Cute, but fat.

that will teach me a lesson, I hope!  I naturally never look at all the positives that have happened with losing weight, I focus on the few bumps in my path.  These bumps of recent happen to be in the form of food, mainly M&M’s. My God Man…who invented these delicious little pop in your mouth delights!  hee hee.

I am NOT throwing in the towel or giving up at all. I continue to exercise daily, sometimes twice or three times a day. I continue to limit my extra foods (with the exception of those yummy colored candies) and I drink a mind boggling minimum of 120 ounces of water daily. 

So, with this minor detour of M&M’s, I am wishing that it will soon pass and my new fixation will be something yummy, but not as calorie laden. Hmmm…..possibly a tall, dark handsome MAN! hee hee

First M&M’s then Oreos….Double Stuff Oreos I might add.

What’s next?

The kitchen sink!

I gave myself the goal of abstaining from M&M’s for the week…..

Darn, I didn’t even last a day! hee hee

The key to avoiding the M&M intake is this: DON’T BUY THEM!

But, I didn’t buy them…..the cat threw them in the shopping cart.

Meow….

New goal for the rest of the week: Don’t turn into a M&M candy! 

My mini goal today is make it through the day without any M&M’s!  So far so good!  Doesn’t help that soon my period will begin. That usually means I want chocolate! 

What’s a girl to do???

Try as I might….I will abstain from eating delicious, chocolately Plain M&M’s.

I’ve been on a crazy M&M kick lately. 

I won’t replace the M&M’s with another food, I will just occupy my time otherwise.  I tend to eat when I am bored.  Hmmm…… instead of popping M&M’s into my mouth I shall do my Pilates DVD. 

I think I can….I think I can…. 

Here goes another rant about the weather in New Hampshire.  Being originally from sunny and dry California it’s certainly a switch trying to adapt to the sulty summer months.  The thick hazy stagnate air doesn’t tempt me at all when it comes to exercising.  I feel like doing nothing!  Though, a short walk is better than not walking at all.  Goal for today: try to walk.  Goal for tomorrow: buy a one way ticket back to CA!  Kidding…..I love NH!

About people who don’t live to eat.  What do they do with their time???  I’m consumed by food thoughts all the time, though that is something I am currently working on.  I’ve known people who can go a whole day without even eating and not wince about it.  Sheesh!  I guess we all have our vices.  Mine is men and chocolate! 

So I’ve heard.  I also think good girls finish last as well.  It seems in order to be considered a valuable person you need to be beautiful, skinny and have some HUGE assests, if you know what I mean.  The “Girl Next Door” hasn’t a chance nowadays.  A girl who has values, integrity and wholesome-ness can’t compete with a woman who is a bitch and rules the roost.  The bitchier you are the more men you’ll get. If you tend to be more docile, like me then you get nuttin’. 

In my case if you are fat, docent and have a huge heart, then forget it! 

 All these ‘blog’ ramblings are a direct correlation of being FAT! 

Fat isn’t Phat!

 Just an observation…..

The image of myself is very distorted.  I read what the scale says, I look at my accumulated weight loss and I still see a very FAT woman in the mirror staring back at me.  The message I keep replaying in my mind is: Men like skinny chicks.  Sheesh, I’ll never have a chance then.  What is skinny by the way????  Who determines the barometer for skinny??  What happened to all the chubby chasers of the world???  My self worth is at an all time low.  Apparently I am not worthy enough to get a man (if I wanted one to begin with) unless I am reed thin.  The more I lose, the more I am unhappy.  At least when I was heavier it didn’t even cross my mind that men only like thin women.  This recent weight loss journey is for ME!!!  Other times I’ve lost weight it was to please someone else.  Instead of enjoying the ride I am beating myself up inside because I am not good enough as just me. 

Another Day….Another struggle with weight.  In the beginning of my weight loss I wasn’t fixated on every pound lost or gained. I just appreciated the fact I was becoming more healthy.  Now I focus a lot of energy thinking about what I am going to eat or not to eat, what execise I can do, what will the scale reveal on weigh in day.  I need to get back to the more carefree attitude as it was consuming my thoughts.  Goal for upcoming week:  Increase exercise, no eating after 6pm and redirect my ‘food thoughts’ to something more productive.  Ummm…like men!