Cute, but fat.

Holy Cow!  I am fully responsible for what I purchase at the supermarket, thus I am fully responsible for what I put in my mouth.

No blame on anything but ME!

I’ve been off track for about two weeks now.  My usual steadfast approach has gone by the wayside. I’ve been soooooo gooooood for 18 months with diet and exercise, that I believe I’ve reached a rut/stalemate.

HELP!

I’ve been inhaling food like a crazy woman.  I can feel myself getting bigger and bigger.  I am conscious of what I am doing, yet I don’t STOP! 

How can I go from a docile, mindful dieter to a woman that is out of control. I will do everything in my power to NOT return to my heaviest weight.  That is why I check 3fatchicks daily and blog.  I need to regain control and resume.  I will not fall off the wagon and say ‘whatever’. 

I kind of feel like a rebellious teenie booper who doesn’t want to adhere to the plan, just kind of make my own rules.

Last weeks weigh in I gained 3 pounds!  UGH UGH UGH UGH!  So Monday, I started with a fresh page and decided to increase water/exercise and decrease excess eating. That lasted for a day.  Gee.

I have tons of encouraging notes scattered about to help me remained focused. Guess, I am not paying attention to them, huh! hee hee.

Tomorrow I have 2 very doable goals: water and exercise. If I can keep those two in line, then hopefully this need to overeat will vanish!  I am not talking about an extra snack here and there….but down right inhaling a bag of M&M’s. No, not the small bag either!

I will not let myself regain the 50 pounds I have lost.  I will not let myself regain the 50 pounds I have lost.

I will write and say this 100 times! hee hee

well, not exactly frightful, but certainly chilly.  Autumn has arrived in New Hampshire.

What a quick week. Seems like it was just Monday morning and I was rolling out of bed at 5am to get the morning started.

Tomorrow is D-Day…or should I say W-Day. Weigh in Day.  I know I am up at least two pounds. Knowing this some might avoid weighing in. Not me, for some sick reason I make myself be accountable for that weeks bumps and such.  I have not missed a weigh in since beginning this weight loss February 2007.  I figure if I overeat, might as well face the music.  Also, from past experience once I miss a weigh in, then soon I miss two weigh ins, then three…etc….etc….etc.

So, chin up….step on the scale tomorrow morning, record your gain (I deserve it wholeheartedly) and make strides to improve your week!

Toodles….

Nothing to do with diet or exercise. 

I love listening to Howard Stern!  His show makes me laugh and I love to laugh.  Doesn’t laughing burn calories! hee hee

keeps the junk food away. NOT!

I made it my mission to blog everyday to help me stay on track.  I was blogging daily for awhile then got side lined by life, so I rededicated myself to visiting 3fatchicks and blogging.

Can’t say it’s helped me stay on track, but I’m more cognizant of my habits.

October 1st and all’s well.  The  leaves are changing rapidly where I live. Such beautiful colors abound. In fact, some of the leaf colors are so yummy looking I want to eat them!  Is there anything I won’t eat? hee hee

I was in Target the other day and naturally not only do they have Halloween set up, but in the way back corner they had a couple aisles already filled with Christmas stuff. NO NO NO!  Christmas in New Hampshire means months of cold, snow and ice. Why in the world did I leave sunny California? 

Hello holiday foods! OMG…tis the season to welcome in every variety of holiday foods imaginable! 

Stay in control….remain focused….take a deep breath.

The food will always be there….no need to inhale a pan of fudge! hee hee

Yesterday was the first time I journaled in about two weeks.  I am making it a priority to write everyday and to visit the 3fatchicks site. It helps me to remain focused.

I can’t believe tomorrow is the last day of September.  OMG!  Wasn’t it just the first day of summer?  Wow…the old adage, time flies sure is pertinent when you get to be my age.  Ancient.

The goals I have this week are: Continue to exercise at least, the very least twice a day, continue drinking oodles and oodles of water, visit 3fatchicks and journal daily, try not to eat after 6pm, write down all that I consume through the day and most importantly stay in the moment. 

It’s the TOM this week so I am a bit off just from the natural occurrences of that delightful event.  Won’t use it as an excuse to eat everything in site.  Well, try not to! hee hee

Here’s to a happy, healthy week.

Moo.

Actually what does it feel like to be a cow? hee hee

This is my first post in two weeks!  Life has been in the way of my idle time, so I haven’t been ‘journaling’ like I was in the past.  Will make it a priority this week as it really seems to keep me on track.

Actually, my title “I feel like a cow” is because I can imagine what a bovine must feel like somedays. Kind of hefty and uncomfortable! hee hee.  Rest assure, I really don’t look like a cow, I keep my udders under wraps.  This is TOM (time of month) week so I have been indulging quite a bit.  The weather has been a bit humid and rainy, plus my son who has severe special needs has been very aggressive towards me for the last two weeks.  I feel like a bruised cow, actually.

Goals for this week: Shed my cow like image, cut way back on snacks and increase water and exercise. Very doable I believe.

I already feel better by journaling.  Another goal: to visit 3fatchicks website daily. I’ve been a bit lax on that also.

By the way, I adore cows, so any heifers lurking don’t be offended!

Today, Sunday September 14th I have feelings of guilt!  Not stemming from overeating, but coming from not exercising today. I pride myself on doing some type of exercise daily, even if it’s just a short walk.  Usually during the school day I exercise multiple times.  But, today the weather and errands and life got in the way so naturally feel guilty.  Instead of looking at all the exercise I do, I am focusing on today’s non exercise day.

It would be so nice to not have guilt feelings about exercise and food.

Something I must work on! 

“One Day when I’m skinny I will (fill in the blank)”…..

Sometimes I find myself in the trap of ‘one day’….instead of just living life now, for some reason I put off things until “one day” which really translates to one day when I am skinny/thin. Like for some reason I am not good enough as I am so thus, I can only pine for these desires and patiently wait for them until I am ‘thin’.

Here are some of my “one day” wishes:  To wear a pair of Levi 501 jeans,  to feel incredibly sexy in anything I wear, to look in the mirror NAKED and be happy,  to one day find a man who will like me at any size and probably the most significant is to walk with my head held up high.  I tend to look down when I walk.

I think most of the above items are doable.  Now the question remains do I achieve them now or wait for ‘one day’…..

Bunny is my nick name, so I often use ‘bunny’ in a lot of references.

It just dawned on me that for the last 6 months I have been maintaining my weight.  I thought I had reached a plataeu of sorts, but after much thought I’ve come to the realization, that I am eating the same foods day after day, not changing the amounts, thus I have developed a maintenance mode.

DUH! 

Sheesh, to start losing again I need to decrease my calorie intake daily.  I am making that a goal this week.  To alter my food intake so I can lose at the very least a pound this week. 

Maybe soon I’ll graduate from dumb bunny….to…ummm…Playboy bunny.