When is enough, enough?
I’m not talking about diet/exercise, I’m referring to an ongoing conflict with a friend. Just about this time last year I sent a nasty email to a friend of mine. We had been friends since junior high and were roommates in college. All 5 of us that were roommates have kept in touch and although we’re spread around our state we always made an effort to get together at least once a year, w/o hubbies and kids!! Anyway, the reason I sent the email was b/c a week or 2 earlier was when my son had his big seizure and nearly died. After that time this one friend (as well as my brother, but that’s a different story alltogether) failed to contact us, send a card, whatever. It honestly didn’t bother me all that much b/c I know that often people don’t know how to react when kids and illness mix so I figured she just didn’t know what to say. But then I noticed that my email inbox was being filled w/stupid political emails from her. She and I are definitely on opposite ends of the political spectrum, so the emails annoyed me anyway. But combing the ignorant messages w/the fact that she hadn’t taken the time to even mention the fact that our son had nearly died sent my blood to the boiling point. The final straw was an email that arrived at a time where our son wasn’t sleeping and after a horrible day at school. Basically I replied to her email that if she couldn’t take a minute or 2 to send an email acknowledging our son’s experience that she should not waste her time sending me stupid political emails.
A short time later I sent her another email apologizing for how I responded to her. I still explained that I was hurt that she had essentially ignored our experience, but that I shouldn’t have been so harsh when I said it. I told her that if she would rather talk about this than take care of it over email to let me know when a good time would be to talk and I would give her a call. We have been friends for over 20 years and I didn’t want to lose her friendship.
Fast forward a year and I still haven’t heard anything. We did get the generic Christmas photo but that’s it. I sent her another card for her birthday in August and have yet to hear anything. At this point I’m just about to the point where I’m done putting forth any more effort. I mean, I don’t want to lose this friendship, but if 1 argument in 23 years can end our friendship then I don’t have enough time to maintain it. A mutual friend knows the story and she thinks that our friend is completely being a drama queen and that I had every right to react the way I did AND I apologized for losing my temper. I don’t even know why I’m writing about this, maybe I just want to know why she’s still so pissed. Oh well, this may be one of the many mysteries in life.
Those arguments are tough. I’m sorry that I don’t know what to say. My DH lost a friend from elementary school that way in a similar way. I tried to call his friend and be the go-between, but nothing ever came of it. I just hope they run into each other sometime and have to lend a hand. Perhaps that will happen to you to. It’s like it has to be forced through and then things would be fine. That’s a toughie…
Thanks for your encouraging words today, Brandie. I’m a little concerned about dropping down to 1,000 calories but it’s only for a week and I think the exercise should help keep my metabolism going .
As for your friend, sorry to say it but she sounds like a fair-weather friend. Okay for the good times but can’t be counted on during the rough stuff. First of all, she should have asked about your son, having failed to do so, she should have been absolutely mortified when you called her on it and bent over backwards to make it up to you. Finally, she let you apologize to her and couldn’t even reciprocate??? I’m sorry, I think I would let that one go. Perhaps you’ll run into her and can pick up the friendship again at some point but I wouldn’t waste any more time or effort unless she approaches you.