Cute, but fat.

Hello holiday foods! OMG…tis the season to welcome in every variety of holiday foods imaginable! 

Stay in control….remain focused….take a deep breath.

The food will always be there….no need to inhale a pan of fudge! hee hee

Yesterday was the first time I journaled in about two weeks.  I am making it a priority to write everyday and to visit the 3fatchicks site. It helps me to remain focused.

I can’t believe tomorrow is the last day of September.  OMG!  Wasn’t it just the first day of summer?  Wow…the old adage, time flies sure is pertinent when you get to be my age.  Ancient.

The goals I have this week are: Continue to exercise at least, the very least twice a day, continue drinking oodles and oodles of water, visit 3fatchicks and journal daily, try not to eat after 6pm, write down all that I consume through the day and most importantly stay in the moment. 

It’s the TOM this week so I am a bit off just from the natural occurrences of that delightful event.  Won’t use it as an excuse to eat everything in site.  Well, try not to! hee hee

Here’s to a happy, healthy week.

Moo.

Actually what does it feel like to be a cow? hee hee

This is my first post in two weeks!  Life has been in the way of my idle time, so I haven’t been ‘journaling’ like I was in the past.  Will make it a priority this week as it really seems to keep me on track.

Actually, my title “I feel like a cow” is because I can imagine what a bovine must feel like somedays. Kind of hefty and uncomfortable! hee hee.  Rest assure, I really don’t look like a cow, I keep my udders under wraps.  This is TOM (time of month) week so I have been indulging quite a bit.  The weather has been a bit humid and rainy, plus my son who has severe special needs has been very aggressive towards me for the last two weeks.  I feel like a bruised cow, actually.

Goals for this week: Shed my cow like image, cut way back on snacks and increase water and exercise. Very doable I believe.

I already feel better by journaling.  Another goal: to visit 3fatchicks website daily. I’ve been a bit lax on that also.

By the way, I adore cows, so any heifers lurking don’t be offended!

Today, Sunday September 14th I have feelings of guilt!  Not stemming from overeating, but coming from not exercising today. I pride myself on doing some type of exercise daily, even if it’s just a short walk.  Usually during the school day I exercise multiple times.  But, today the weather and errands and life got in the way so naturally feel guilty.  Instead of looking at all the exercise I do, I am focusing on today’s non exercise day.

It would be so nice to not have guilt feelings about exercise and food.

Something I must work on! 

“One Day when I’m skinny I will (fill in the blank)”…..

Sometimes I find myself in the trap of ‘one day’….instead of just living life now, for some reason I put off things until “one day” which really translates to one day when I am skinny/thin. Like for some reason I am not good enough as I am so thus, I can only pine for these desires and patiently wait for them until I am ‘thin’.

Here are some of my “one day” wishes:  To wear a pair of Levi 501 jeans,  to feel incredibly sexy in anything I wear, to look in the mirror NAKED and be happy,  to one day find a man who will like me at any size and probably the most significant is to walk with my head held up high.  I tend to look down when I walk.

I think most of the above items are doable.  Now the question remains do I achieve them now or wait for ‘one day’…..

Bunny is my nick name, so I often use ‘bunny’ in a lot of references.

It just dawned on me that for the last 6 months I have been maintaining my weight.  I thought I had reached a plataeu of sorts, but after much thought I’ve come to the realization, that I am eating the same foods day after day, not changing the amounts, thus I have developed a maintenance mode.

DUH! 

Sheesh, to start losing again I need to decrease my calorie intake daily.  I am making that a goal this week.  To alter my food intake so I can lose at the very least a pound this week. 

Maybe soon I’ll graduate from dumb bunny….to…ummm…Playboy bunny. 

Do you ever sabotage your own journey?  Willfully knowing you will only put yourself in harm’s way. 

I DO I DO I DO! 

I know my trigger foods and yet I buy and have them accessible to me. Tempting me at every move. 

I ask myself why do I set myself up for failure??  I think it’s a safety net sort of mindset.  Kind of like if I don’t have that special treat in the house that somehow I will starve.

What a nutty thought, huh!  I could certainly survive without a HUGE bag of M&M’s starring me in the face.

I am the person who does the marketing, thus making me solely responsible for what I buy and bring home.

I want to let go of the ‘crutch’ of bad food.  I used to stock pile unhealthy foods in the cupboard for a ‘just in case’ day.  I know longer do that, but I do have a bag or two of M&M’s on standby. No, not the little itty bags either….the great big suckers! hee hee

I am a work in progress…..

I haven’t written for a few days!  I missed it too.

Life has begun again for me.  Yesterday was the first day of school so I can return to a somewhat productive day.  Which mostly includes exercising, errands and housework.

I just posted a question under the support forum about how often people weigh themselves.  I religiously weigh myself once a week and if the scale balloons up it pretty much dictates my day.  Nevertheless, I always weigh myself even when I have not eaten well. I want to be responsible for my choices and not avoid the reality.

I often wonder how some people can weigh only once a month. That would drive me batty.  How do they know they are losing weight if they are not stepping on the scale weekly?  I know myself too well that if I only weighed once a month I would think in my mind that it gives me a whole month to eat what I want and not think about the scale. 

I’ve read so many views on how often to step on the scale.  I applaud those who can mindfully still lose weight without the temptation of the scale.  I’ve yet to get there.

The numbers the glare at me when my white size 8 Wide feet plop on the scale are deafening sometimes.  Unless I lose, then it’s a sigh of relief.

One mini goal I would love to have is too not let the scale numbers take over my life.  I can feel very bad if the scale goes up, even if I am following my routine to a “T”. 

Scale blues for sure…..