely,

Trina

Three things that seem to be hindering my weight loss as of late. I haven’t stepped foot on my scale since my birthday a month ago. I suppose I know I haven’t been good. I haven’t been bad either, but there is a REALLY good chance than I haven’t lost any weight.

I’m like super tired all the time…no energy or drive to work out. I feel like I spend half of my time at work and the other doing a mountain of homework. So now that the homework had tapered off because we’re nearing the end of the quarter, there is Nanowrimo-national novel writing month–that I can’t pass up no matter how busy I am. I have a month to write a 50,000 word novel so that doesn’t leave much time to do anything else. It’s a crazy month of creativity, tears and nervous break downs and this is the third year I’ve done it. I’m not a sadist, I’m an aspiring writer and for some reason, I do my best writing when I’m in a hurry.

Unfortunately, Nano tends to mean eating candy, popcorn and cocoa while I sit with my lap top for hours on end. Not the most healthy thing on earth, so this year, I’m trying to implement a thirty minute workout break. Here I am on day two…Word count: 7,000+ … Work out break: 0

Maybe I’ll be more structured during the week…